Quirky Questions...

March 15^th is a hectic day for almost all students at Great Lakes. I would say the MOST hectic day! This is the day when many of us start and finish the yearlong empirical research study that we have to do at Great Lakes. I say almost all because those of us doing their research under the guidance of Prof. Venkat and Prof. Zubin have already finished the research well in advance (I believe some 3 months back… Sheeshh!!!). The rest of us, mortals, are still in the fray for the consolation prizes – meaning grades other than A!

When it comes to empirical study, there are all sorts in our class. Some of them (the like of ppl described above) are serious, deliberate and studious. Some do it for the all-important grades. Some do it because they have to inorder to graduate. Some… don’t do it! Ofcourse, this “Won’t do it” attitude is only till the last day for if we don’t submit our study, which amounts to 2 credits, we get an “F” grade. Which essentially means that our MBA does a double flip on its heels and then we can kiss it goodbye!

It was in this context that I gave a frantic call to Miss R. She is one of those “model” students, the pet of the Prof. and all in all a complete crackpot! (BTW, her study has been accepted at the ASAC Conference, Canada and she has promised me a suitcase full of chocolates when she returns. There Miss R, no escaping now!!).

Coming back to the topic, this how our conversation went:

Date and Time: 15^th March, 2009. 5:30 AM

“Tring Tring” (Phone rings, and after a persistent 7-8 rings it is picked up)

Miss R: “Hello George. What is it NOW!!??”

Well, you gotta hand it to her. She had been extremely calm considering I had been incessantly calling her and asking her for advice on the empirical study from day one. And this call was at an unearthly hour (I don’t care what Prof. Venkat says, I still maintain that 3-6 AM is as unearthly as they come).

Me: Heave Ho, Huff and Puff

Miss R: “George! Behave yourself! You should not wake a girl up at this hour and spray her with sleazy noises! Infact you should not call a girl up at any time and make sleazy noises! Shame on you!”

Well, she had a point. It is not gentlemanly to call a girl at unearthly in the first place and then to treat her to weird noises was worse! But honestly, I wasn’t trying any thing sleazy… it’s just the way I am!

Me: Croak and Cough

Miss R: “George! What’s the matter with you!!?? Have you turned into a frog or warthog or something? Not that it makes much of a difference!”

Again she had a point. I wonder if I should rethink about her being a crackpot… she was making perfect sense till now.

I finally found my voice

Me: “R… help… please…”

Miss R: “Get a grip on yourself dude! I know its something silly to do with the empirical study… Whats the problem?”

Silly?? Well, excuse me! Me no model student, but I do ask smart questions too y’know! Like the other day when one of our Profs was explaining the concept of Theory of Constraints, I asked a question that let even the Prof dumbfounded and open-mouthed… I asked. “Sir, if inventory pileup is the biggest enemy to any plant, then isn’t the best solution not to manufacture any inventory at all? Just manufacture the end product!” Well, there you have it! Perfect solution to your problems, GM and Ford. Maybe I ought to become an operations consultant… if Goldrat can do it, so can I… So there!!.

Me: Whining and Wheezing

Miss R: “Let me know when you stop making stupid noises! Ill wait”

Patience, thy name is Miss R!

Me: “R… not noises… no breath… going black all over… verge of death…”

Miss R: “Really? What a shame! I was gonna invite you over to finish the last 4 pieces of KFC that I bought yesterday! Now, ill just have to throw it away!”

Me: “KFC? Ill be over in a jiffy! Why dint you say so in the beginning? I thought I smelt KFC when I was passing by your place yesterday!! (Yes, I have a very developed olfactory sense, especially when it comes to KFC… Its one of my strengths!) And don’t say that you throw it away in front of it… KFC also has feelings you know… Don’t be so cruel to the poor thing even though it has been deep fried in boiling oil!”

Miss R: “So… you are not dying, is it? Hmmm…”

Me: “Errr…”

Miss R: “I thought so! Now tell what is the problem?”

Me: “Well, you see I have the most important question to ask you about the empirical study”

Miss R: “Yes, you really need to write more than 5 sentences.” She pre-empted…

Proves that she does not know me at all, doesn’t it? Obviously I had more that just 5 lines! I had close to 7 that too excluding the name of the study and all such jazz!

