The Placement song...

Adapted from Jim Reeves Merry Christmas Polka

This is Placement season 

So there isn't any reason 

We can't prance the Placement polka...
Hear phone-bells ringing

Everybody's shouting, 

doing the GD polka...

Placement freeze and chaos 

Makes everyone so potty 

And gloom just fills the air...
It's a bloody screwed up time 

For a boy and a girl to get placed

While crying the Placement holler...

The scary Placement polka

Let's howl, let's scream, let's shriek...
Everyone's so snappy

The air is filled with dread...

Watch the sweet friends bluffing 

As they pace beneath the company logo
It's a sight to behold 

For the placed and the not-so-placed 

The meeeerrrrrry Placeeeement pooooolkaaaaaa...

:D

Klarity is key

"Shoo Shoo"

We were in the middle of a class when she started this Shoo-ing business... 

I looked across to her, half expecting something out of loony tunes. I'd always thought of her as one of the characters of the show which came alive due to some hand of god - something like Daffy Duck. As usual she had her arms flying about as if swatting flies... but only this time the expected flies were not anywhere there...

The Prof went on "If you were given the choice of starting a business, what would it..."

"Shoo Shoo" 

Man.. She even cut the Prof short! I always knew she was a bit shushy in the head... but not to the extend of Shoo-ing when a Prof is speaking! And to top it off, she had both her arms waving about now... But where were the flies? What was she Shoo-ing at?

The Prof regained his composure after this moment's distraction and continued with the lecture. The class went on smoothy for some time after that (mainly due to the fact that Mr A and I had pinned her down) till just before the break the Prof again asked some question related to the subject.

I need to be blamed I guess, if you ask me... In a moment's weakness I let go of my iron grip on her and she shot up instantly 

"Sir Shoo"

There ought to be special institutions for such people is what I say. I mean, yes, we were due for a well deserved break, but that doesn't give you the right to go Shoo-ing every other person, let alone a Prof!

"Miss, is there something I can help you with?" I could see the restraint in his voice as our Prof tried to make sense of her behaviour. 

"Shoo Sir, Shoo"

Everyone in class, including the Prof, looked at her... scandalized... and I went down on my knees imploring "Why God? Why??"

At the rate at which she was Shoo-ing, she sure was on a sure shot way out of the college. 

"If you need a break, just tell me. Its not polite Shoo-ing people" and the Prof gave us a break.

I had a good mind to strangle her... what was her problem anyway! The way she was going about the whole thing was enough to make you think she was some wayside Jilebi seller in her pervious birth... or maybe that was what she was doing before joining our college and making like all Shooy for the rest of us!

"Dude! What's your damn problem? You cannot just go Shoo-ing Profs u'know??!!" 

"Oye! Get Lost! I'm not Shoo-ing him! Im telling him my business idea... I trying to tell him that I wanna start a Shoe Store!!"

That my friend, in a nut shell, is the ever effervescent Miss S! 

:-S

Headlines Today!

"WHAT!? WHY!? HOW!?"

"Eww... look at that!"

"Yuck! What a sight!"

"What's that sticking out of that thing!?"

"How can something so big and round be so sickening!?"

"Ohh... I think I'm gonna be sick!"

"Arrhh!... I think I'm having a heart attack..."

These were but some of the reactions I got when I went to class on the morning of 4th october, 2008... Now before you crazy heads out there think that I had something sticking out from somewhere let me tell me confirm I dint! (have it sticking out I mean!!)

Ahh! 3rd October, 2008! A day to remember! 2 Exams back-to-back, 3 case studies, 3 assignment submissions, 2 classes, 1 presentation preparation... all in the span of a mere 8 hours of college time... ofcourse for us students, it was a matter of days and days of preparation... not to mention sleepless nights... groups of 5-6 working together towards the common goal - Come out alive by the end of the day! 

Some one told me that day "George, 3rd October is one day we will never forget in our lives" True! We will never ever forget that day. Especially me... since 3rd October, THE most fantastic day yet in our MBA studies, also happened to be my Birthday!!! And what a way to celebrate the day!

The reason for the comments in the beginning were due to a fit of insanity I had after this day... What did I do? I went tonsured my head! I guess I was half expecting the barber fellow to slip and cut off my head in the process... but unluckily for me, he was a through professional... 

Now I've gone from Brahman to Bhrandan! (mad man) See pic below...

And my roommate Mr. Vivek also calls me "Shrek" now... and he also took a pic of mine to prove the point! Please see below!

:-S

Brahman to Bhrandan!

The Shrek Avatar

Singapore Incidents 3 - wet-wipes

She was visibly shaking... I knew it would be bad for her... I had told her so... and yet i guess she went ahead and did it anyway! Girls! They just don't listen to wisdom!

