30!

OMG!!

30... and nothing to show for it... except a lot of fat, bad health and temper.

What a national waste!

The Dancing Queen...

Well, this just proves it, dosen't it? She IS my niece... Lil Baby Girl Nia...

And isnt she a natural... like a duck taking to water... just like me... (read all about my dancing skills here)

Life as I know it...

I wondered... How long since i have been around? I typed my DOB into WolfarmAlpha (which is a fantastic info portal BTW) and got this answer

Time difference from today (Sunday, September 20, 2009):

---

---

---

Well, apparently not too long ago eh?

Workaholics anonymous...

I was at Cochin yesterday on client calls when I got a call from one of the office numbers...

Me: "Hello"

Parvathy: "Hey, just called when I got some free time... 30 secs!"

Me: "Ok..."

Yes, thats right, I was confused... after all, Parvathy, my Programing Head, was supposed to be on leave and even so, why was she calling me?

Me: "What are you doing at office?"

Parvathy: "What do you mean 'what are you doing at office'! I told you I'd be coming"

Well, on the contrary, she had actually told me that she would NOT be coming... but what the hey!

Me: "Ok... So whats happening there?"

Parvathy: "Oh! Im so tired... So much work to do"

Me: "Ok.. then go home and enjoy your leave dude!"

Parvathy: "You know I cant... and since when have you started to call me 'dude' !"

You can make out just how much girls don't like something just by the tone of their voices... and yeah maybe we are not to call colleagues "dudes"

Me: "Err..."

Parvathy: "Don't 'Err' me ok? And don't forget... make sure you buy groceries when you return from office today... IF you want dinner!"

At once the detective in me woke up... I got this strong feeling that something was definitely not right...

Me: "Parvathy! This is George here!"

Parvathy: "What? George? Aaiiyyoooo.... I thought I was speaking to my husband!"

And she quickly hung up!

So, is there something like being too engrossed in work? Is there something like working too hard? Well, if there is, then the award definitely goes to Mrs Parvathy Nair!

You know you are working too hard when:

1) You go to office even when you are on leave...
2) You dial your colleague's number when you actually want to talk to your husband...
3) Having dialed the number you fail to realize the person on the other side is NOT your husband even after talking for 5 mins!!!

:-S

Theft... is the need of the hour!

So, after 2 long years i finally landed up at my home for this year's Onam yesterday. Ahhh... let me clarify... even though it sounds like i have led a nomadic life in the wilderness of the Himalayas or something, and ended up in me stumbling up in front of my parents one fine monsoon morning, this is not so much the case. I have been very much among civil society... well apparently!

Why 2 years? Well, last year i was whooping my a** at Great Lakes doing my MBA and the previous year my parents had deserted me for my sister! (there were visiting them during the time)

Anyway... I was so happy to be back home... especially since i have not had the chance to come here ever since i took up my current job... and to think, my parents stay jst 60Kms away! I was happy for 2 reasons 1) coz its just good to be home 2) I get to enjoy my Amma's fabulous dishes... so many of them... the curries, the Payasams etc...

I had told Amma to prepare all my favourite dishes and be ready for something like a raging bull thru a china shop... but i really dint expect to see what i saw.

If there is a competition for miniaturizing an Onam Sadhya, my Amma would have won it hands down... when i sat down to eat the sumptuous sadhya, all i got were 3 curries and that too rationed! Well probably she was tired and could not make many curries since we have very little help at home. I bit down on this bitter fact while biting down of some bitter gourd.

The high point of any sadhya is the very sweet and tasty Payasam. And as soon as i had finished my meager rationed Sadhya, i waited anticipatedly for the Payasam. I think i really had the look of a puppy waiting for its timely meals. I understood that coz the moment Amma gave me my share of Payasam, i let out a loud whimper...

Even the Payasam was rationed out!! I got probably 2 ml of the stuff... just enough to get a taste of it...

I protested... vehemently... and just as vehemently Amma shot down my protest with one little word "Price Rise"... Ok 2 little words... but you get the point...

Anyway... I plan to do the unthinkable today... I need my fair share of Payasam,... inflation be damned! Im gonna raid the fridge tonight...

In the good old days a hungry, starving guy had to only steal from the local khiranan shop... but what a world we are in when a guy has to steal from his own house just to eat!!!

