The real banking woes

Letter from a customer to the bank!
======================

Dear Sir,

In view of the current developments in the banking industry, if one of my cheques is returned marked 'insufficient funds', does that refer to me or to you?

Yours faithfully,

Customer

Overheard...

I was out with a friend on day when he got a call. The call lasted just a few seconds but as it progressed he sounded more and more alarmed at something. 

It went like this...

Frnd: "Helloo"

.....

Frnd: "This is he. May I know who is calling?"

.....

Frnd: "Oh! You don't say!"

.....

Frnd: "You don't say!!"

.....

Frnd: "You don't say!!!"

.....

I was getting worried just looking and listening to him talk on the phone. What could be the matter? What is it that the other person is saying that is getting my friend all worked up? So many questions...

After he cut the call I asked him with all the sincerity and empathy that I could muster...

Me: "I hope every thing is OK. Who was it?"

Frnd: "Oh! He didn't say!"

!!!!!!

:-S

Dwarfed amongst Giants!

In the village there is an ominous whisper to be heard.. among the trees, among the gathered folk. “They” have landed…

Everything is still for a moment… then screams, confusion and mayhem rule the roost. The fort is sealed and doubled up with sentries. Every able bodied soldier is bought out into the fray to fight. The children are sent to the safe confines of the dungeons. If you listen carefully you can hear their muffled cries. And the frightened fort awaits… their DOOM…

Every ear is tuned to the familiar clickety-click of hoofs. Once they hear that, they know their end is but hours away… Eventually the worst is confirmed… “They” have reached the gates.

The fight ensues… The fort puts up a brave fight. Slowly but surely the defences fail, one after another. Then in one final blow the fort falls… The prince is bought to his knees. But “They” are merciful… ruthless, but merciful… “They” grant the prince his freedom in exchange for treasures and submission. Having ensured victory and collected their trophies, “They” ride out into the sunset… In their Black Stallions, their mind set on their next target… But none know who or where.. And this keeps the princes in the neighbouring counties guessing and confused… Awaiting their turn, unable to defend, unable to win…

Who are “They” you ask? Well, not the Norman conquerers. But close… “They” are conquerors alright! And “They” have been relentlessly at their task for some time now… Leaving behind death and destruction wherever “They” set foot.

“They” arrive in small groups… To fight for glory and fame. “They” are trained to feel no pain, to fight till their last drop of blood, to their last breath. To do or die… The strength that makes them such a formidable foe, a force to be reckoned with.

“They” bulldoze enemy lines, leave behind carnage. “They” Bring back gold, glory and trophies, encrusted in gold, silver and precious gems to their Alma Mater.

So, what does it feel to have the best of the breed in your midst? What does it feel to look up and see glory? What does it feel to stand along side Giants?

Ask me, and I shall tell you!  Ask me, and I shall tell you stories of their victories! Ask me, and I shall deliver the victory song, with the war cry and the dances.

Ask me, and I shall tell you what it feels to be DWARFED among GIANTS.

And I’m proud of being part of the clan…

To see full (and growing) list of their conquests click –>http://greatlakes.edu.in/studentAchievements.php 

Venucians!

Women have always had a special effect on me, generally good... and I in turn have had a special effect on them too and I can vouch that atleast sometimes its good... 

Such a special effect happened today evening right after I met up with Miss D.I and Mr H while on my quest for that elusive electrical shop.

I had parked my bike opposite Adayar Odyssey before i went to Spencers. After my shopping binge, I walked across to my bike. Just as I reached it, She came in her pink Scooty and parked in right next to mine. She had had her helmet on and had a shawl cover most of her face so as to protect it from the dust i reckon... 

I stood there next to my bike, fiddling with my set of keys... just waiting for her to take off her helmet... 

She took it off, and remover the shawl from her face... Her hair previously tied in a bun unravelled... It was like a beautiful cascading waterfall... and I stood there watching her... my mouth open... The most beautiful thing on planet earth had just descended from the heavens

Guys in the audience will agree with me when I say that you will have been away from your girl a bit too long when you find that ever other girl you meet is goddess Venus... and I guess I have been away a bit too too long.. so much so that I find that some of the girls in my class are remotely Venuses! Eyww!

Anyway, getting back to my Venus... I mean story... She had parked her bike a bit too close and when she saw my admiring her beauty (read staring at her) she mistook it (luckily for me) that I was waiting for her to move... 