I took her aside and sat her down on a ledge... I could see her shiver... took off my jacket and offered it and she gladly accepted... 

Me: "I told you not to do it, dint I?"

Her: "But they forced me to.."

Me: "I'm sure you could have stood you ground... even though you are as light as a feather!"

Her: "But they dared me to..."

She was imploring for understanding... I could hear it in her voice... and as a friend, I had to deliver... but why did she have to get on that damned thing!

The reverse bungee thing was scary! More so because of the price (40 Sing $)! That apart, the thing shot you up in the air at 200 Kms/Hr, keep bouncing for God knows how long, twist and turns you 4-5 times... Your entire life flashes in front of our eyes...

Me: "Ok, calm down... its over now..."

Her: "Ya... thank god!"

Me: "But I'm really proud of you... you went thru all that ordeal and came out in one piece!" :)

Her: "Yeah Right! I wet my pants!"

Eewwww! Gross! And to think I was sitting near her, had my arms around her shoulder and even gave her my jacket! 

My first instinct was to withdraw my hand... But then I remembered Joey in F.R.I.E.N.D.S (Episode 4.01) when he said "That's right, I stepped up! She's my friend and she needed help! If I had too, I'd pee on any one of you!"

Likewise, She needed my help and support... even if she wet herself... 

Me: "Hmm... So do you wanna go back to the hotel and freshen up?"

Her: "No, its fine... it'll dry up soon enough!"

What! Sheesh... and I thought girls were a bit more concerned about their appearance etc etc... evidently not this girl... its almost like she is a guy... I always had my doubts... Hmmm...

Me: "Dude! thats really gross alright! I mean its understandable that you wet yourself cos you had to get on that bungee thingy, but not cleaning up after that is just BAD!"

Her: "WHAT! YUCK! what do you mean I wet myself??"

Me: "Well, you said it yourself! That you wet yourself!"

Her: "I did not! you are just making it up!"

Readers please Note: I have proof of that statement at the beginning of this blog... So im covered!

Me: "You did too! And come to think of it, I can now see that your pants are really wet! Chee..."

Her: "Dumbo! Mr A and the gang were playing near the open fountain and they pushed me into it and thats how my pants became wet! Sheesh... you are sick! And FYI I dint get on that bungee thing! Humph!!"

Me: "Oh! I thought... I mean... Dude... I'm Sorry... My mistake... I was only looking out for you..."

Her: "Hmmm... Its Ok..."

Me: "So, why dint you go on that bungee thingy?"

Her: "Oh! Thats not for me! Id be so scared that I would probably wet my pants!!"

P.S: FYI readers... I call her Miss Wetty Pants now... 

:D

LOVE is all around us...

At Great lakes we are privileged to have considerable time kept aside for LOVE. Oh Yeah! You heard that right… We have designated time set aside, that too with the permission of the management, for LOVE. It happens almost every Sunday (and sometimes on other days in the evenings) when a few of us get together for these amazing sessions. And frankly, its one of the most exciting times we have here. Yes it is!

But before your kinky dirty mind starts imagining all sorts of things let me tell you what LOVE means to us. Our Uncle Bala defines LOVE as Leveraging Our Varied Experience. In essence, it is about sharing information or knowledge that has been gained from all the years that we had been working, whether in IT or manufacturing or Banking or Shipping or Logistics or wherever. The sessions are run entirely by the current students for the students. It is a medium for spreading knowledge (to those who seek it). It is a medium for expanding horizons. It is a medium for incubating and sustaining interest in fields otherwise alien to us.

A few examples:

Abhimanyu Shandilya, a Lawyer and classmate, takes a course called “Law for Managers” on free Sundays. He basically introduces us to many of the intricacies that we as managers need to be aware of. Of course, we cannot obviously expect him to teach a 5 year course in a few hours. But he does lend us enough information on contracts and Indian law to help us be on our toes. It is one of the best LOVE sessions currently running on House-Full status at Great Lakes. Infact, Abhimanyu does such a good job that he can probably give our real professors a run for their money. I personally think he will be very successful if he ever thinks of getting into the education field.

The other LOVE session of interest is the one conduced by the Punter’s club where experienced investors like Umesh gives us novice investors gyan on how to beat the market using his Technical Analysis, Elliot Wave patters, Candle Sticks and Fibonacci series methods. Most of the analysis he did made a lot of sense and the proof was right there in front of us to see. He has managed a whopping 54% returns on the current bear market in under one month!! Now that’s true Experience!!

The Great Lakes management is really forward looking in this way. They believe that the students need to be part of the institution building and is willing to help us in any way possible in our endeavours.

We the students also take the opportunity extended to us and make use of it theLOVE way!!

A different kind of blast!

25th July, 2008 – Friday Evening.