:-S

Sight and Vision are so very different...

It is not often that we come across a personality who, after a brief interaction, impresses and affects your life in a profound manner. I had one such encounter yesterday (07th June, 2009) when I met Sabriye Tenberken (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tibetan_braille) . I met her at the Radio Play hosted by the International Institute of Social Entrepreneurship (IISE) for which I got an invitation since I am part of the radio business .

When Mr. Rajesh, the manager of the institute, sent me an invitation, I did not know anything about this. I thought it was a function at a blind school discussing the importance of radio for the visually impaired. Also, I like volunteering and hence thought it would be a chance for me to get involved. So with these thoughts in mind I traveled to the location of the institute. The road to the institute was a winding one, full of twists and turns and roads leading left and right. The more I traveled the more I was convinced that it was a blind school for children with visual impairment.

I could not have been more wrong. The gates opened onto a sprawling 2.5 acre campus which had a total of 5 buildings overlooking a the serene waters of the Vellayani Lake. All the buildings are state-of-the-art and completely eco friendly. The campus can house a total of 45 students who are given training for an entire year during which they learn the nuances of running a business and becoming independent for life.

And all this was possible due to the hard work and determination of one woman. She is a Nobel Peace Prize nominee, a recipient of the Mother Theresa Award, and TV host Oprah Winfrey’s choice of “Eight Women Oprah wants you to know”. Her vision is to remove the taboos that are associated with any sort of handicap. She believes, and rightly so, that each of us are capable of changing the world and making it a better place to be in one small step at a time. The institute shouts its mission statement in everything it does “Do you have to have vision to be a visionary?” and it proves with equal fervor that vision need not be a hindrance to human development in any way!

Not only the IISE, but she has also built schools in Tibet, where she also helped to develop Braille script in the Tibetan language. This was in 1992 made the official Braille script for the nation. Apart from this she also swims, opens schools, learns new languages, uses a laptop, rides horses and also climbed upto the base camp of Mount Everest. So, what’s so great in doing all this? Nothing, except that she has been completely blind since the age of 12 due to a retinal disease!!

The passion with which she spoke to the audience… the passion with which she interacted with each and every one of the guests present yesterday… the passion with which she carries the light of her vision aloft… it is something that needs to be seen and experienced.

So, how were the Radio Plays that I had gone to listen to in the first place? They were OUTSTANDING!!! I listened in awe as the 5 plays filled the room with emotions and zeal. They were very proffesionalyy done by teams of 4 visually impaired participants. Over a 7 week period, they mastered the techniques of story, scripting, casting, recording, editing etc. And came out with works of art that truly deserve a larger audience. The topics selected were relevant and heatfelt. The execution was proffesional and the final outcome were 5 plays that the institute can be truely proud of. I felt humbled by the creativity shown by the participants. Each of the plays was better than the other in one aspect or the other. And it was so wonderful seeing the smiles on the faces of each of the participants... the happiness in what they were able to achieve in the short span of time alloted.

The world really needs more visionaries like Sabriye. And I wish her all the very best and heartfelt prayers in all the endeavors that she takes up.

(Please go thru the link, you will be as impressed as I was)

OOH is not just a media problem!!

I work for a media company now (BIG 92.7 FM part of the Reliance ADA group; 45 stations across India) as Station Head for Trivandrum. I head the Kerala Market... essentially because there are no other BIG FM stations in the state which means I take care of the entire state, as far as BIG FM is concerned that is (Dont blame me for the sorry state of affairs there otherwise)!
I joined the company on the 4th of May, 2009 and ever since have been on a whirlwind tour of the length and breadth of India... Readers dont mistake me, its not that I'm an important Jet Setter in the company... its just that I have been booted from place to place on the excuse of training me. This ass-kicking took me to Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore and finally to Trivandrum.

Anyway, part of the groups business is OOH media... expanded, it is Out Of Home. Meaning, all those hoeardings that you see at junctions, Malls, Buses, Metros etc. the BIG company (on many levels!) has many of these assests that we rent out. (For advistising please contact me at 9020680385 :) ) Well its not easy business. With so many players in the business, its cut throat competition.

So, anyway when I reached Bangalore after 2 weeks on the road (literally!) I went on a shopping spree! I went to all those stores in Bangalore which screamed 60% OFF!! Even at those prices, most of the clothes were out my reach and having just spent a year doing my MBA and not earning did not help matters at all either! All the same, I managed to grab hold of my bag full of 1 Rupee coins and heaved it to the shop.