Me: “Ha! Gotcha! I have more than 5 sentences” :-P

Its after I did that anteater impression that I realized that she could not see the sarcastic look on my face… I let it go. No point in bringing it up to be just snubbed!

Miss R: “Woow! You really exceeded my wildest expectations!”

Me: “Dangzz J”

Miss R: “BTW, you still haven’t told me why you woke me up from my slumber. As it is, I slept late yesterday”

Me: “Really? You too? Well me too… infact I haven’t slept at all. I was too busy with my empirical study. I swear, writing this stuff is hard work, don’t you think so? I mean, I was...”

Pity she cut me off right there… I could have told her a whole story of my experiments with the truth! (No! Its not something kinky, you dirty minded freak!!) But unlike the Mahatma I dint really have a revolution to make the entire thing really damn exciting and make a book of it…

Miss R: “George!!! If you have nothing other that blabbering and making confounded noises, both of which are synonymous by the way, ill go back to my sweet sleep…”

Me: “No No… pls I need your help”

Miss R: “Then tell me what your problem is you silly ass!”

I was hurt… really… Miss P says I’m more of a penguin… And I haven’t yet refuted her… maybe it’s the way I walk! And ofcourse the fact that I’m blacker than a dirty, unpolished diamond… a diamond all the same ;-)

Me: “I have the most important question about the study, with out the answer to which I wont be able to submit my study at all!!”

Miss R: “So tell me already! You sound more like a broken record saying the same thing over and over again! You have been torturing me over the phone for the last 10 mins and disturbed my sleep and giving me a damn headache!”

I could see that she was getting a bit ex..., what’s the word… excited? No exasperated… yes that’s the word. But me torturing? I always thought my croaky voice had quite a soothing effect on ppl!

Me: “Ok Ok.. hold on to your horses… Sheeshh… its not as if you were doing anything important right?”

Miss R: “AaArrrrghhhhh!!!”

Me: “Hey! Don’t butt in when I’m trying to ask you the question! Then you’ll come back and tell me I was not asking the question too… Seriously dude! You need to make up your mind!”

Miss R: “GEORGE!!!!!!”

Me: “Ok, hey tell me… What should the font size be?”

There was a loud bang and it is still ringing in my ear. I wonder what happened… The phone got cut off and I have not been able to contact Miss R after that. Whenever I call the phone I get the message “This number is currently switched off”

On a separate note, I heard that Miss R’s phone fell on the floor and broke into some 9 pieces. I wonder how a phone can just fall on the floor and break into so many pieces…

Hmmm… one of the mysteries of physical science, I guess!

:-S

A humble request, that backfired...

Now that the job scene is really really bad for MBAs, I decided not to wait for that coveted job that I expected to get from my school. Instead, I have started my search in earnest. Exactly a month back I sent the following mail to all my friends, hoping that they will forward my resume' to their companies. 

It's been an enormous success! I got one call, asking me if I was ever serious in life!

Hi

Its that time of the year when budding MBAs such as myself, with hunger and stars  in our eyes and a stomach to match, start sniffing around for the best den to creep into. With not having had my monthly intake, for almost one whole year, I am hungrier and meaner than ever! Only, this year when I went sniffing, I almost choked due to all the fire and carnage around me from all those burning businesses. All the ASatyams of the world had to find this one year to surface!!

Well, in these times of gloom when the world has gone BOOM , I have but one appeal to my friends – HELP

PFA my resume' for your reference (and also for your forwarding). Do send them to your companies and also to friends who might be able to help me out with my search to satisfy my hunger pangs. 

I'm looking for Project management, business analyst, business development, product management, delivery manager kind of roles... In short, I'm just short of hanging a board around my neck which proclaims "Will Work For Food" 

If any of my  readers take me seriously, id like to meet you. 

After this mail was sent out, I begged, pestered and provoked Jamshed V Rajan (Jammy) of OuchMyToe to take an interview of mine for Ibibo.com. After the 45 min interview, they have put me on hold. So if any of my readers try to call me, thats why my phone says its busy (not coz i dint pay my bill like some of you think)

BTW, did you know that my gtalk status says "You cant fool all the people all the time, but try me :)"?

:D

The LIP video...

This is a compilation I created from some of the pics I took during the Leadership, Influence and Power outbound we had recently :)

P.S: If you are not able to see this, please double click on the video to be taken to my Picassa site.

The Placement song...