The lady that she was, she immediately moved her Scooty a bit for me to go... I guess she dint find me as attractive... I took the hint and backed out my bike but not before thanking her for her kind gesture...

I was just about to leave, dejected, broken hearted, when it happened... My world shook... and it wasn't such a great thing either... I felt a hot burning pain shoot up my leg... I turned around and found my Lady in the pink Scooty fallen at my feet... literally... 

My first instinct was to pick her up and tell her she dosen't have to beg me to be her boyfriend (I was more than willing ;) ) but then I got back from cloud 9 to planet earth to realise that she had just fallen over... 

I showed true chivalry... even though I was about to fall over, I took it on myself to pick her up and her scooter all the while doing a balancing act lest I should fall over and meet my death at the oncoming traffic... but such mundane things dint matter... I was after-all helping a goddess... what more can a guy ask for... 

She got up, brushed herself and said sorry a thousand times... "I forgot that I din't put the side stand, I'm so sorry"

Being the gentleman that I am, I on my part brush away all that and said its fine and all that... after-all, I reasoned, it was my charm that had made her forget to put the stand... I am to be blamed I told myself... I half hoped she would tend to me as caringly as I had done with her... 

Well, that was not to be... all she did was pick up her stuff and walk across the road to the guy waiting for her (who I might add was laughing seeing all this, while it was I who helped her al all)... Women dont know whats good for them even if it hits them in the face!

Now, as I write this, Im nursing the wounds that I sustained in this entire debacle... I literally lost a hand and foot to that lady... 

:-S

Eyww...

So I had been out searching for an electrical shop today and ended up buying some unrelated stuff from Spencers. Just as I was entering Spencers I chanced to see Mr H and Miss D.I having a cake and eating it too... 

I walked up to them in the hope that I might be offered a piece of it but soon realised from Miss D.I how quickly someone could gobble up food when faced with and adversary such as myself...

Anyway, as soon as she was able to speak (for her mouth was full of the snack that she dint want to share with me, which gave her the look of a puffed up stuffed toy) she said:

D.I: "Hi Georgei.. "

Me: "Hi D.I, Hi H"

D.I: "So what are you doin here?" 

She had a sly smile on her face, which made me wonder if it was due to something she wanted to tell me or if it was something to do with the fact that she had just gobbled up some snack (without sharing with me BTW) that was caught in her throat!

Me: "Oh just like that... had a bit of shopping to do..." I replied innocently and honestly (2 qualities that abound in me as can be seen from this very admission...)

D.I: "Who are you with?" She said pointing at a couple of, well, not so impressive girls behind me

Me: "What?! Them? Eyww... No way! I'm here alone!"

D.I: "Really? Eyww? That too from you?" she replied again with that sly smile...

Me: "Dude... I might not be all that good looking but I do have my standards, y'know... I'll settle for lower... but should be atleast your level"

;)

The book (or post) of revelation...

This is one of three posts that I plan to put up today. (Note the italicised plan) You can find the other 2 here (blog 2) and here (blog 3)

This first one is kind of a revelation... like the one Jesus had when he entered the holy waters of the Jordan River for his baptism... (not that i had to wade thru any of the holy murky waters still logged in some areas of chennai after the rains last week)

But readers please don't misunderstand me when I say this... this is not some post that is any different from my others... meaning it does not deviate from my usual nonsensical self and say anything particularly pathbreaking... 

For the past few days I've been running from pillar to post (or more correctly junction to junction) in this great city of Chennai trying to locate a teeny weeny electrical shop! And I have given up... 

I declare - There are NO electrical shops in Chennai! Serious!

All you wanna be entrepreneurs - this is your chance... just share a bit of that profit you make with this poor blogger who is jobless and ends up writing these useless posts!!!

DDOB

Let me warn you readers in advance.. This is a time pass blog... I realised that I hadnt written anyhing in so many days that I thought ill write a time pass blog just for he heck of it. 

BTW, DDOB stands for Daily Dose of Bakhwas! and BTW stands for By The Way (just in case u dint know)

Anyway i write just for the heck of it, so y should this be any different? right? Infact im not even going to bother to correct the spelling erros during my typing.

Well, comming to te poit, the reason i havnt written any thing is 

1) ive been in the middle of exams

2) all the ppl arond seems to have caught on to the idea that if they say or do anything in front of me, ill put it in a blog. So nowadays the moment I go into a room, all of them take cover of scurry away from the place. 

Anyways, im finished with my bakhwas for the day.

Signing off

ME!