My friend who was with me all the time was obviously impressed with my high speed purchasing rampage. I was like a Rhino in a China shop! Or rather like a star crazy girl when her hearthrob hero enters the room... I bought everything from shirts to trousers to socks to undergarments! After doing this over quite a few shops and maxing out his credit card, he took me aside and councelled me, "Dude... slow down. These shopd will be here later too. You can buy all these clothes after you get your first months salary too! And since when did you start getting so finiky about the clothes you wear? From what I know of you, you wear just about any old rag that covers you!!"

"Dude..." I whispered, "Dont tell anyone, but this is what happens if you are OOH for 2 weeks at a stretch... laundry not done!!"

:-S

Quirky Questions...

March 15^th is a hectic day for almost all students at Great Lakes. I would say the MOST hectic day! This is the day when many of us start and finish the yearlong empirical research study that we have to do at Great Lakes. I say almost all because those of us doing their research under the guidance of Prof. Venkat and Prof. Zubin have already finished the research well in advance (I believe some 3 months back… Sheeshh!!!). The rest of us, mortals, are still in the fray for the consolation prizes – meaning grades other than A!

When it comes to empirical study, there are all sorts in our class. Some of them (the like of ppl described above) are serious, deliberate and studious. Some do it for the all-important grades. Some do it because they have to inorder to graduate. Some… don’t do it! Ofcourse, this “Won’t do it” attitude is only till the last day for if we don’t submit our study, which amounts to 2 credits, we get an “F” grade. Which essentially means that our MBA does a double flip on its heels and then we can kiss it goodbye!

It was in this context that I gave a frantic call to Miss R. She is one of those “model” students, the pet of the Prof. and all in all a complete crackpot! (BTW, her study has been accepted at the ASAC Conference, Canada and she has promised me a suitcase full of chocolates when she returns. There Miss R, no escaping now!!).

Coming back to the topic, this how our conversation went:

Date and Time: 15^th March, 2009. 5:30 AM

“Tring Tring” (Phone rings, and after a persistent 7-8 rings it is picked up)

Miss R: “Hello George. What is it NOW!!??”

Well, you gotta hand it to her. She had been extremely calm considering I had been incessantly calling her and asking her for advice on the empirical study from day one. And this call was at an unearthly hour (I don’t care what Prof. Venkat says, I still maintain that 3-6 AM is as unearthly as they come).

Me: Heave Ho, Huff and Puff

Miss R: “George! Behave yourself! You should not wake a girl up at this hour and spray her with sleazy noises! Infact you should not call a girl up at any time and make sleazy noises! Shame on you!”

Well, she had a point. It is not gentlemanly to call a girl at unearthly in the first place and then to treat her to weird noises was worse! But honestly, I wasn’t trying any thing sleazy… it’s just the way I am!

Me: Croak and Cough

Miss R: “George! What’s the matter with you!!?? Have you turned into a frog or warthog or something? Not that it makes much of a difference!”

Again she had a point. I wonder if I should rethink about her being a crackpot… she was making perfect sense till now.

I finally found my voice

Me: “R… help… please…”

Miss R: “Get a grip on yourself dude! I know its something silly to do with the empirical study… Whats the problem?”

Silly?? Well, excuse me! Me no model student, but I do ask smart questions too y’know! Like the other day when one of our Profs was explaining the concept of Theory of Constraints, I asked a question that let even the Prof dumbfounded and open-mouthed… I asked. “Sir, if inventory pileup is the biggest enemy to any plant, then isn’t the best solution not to manufacture any inventory at all? Just manufacture the end product!” Well, there you have it! Perfect solution to your problems, GM and Ford. Maybe I ought to become an operations consultant… if Goldrat can do it, so can I… So there!!.

Me: Whining and Wheezing

Miss R: “Let me know when you stop making stupid noises! Ill wait”

Patience, thy name is Miss R!

Me: “R… not noises… no breath… going black all over… verge of death…”

Miss R: “Really? What a shame! I was gonna invite you over to finish the last 4 pieces of KFC that I bought yesterday! Now, ill just have to throw it away!”