Adapted from Jim Reeves Merry Christmas Polka

This is Placement season 

So there isn't any reason 

We can't prance the Placement polka...
Hear phone-bells ringing

Everybody's shouting, 

doing the GD polka...

Placement freeze and chaos 

Makes everyone so potty 

And gloom just fills the air...
It's a bloody screwed up time 

For a boy and a girl to get placed

While crying the Placement holler...

The scary Placement polka

Let's howl, let's scream, let's shriek...
Everyone's so snappy

The air is filled with dread...

Watch the sweet friends bluffing 

As they pace beneath the company logo
It's a sight to behold 

For the placed and the not-so-placed 

The meeeerrrrrry Placeeeement pooooolkaaaaaa...

:D

With age comes wisdom...

New year resolutions are a dime a dozen, I know. But not mine. Seriously. For one I don't make a dozen resolutions... not even thru the entire year. And secondly I'm very sincere about the resolutions I make. I make only those resolutions I can keep! 

You see, the problem with resolutions is that that they are generally something to do with making life better. And as we all know anything thats good for you turns out to be bad, which essentially means that they will be difficult to keep up. So the key is to make resolutions that do not fall under the categoy of goodness, life changing, health, etc.

Case in point. Last year I resolved to eat KFC every week of the year and let me tell you I've managed to not only keep up the resolution but have surpassed it by eating KFC atleast 2 times a week! Talk about determination and grit! See, anything is possible, IF you put your mind to it... trust me!

This new year I played a game on Facebook  - Know your Actual age. It had about 30 questions. So I bought out my stock of KFC and started filling the questionnaire. 

It had questions like:

"Do you take regular exercise?" Of course I do! I walk 200 meters to the college everyday... and back!!

"Do you eat out often?" Well, not really. I buy KFC stock for 2-3 days, which means I eat out only 2 times a week... when i go to buy KFC

"Do you have a healthy relation with your partner?" Damn right! She is rather healthy! And I take great pains to be away from her when she blows her steam.

"Do you believe in GOD?" Yes I do. But I dont know if the feelings are mutual.

At the end of 10 minutes I hit the submit button and prepared myself to be pleased to see some figure between 23-25 years. And after a short wait of 10-15 seconds when it did its jantar-mantar, it returned the magic number - 35 years!!

WHAT!!?? thats a good 6 years more than my real age! There must have been some mistake. And to be honest, I was not entirely honest. I did fudge some data when I came to "How often do you eat pre-cooked food?" I had said 7-8 times. But Maggie noodles is not really pre-cooked food is it?

I ran the test again, corrected some of these anomalies and again hit the submit button. It returned the question "Do you really want to go thru this torture again?" Ofcourse! It wont be torture this time! This time the real results would come. All data I entered was true to the best of my knowledge and all that. 

After the customary wait of 10-15 secs the results came. Where I expected a conservative number of 27-29, it returned 43 years!!

Dumb application! It was obviously flawed! How can anyone eating burgers filled with lettuce and tomatoes be called unhealthy. Ofcourse the burger does contain a few other substances like cheese and precooked meat and cheese.. but it also contains 1 lettuce leaf and one slice of tomato too!! Not to mention the bread... fried in oil. Doesn't that count for anything?? Isn't McDonalds a world famous food chain known for its highly efficient supply chain and processing capabilities?

But I'm not a guy who takes these things lightly you know. If there was a problem with my lifestyle that needed correction, thats what I'll do. I resolved then and there - "I shall visit the Gym everyday from today onwards"

True to my word I set out for the college gym later that evening. There was not a soul there. Sheesh... what is this world coming to? Here is a perfectly good gym funded by the college and no one seems to want to even make use of it to improve their health! People should learn from me! I entered the gym and looked around to familiarise myself of the surroundings. Pretty Impressive. They had many dumb bells of different sizes and some mats to lie on and an automatic treadmill etc. 

After 8 months of spending time here at Great Lakes, I had embarked on a new mission - understand how to use a treadmill! I gingerly got on to it and hit the start button. I expected it to start and go all the way upto my maximum speed which I calculated would be around 60 Km/hr. It dint move. I hit the start button again. Still nothing. The power switch was ON and so was the power itself, and yet the treadmill refused to budge. I reasoned it was an intelligent system which sensed a newbie. 