7 BOMBS GO OFF IN BANGALORE
2 PEOPLE KILLER, 7 INJURED
THE IT CAPITAL TARGETED BY TERROR

These were the headlines that were flashing on the TV screens. I sat there biting my nails. Bangalore was a relatively safe city compared to other cities in India and with the best brains in the country making a beeline for the pink city, it was assumed that such incidents would not happen there.

My wife was at Bangalore and was to leave for our home town. After a million tries I got thru to her and to my relief she was fine.

The next day matters got worse...

AHMADABAD HIT BY SERIAL BLASTS
17 BOMBS GO OFF AT AHMADABAD
60 KILLED, 100s INJURED

Man, what's happening to this country? Bombs everywhere.

Another news the next day...

OVER 15 UNEXPLODED BOMBS LOCATED AT SURAT
NO CASUALITIES
POLICE DIFFUSE BOMBS

Oh good! Atleast they were diffused before they caused havoc.

Soon Monday rolled in and we were all in class. I saw a classmate, Miss N, who was in Bangalore over the weekend. I went upto her and enquired about the incident

Miss N: “Ohh Yeah! It happened quite far away from my place”
I sensed a tone of regret in her voice. Some ppl are just plain weird I guess... I mean who would want a bomb to go off next to your house?!

She continued “Anyway, nothing much happened because it was low intensity”

Me: “Thank goodness for that!”
“So, how was your weekend away?” I ask

Miss N: “Ohh! It was too good. I was at Bangalore and I had a BLAST!”

Well, Duuh!!

:-!

Whirrrr....

I know of these chinese stress buster toys that you throw on the wall and it starts howling in pain and vibrates. Its pretty funny and a true stress buster...

I have this friend at Great Lakes who is like that. No, she is not Chinese (though she is definitely the size of the toy!) but she does behave just like the toy...

All you need to do is to get Miss N going by saying something remotely funny, and for a good half hour she will be rolling in laughter, vibrating all the way... 

The good thing is you get a good massage just sitting next to her on a bench!

:)

Lateral thinking...

At Great Lakes we come across (thru Profs or thru cases) many innovative ways of doing business. We also come across many even more innovative answers... Miss 1984 gave such an innovative answer to a question today (albeit, only to me) that it left me laughing so much that I finally got stomach cramps!

Our IT for Managers Prof. Dr Sunil Rai told us of a real life sales situation today. The case goes like, a major retail chain in the US experimented by placing Beer bottle packs right next to baby diapers. To their surprise they found that the sales of the beer soared! Why? 

Many answers were shot out, most pretty standard... someone said it was because it was placed close to the exit... someone said it was because it was priced low... (incidentally, nothing like low price or proximity to exit was mentioned by Prof. Rai)

Well, the real answer, Prof Rai told us, was that when these guys come to pick up diapers for their babies, they invariably pickup a pack of beer (maybe to drown their sorrows in)...

Hearing the answer Miss 1984 quickly turned to me and said in a hushed voice "That is why, eh?? I thought the diaper was because they would wanna go pee pee after drinking the beer YA!!"

Now, THAT'S lateral thinking!!!

:)

The Bike Race

Those of you who read my previous post on my sporting capabilities will appreciate that im not too good at it... But you will also appreciate that i do not shy away from a challenge either :) In that same spirit, i entered a bike race while i was in college. 

I got my first bike just before i joined college as a gift from my mom for passing the Kerala entrance and securing admission in my college. So you can imagine how charged up i was when barely a few months from getting the bike i got the opportunity to showcase my driving skills. I spent days... nay, weeks day dreaming of utter glory. Unlike normal athletics where your muscles and stamina are tested, this did not require ay of that. all it required was driving skills and a good bike... 

And damn it! i had the best bike there was. A Yamaha RXZ. THE bike of the day. There was no other bike like that in college (Mine being a pretty small one at that!). I prepared hard for the race. Used to get up in the morning and go riding. I knew the grounds of my college and they were no mean feat. i reckoned it would be kinda cross country. And hence i drove the bike to Munnar dragging along sheer cliffs and jagged rocks. One mistake, and i wouldnt be here writing this blog. 

The D-Day arrived. I was ready. Clothed in racing helmets and jackets and gloves and trainers. I looked around to see the other participants either in regular jeans or in Mundu (Traditional Kerala attire)... Poor devils... they had no chance!

We got ready at the starting line. I was revving my engine. I cud see the ladies shouting and waving. Man! im gonna be smothered after i win this... and its gonna be a breeze. 

The whistle blew.... I zoomed ahead leaving the rest to eat my dust. Before i knew it, i was at the finish line. That was pretty short... just a 50 meter race. maybe it was a pure drag race... anyway it dint matter... i was first.. I turned back at the slow pokes... 

But why were they sooo slow? 

The surprise... the shame... The irony of it all!!! 

It was a Slow Bike Race... The LAST one across is FIRST!!! :-S