I got off the treadmill and moved on to conquer other bodybuilding tools. I started with one of them big dumbbells. The face of it was bigger than my the outstretched palm! Must have been some 10 Kg each! I picked it up and man it was heavy. I gave it a couple pumps and was exhasted. Man! What's the weight of these things? I searched and saw 1/2 Kg written on it. Must have been a typo. 

Anyway I went on for sometime and finally stopped after what seemed to be hours. I had done a good job, considering it was my first time in a gym. My muscles were already flexing and I was sure in a couple of days I would look as good and be as fit as Aamir Khan in Gajini! I turned to the clock to check how many hours I had been working out. It showed 17 mins since I started. The clock obviously was broken!

As I was basking in self glory, one of my classmates trotted in. He was in full exercise kit - shorts, T-shirt and even an arm band! Poor guy, what does he know! Hey, maybe I can give him a few pointers... after all, dint someone say "You enrich your own life by helping others"? 

Me: "Hey Dude..."

Mr C: "Georgie boy"

Me: "Come for some exercise eh?"

Mr C: "Yeah.. but what happened to you?"

Me: "What? Nothing! What made you say that?"

Mr C: "Well, you look like a wreck!!"

Me: "I was exercising!"

Mr C: "Oh... I see.."

Maybe he was too embarrassed to be around a pro, for he turned and I distinctly heard him cry and sniff... only, the cry part sounded more like a laugh... Well, to each his own, I say!

Me: "Dude, dont worry about this exercise thing... ask me if you need pointers"

Mr C: "Oh.. really? You'll help me kya?"

Me: "Sure! Why Not!"

Mr C: "Ok.. So what do I do?"

Me: "Now you want to start with these dumbbells here... but mind you, there is some typo in them. The one that says 1/2 kg is actually about 10 kg I reckon... maybe they meant to write 12 Kg and had a typo or something!"

Mr C: "No, thats actually a 1/2 Kg"

Me: "Dude! who is the Pro here?? Listen to more experienced ppl ok?"

Mr C: "Sure sir! anything you say"

Me: "Good. It would have been good to go on the treadmill, but it seems broken. Stupid college ppl wont fix it even. Ive told them a million times you know!"

Mr C: "Where is the key?"

Me: "What key?"

Mr C: "For the treadmill"

Me: "Dude.. there is no ignition or anything! It runs on electricity... You know, current and all that... There is a motor under it"

Mr C: "Ok..." 

I dunno why, but he went thru the crying bit again! Poor chap! He must be really embarrassed! And he had every right to be, if you ask me! After all, one doesn't get to ask these questions to a Pro like me every day right?

Me: "Dude dont cry... its fine... Look, though i have a distinct advantage over you, Ill let you in on a secret. Even with my fantastic physic, a facebook application pegged my age at 43! Ofcourse, its wrong about the age, but the point is, its never too late to start..."

I had been discoursing to him and he had been behind me all the time. I turned to see a horrific sight. Mr C had picked up one of those weight lifts, one much bigger than that 12 Kg one with the typo and started pumping in earnest. I tried to stop him, for he was a good friend... and I dint want him to hurt himself just because he compared himself to me!

Me: "Dude... stop it! You'll only hurt yourself if you try to emulate me so soon into the fitness regime!!"

Mr C: "Its OK Uncle... I've assimilated all that you told me... after all, I do respect my elders!!"

And then he went on to pump iron for some 2-3 hours (that too according to that broken clock!) and also went on to run on the treadmill after inserting a metal key into one of the slots that activated the machine... Somehow I get this weird feeling that he had been to the gym before... but I cannot say for sure!

As for my New Year resolution, I still follow it to the alphabet. 

I visit the gym everyday without fail!!!

:)

Misguided anger management...

She had a fierce look in her eyes and seemed very agitated. There were a just couple of people around her and as I approached, I could see them take cover. Small as she was (well, tiny is more like it), it did look as if she had grown about 4 feet now that she was ranting and raving, which bought her height at par with the rest of humanity. And with ppl all around her cowering in fear, I knew something had snapped. 

I could hear her loud and clear a good 100 feet away and the more I approached the epicenter, the louder and shriller it became. I now understood why there was so much commotion in front of the tea-shop. Basically, no one there could bear to go thru the pain of listening to her. People were rushing for cover, dogs were running hither and thither and I swear I saw the tree in front of the tea-shop droop in a matter of 2 minutes!

Her ravings went thus - 

"... such a lazy bum he is you know. I mean just look at him... wont even move his ass out of peoples way... Whatever happens in the world, does not seem to affect him... "

Man! She was mad.. as mad as a bull in a china shop. I figured was talking about her boy friend or something. Infact, I had seen this coming when a few days back I enquired her new year plans and she sadly told me that she is spending it in Chennai as her someone special is not in town. She is one person normally seen rushing off to Bangalore at the drop of a hat.

And here she was having had to spend her new year with Miss R and Miss D not to mention Mr G and Mr S... Yes, I can understand... anyone would be mad. But I wanted to caution her... the pain of going thru a new year like this wasn't going to go away by going hypersonic... 

I decided it was time to put an end to all the sufferings... after all, the lives of people around her were important. I gathered all the courage I could summon and went over to hr to try and reason with her... 

Me: "Dude, calm down"

Miss N: "Calm down? what's there to calm do...screeeeech"... and my glasses cracked!

She had gone hyper again... I decided to use another tactic

Me: "Listen, Its OK that you are feeling like this. I can see that you have gone thru a lot in the last 24 hrs"

Miss N: "You bet I have!"

Me: "So don't let it bother you and increase you BP"

Miss N: "Oh I'm not bothered about that!"

Me: "Eh? No? I thought you were upset about not being able to spend New year at Bangalore!"

Miss N: "Hell No! Infact I had lotsa fun right here!"

Me: "Oh! Really? Then why on earth are you making such a scene about your boyfriend in front of the entire tea shop?"

Miss N: "My boy friend? What's he got to do with this?"

Me: "Oh! I thought you were discussing about him... lazy bum and all that jazz..."

Miss N: "How dare you talk about him like that!" And immediately I knew it was my turn to take cover...

Me: "OK OK, calm down... So what were you talking about then?"

Miss N: "You see that dog lying on the street? Such a lazy bum he is you know. I mean just look at him... wont even move his ass out of peoples way... Whatever happens in the world, does not seem to affect him..."

Dogs! The greatest wars have been fought over them!!!

:-S

Dwarfed amongst Giants!

In the village there is an ominous whisper to be heard.. among the trees, among the gathered folk. “They” have landed…

Everything is still for a moment… then screams, confusion and mayhem rule the roost. The fort is sealed and doubled up with sentries. Every able bodied soldier is bought out into the fray to fight. The children are sent to the safe confines of the dungeons. If you listen carefully you can hear their muffled cries. And the frightened fort awaits… their DOOM…

Every ear is tuned to the familiar clickety-click of hoofs. Once they hear that, they know their end is but hours away… Eventually the worst is confirmed… “They” have reached the gates.

The fight ensues… The fort puts up a brave fight. Slowly but surely the defences fail, one after another. Then in one final blow the fort falls… The prince is bought to his knees. But “They” are merciful… ruthless, but merciful… “They” grant the prince his freedom in exchange for treasures and submission. Having ensured victory and collected their trophies, “They” ride out into the sunset… In their Black Stallions, their mind set on their next target… But none know who or where.. And this keeps the princes in the neighbouring counties guessing and confused… Awaiting their turn, unable to defend, unable to win…

Who are “They” you ask? Well, not the Norman conquerers. But close… “They” are conquerors alright! And “They” have been relentlessly at their task for some time now… Leaving behind death and destruction wherever “They” set foot.

“They” arrive in small groups… To fight for glory and fame. “They” are trained to feel no pain, to fight till their last drop of blood, to their last breath. To do or die… The strength that makes them such a formidable foe, a force to be reckoned with.

“They” bulldoze enemy lines, leave behind carnage. “They” Bring back gold, glory and trophies, encrusted in gold, silver and precious gems to their Alma Mater.

So, what does it feel to have the best of the breed in your midst? What does it feel to look up and see glory? What does it feel to stand along side Giants?

Ask me, and I shall tell you!  Ask me, and I shall tell you stories of their victories! Ask me, and I shall deliver the victory song, with the war cry and the dances.

Ask me, and I shall tell you what it feels to be DWARFED among GIANTS.

And I’m proud of being part of the clan…

To see full (and growing) list of their conquests click –>http://greatlakes.edu.in/studentAchievements.php 

Venucians!

Women have always had a special effect on me, generally good... and I in turn have had a special effect on them too and I can vouch that atleast sometimes its good... 

Such a special effect happened today evening right after I met up with Miss D.I and Mr H while on my quest for that elusive electrical shop.

I had parked my bike opposite Adayar Odyssey before i went to Spencers. After my shopping binge, I walked across to my bike. Just as I reached it, She came in her pink Scooty and parked in right next to mine. She had had her helmet on and had a shawl cover most of her face so as to protect it from the dust i reckon... 

I stood there next to my bike, fiddling with my set of keys... just waiting for her to take off her helmet... 

She took it off, and remover the shawl from her face... Her hair previously tied in a bun unravelled... It was like a beautiful cascading waterfall... and I stood there watching her... my mouth open... The most beautiful thing on planet earth had just descended from the heavens

Guys in the audience will agree with me when I say that you will have been away from your girl a bit too long when you find that ever other girl you meet is goddess Venus... and I guess I have been away a bit too too long.. so much so that I find that some of the girls in my class are remotely Venuses! Eyww!

Anyway, getting back to my Venus... I mean story... She had parked her bike a bit too close and when she saw my admiring her beauty (read staring at her) she mistook it (luckily for me) that I was waiting for her to move... 

The lady that she was, she immediately moved her Scooty a bit for me to go... I guess she dint find me as attractive... I took the hint and backed out my bike but not before thanking her for her kind gesture...

I was just about to leave, dejected, broken hearted, when it happened... My world shook... and it wasn't such a great thing either... I felt a hot burning pain shoot up my leg... I turned around and found my Lady in the pink Scooty fallen at my feet... literally... 

My first instinct was to pick her up and tell her she dosen't have to beg me to be her boyfriend (I was more than willing ;) ) but then I got back from cloud 9 to planet earth to realise that she had just fallen over... 

I showed true chivalry... even though I was about to fall over, I took it on myself to pick her up and her scooter all the while doing a balancing act lest I should fall over and meet my death at the oncoming traffic... but such mundane things dint matter... I was after-all helping a goddess... what more can a guy ask for... 

She got up, brushed herself and said sorry a thousand times... "I forgot that I din't put the side stand, I'm so sorry"

Being the gentleman that I am, I on my part brush away all that and said its fine and all that... after-all, I reasoned, it was my charm that had made her forget to put the stand... I am to be blamed I told myself... I half hoped she would tend to me as caringly as I had done with her... 

Well, that was not to be... all she did was pick up her stuff and walk across the road to the guy waiting for her (who I might add was laughing seeing all this, while it was I who helped her al all)... Women dont know whats good for them even if it hits them in the face!

Now, as I write this, Im nursing the wounds that I sustained in this entire debacle... I literally lost a hand and foot to that lady... 

:-S

Eyww...

So I had been out searching for an electrical shop today and ended up buying some unrelated stuff from Spencers. Just as I was entering Spencers I chanced to see Mr H and Miss D.I having a cake and eating it too... 

I walked up to them in the hope that I might be offered a piece of it but soon realised from Miss D.I how quickly someone could gobble up food when faced with and adversary such as myself...

Anyway, as soon as she was able to speak (for her mouth was full of the snack that she dint want to share with me, which gave her the look of a puffed up stuffed toy) she said:

D.I: "Hi Georgei.. "

Me: "Hi D.I, Hi H"

D.I: "So what are you doin here?" 

She had a sly smile on her face, which made me wonder if it was due to something she wanted to tell me or if it was something to do with the fact that she had just gobbled up some snack (without sharing with me BTW) that was caught in her throat!

Me: "Oh just like that... had a bit of shopping to do..." I replied innocently and honestly (2 qualities that abound in me as can be seen from this very admission...)

D.I: "Who are you with?" She said pointing at a couple of, well, not so impressive girls behind me

Me: "What?! Them? Eyww... No way! I'm here alone!"

D.I: "Really? Eyww? That too from you?" she replied again with that sly smile...

Me: "Dude... I might not be all that good looking but I do have my standards, y'know... I'll settle for lower... but should be atleast your level"

;)

The book (or post) of revelation...

This is one of three posts that I plan to put up today. (Note the italicised plan) You can find the other 2 here (blog 2) and here (blog 3)

This first one is kind of a revelation... like the one Jesus had when he entered the holy waters of the Jordan River for his baptism... (not that i had to wade thru any of the holy murky waters still logged in some areas of chennai after the rains last week)

But readers please don't misunderstand me when I say this... this is not some post that is any different from my others... meaning it does not deviate from my usual nonsensical self and say anything particularly pathbreaking... 

For the past few days I've been running from pillar to post (or more correctly junction to junction) in this great city of Chennai trying to locate a teeny weeny electrical shop! And I have given up... 

I declare - There are NO electrical shops in Chennai! Serious!

All you wanna be entrepreneurs - this is your chance... just share a bit of that profit you make with this poor blogger who is jobless and ends up writing these useless posts!!!

Rain Rain go away...

There are rains... and then there are RAINS!!!

RAINS is what we witness at channai for almost a week due to a cycloning depression in the Bay of Bengal. And to say that we were all in a state of great depression by the end of this ordeal will be putting it a bit too lightly!

Chennai had been inundated by incessant rains. By friday all the surrounding dams were so full of water that the govt. had no option but to open them and let the water out which meant that almost all the roads in chennai and especially the low lying areas witnessed floods. Infact the floods were so severe that the road ways were turned into waterways and the govt pressed inflatable motor boats in service along on the roads... Yes! thats right on the roads... to ferry stranded people to drier ground!

The scene in front of our college was so spectacular that it gave a different meaning to the name "Great Lakes"!

A few Pics...













 :-!

Singapore Incidents 3 - wet-wipes

She was visibly shaking... I knew it would be bad for her... I had told her so... and yet i guess she went ahead and did it anyway! Girls! They just don't listen to wisdom!

I took her aside and sat her down on a ledge... I could see her shiver... took off my jacket and offered it and she gladly accepted... 

Me: "I told you not to do it, dint I?"

Her: "But they forced me to.."

Me: "I'm sure you could have stood you ground... even though you are as light as a feather!"

Her: "But they dared me to..."

She was imploring for understanding... I could hear it in her voice... and as a friend, I had to deliver... but why did she have to get on that damned thing!

The reverse bungee thing was scary! More so because of the price (40 Sing $)! That apart, the thing shot you up in the air at 200 Kms/Hr, keep bouncing for God knows how long, twist and turns you 4-5 times... Your entire life flashes in front of our eyes...

Me: "Ok, calm down... its over now..."

Her: "Ya... thank god!"

Me: "But I'm really proud of you... you went thru all that ordeal and came out in one piece!" :)

Her: "Yeah Right! I wet my pants!"

Eewwww! Gross! And to think I was sitting near her, had my arms around her shoulder and even gave her my jacket! 

My first instinct was to withdraw my hand... But then I remembered Joey in F.R.I.E.N.D.S (Episode 4.01) when he said "That's right, I stepped up! She's my friend and she needed help! If I had too, I'd pee on any one of you!"

Likewise, She needed my help and support... even if she wet herself... 

Me: "Hmm... So do you wanna go back to the hotel and freshen up?"

Her: "No, its fine... it'll dry up soon enough!"

What! Sheesh... and I thought girls were a bit more concerned about their appearance etc etc... evidently not this girl... its almost like she is a guy... I always had my doubts... Hmmm...

Me: "Dude! thats really gross alright! I mean its understandable that you wet yourself cos you had to get on that bungee thingy, but not cleaning up after that is just BAD!"

Her: "WHAT! YUCK! what do you mean I wet myself??"

Me: "Well, you said it yourself! That you wet yourself!"

Her: "I did not! you are just making it up!"

Readers please Note: I have proof of that statement at the beginning of this blog... So im covered!

Me: "You did too! And come to think of it, I can now see that your pants are really wet! Chee..."

Her: "Dumbo! Mr A and the gang were playing near the open fountain and they pushed me into it and thats how my pants became wet! Sheesh... you are sick! And FYI I dint get on that bungee thing! Humph!!"

Me: "Oh! I thought... I mean... Dude... I'm Sorry... My mistake... I was only looking out for you..."

Her: "Hmmm... Its Ok..."

Me: "So, why dint you go on that bungee thingy?"

Her: "Oh! Thats not for me! Id be so scared that I would probably wet my pants!!"

P.S: FYI readers... I call her Miss Wetty Pants now... 

:D

The new RE Thunderbird Twin Spark

I am a BIG (literally and figuratively) fan of Royal Enfield (RE) bike. It has been a long held dream of mine to own an Electra 5S. But the initial cost has been holding me back. But looks like my wait is getting rewarded...

RE has been comming out with  lot of technological break thrus of late the latest one being the twin-spark engine Thunderbird. The thunderbird is the ONLY TRUE cruiser bike in India. Other wannabes like Yamaha Enticer and Bajaj Eliminator are a joke. Infact the only thing about those bikes are their looks, which again is not too enticing! 

The RE Thunderbird is different. Its a mean machine and handles the highways like a song. I once had the opportunity of riding it for around 1000 Kms and it felt.. Great! Liberating! Truly a marvel of engineering...

Check out the new RE twin spark here --> http://www.royalenfield.com/ThunderbirdTwinspark/home.html

Wasted...

Oh Man!!! what a day it was... 

I went to meet up with a few friends in the morning and got a blooming headache by afternoon. Slept thru the entire afternoon and evening... and now I'm up sitting here at 11:30PM not feeling the least sleepy... 

but still have a bit of that headache going though...

:|

165 X 1... Disaster!!!

Solve this riddle: What happens when you pit 165 of the best brains in the country against one of the best professors in the statistics? Who wins? The Prof or the students? After all, its 165 against 1. The odds for the students winning is almost a given. Ahh well, such a battle was played out at Great Lakes on Friday.

4 weeks into our course we had our first twin mid-term exams – Financial Accountancy and Statistics. First up was Financial Accountancy. It was challenging. 3 Qns, 1.5 hours. We came out of the exam hall all confused about the answers. 165 of us had 165 answers. Well, atleast we had answers!!!

Then after 2 hours of Macro Economics lecture, we went in for Statistics. Our professor Prof. Vishwanathan had told us it would be an open book – open laptop exam! Cool.. No need to study any formulae.. No need to do any revision... What more could we ask for... “This exam’s gonna be a breeze, man” I heard someone say...

Well, he could not have been farther from the truth. Prof. Vishwanathan projected on to the screen what he said was a “simple problem designed to challenge our minds”. That was the understatement of the year!!! Before we knew it, we were hit with one single problem which encompassed almost everything that was learnt so far in statistics. Decision Tree, normal distribution, MVP, etc, etc, etc...

By the time the stipulated half hour was over ( Prof. Vishwanathan even granted us 15 minutes over the limit), the entire class was in a kind if trance. Some we gawking around open mouthed, some were staring at the board with a lost expression, some were even crying... All-in-all, we were stumped!

Prof. Vishwanathan had, in his own simple and humbling way, shown all of us our rightful place. Hats Off!

---

For some reactions during and after the test, please see pics below. 

What?! Is that a question?

Eeehhhh.... {Drool}

Dude... I dont even know what that means!!

AAahhhhgggg..... I dont know what to do for the answer!!!

Boo hoo hoo... There goes my grades...

I've become defenseless

Everyone has their own way of facing sticky and life threatening situations. Some find an alternate route to circumvent the situation. Some face the issue. Some even put their lives at risk and show heroism. 

I for one don't do any of the above. :-S 

 I have 2 extremely effective ways of escaping a scary situation. 

1) Run away - the most effective. :) 

2) Use my head - literally...  i use my hair as a defensive weapon.

Yes, I have a Sai Baba style hair. And my hair is probably the coarsest on planet earth. In fact, my friends use it to scrub grime off soiled plates. It is so coarse that I have a special barber trained in the delicate art to cut my hair. And it takes special equipment too. Considering that my  hair is probably the hardest naturally occurring substance known to man, it takes a specialised lawn shear tipped with some space age materials to get the job done. 

Now that you have a background about my hair, whats the technique I use in the face of an attack? Well, id like to think that Zidane learned the art of head-butting from me. All I need to do is face a potential attacker, run at him and head-butt him while also scratching the very skin off the area in question by shaking my head. You get the idea right? almost like a porcupine in attack position... only I'm more effective.

Chennai being Chennai (hot and humid), I had expected my hair to become even more lethal. and I was banking heavily on this aspect to get thru life at this city. But a week from landing here and taking bath in the salty murky waters of Chennai, my hair has started to from coarse and powerful to soft and silky!!! So much so that if this level of degradation were to continue, ill be modeling (at-least my hair) for Sunsilk shampoo soon. 

And ive all but lost my defense weapon... rendering me virtually defenseless :(