Me: “KFC? Ill be over in a jiffy! Why dint you say so in the beginning? I thought I smelt KFC when I was passing by your place yesterday!! (Yes, I have a very developed olfactory sense, especially when it comes to KFC… Its one of my strengths!) And don’t say that you throw it away in front of it… KFC also has feelings you know… Don’t be so cruel to the poor thing even though it has been deep fried in boiling oil!”

Miss R: “So… you are not dying, is it? Hmmm…”

Me: “Errr…”

Miss R: “I thought so! Now tell what is the problem?”

Me: “Well, you see I have the most important question to ask you about the empirical study”

Miss R: “Yes, you really need to write more than 5 sentences.” She pre-empted…

Proves that she does not know me at all, doesn’t it? Obviously I had more that just 5 lines! I had close to 7 that too excluding the name of the study and all such jazz!

Me: “Ha! Gotcha! I have more than 5 sentences” :-P

Its after I did that anteater impression that I realized that she could not see the sarcastic look on my face… I let it go. No point in bringing it up to be just snubbed!

Miss R: “Woow! You really exceeded my wildest expectations!”

Me: “Dangzz J”

Miss R: “BTW, you still haven’t told me why you woke me up from my slumber. As it is, I slept late yesterday”

Me: “Really? You too? Well me too… infact I haven’t slept at all. I was too busy with my empirical study. I swear, writing this stuff is hard work, don’t you think so? I mean, I was...”

Pity she cut me off right there… I could have told her a whole story of my experiments with the truth! (No! Its not something kinky, you dirty minded freak!!) But unlike the Mahatma I dint really have a revolution to make the entire thing really damn exciting and make a book of it…

Miss R: “George!!! If you have nothing other that blabbering and making confounded noises, both of which are synonymous by the way, ill go back to my sweet sleep…”

Me: “No No… pls I need your help”

Miss R: “Then tell me what your problem is you silly ass!”

I was hurt… really… Miss P says I’m more of a penguin… And I haven’t yet refuted her… maybe it’s the way I walk! And ofcourse the fact that I’m blacker than a dirty, unpolished diamond… a diamond all the same ;-)

Me: “I have the most important question about the study, with out the answer to which I wont be able to submit my study at all!!”

Miss R: “So tell me already! You sound more like a broken record saying the same thing over and over again! You have been torturing me over the phone for the last 10 mins and disturbed my sleep and giving me a damn headache!”

I could see that she was getting a bit ex..., what’s the word… excited? No exasperated… yes that’s the word. But me torturing? I always thought my croaky voice had quite a soothing effect on ppl!

Me: “Ok Ok.. hold on to your horses… Sheeshh… its not as if you were doing anything important right?”

Miss R: “AaArrrrghhhhh!!!”

Me: “Hey! Don’t butt in when I’m trying to ask you the question! Then you’ll come back and tell me I was not asking the question too… Seriously dude! You need to make up your mind!”

Miss R: “GEORGE!!!!!!”

Me: “Ok, hey tell me… What should the font size be?”

There was a loud bang and it is still ringing in my ear. I wonder what happened… The phone got cut off and I have not been able to contact Miss R after that. Whenever I call the phone I get the message “This number is currently switched off”

On a separate note, I heard that Miss R’s phone fell on the floor and broke into some 9 pieces. I wonder how a phone can just fall on the floor and break into so many pieces…

Hmmm… one of the mysteries of physical science, I guess!

:-S

Ive lost it!

Ive lost the gift! I dont seem to be able to write anything funny anymore. Insanity was my forte' but now im all an abyss of gloom...

I hope its temporary

:-(

A humble request, that backfired...

Now that the job scene is really really bad for MBAs, I decided not to wait for that coveted job that I expected to get from my school. Instead, I have started my search in earnest. Exactly a month back I sent the following mail to all my friends, hoping that they will forward my resume' to their companies. 

It's been an enormous success! I got one call, asking me if I was ever serious in life!

Hi

Its that time of the year when budding MBAs such as myself, with hunger and stars  in our eyes and a stomach to match, start sniffing around for the best den to creep into. With not having had my monthly intake, for almost one whole year, I am hungrier and meaner than ever! Only, this year when I went sniffing, I almost choked due to all the fire and carnage around me from all those burning businesses. All the ASatyams of the world had to find this one year to surface!!

Well, in these times of gloom when the world has gone BOOM , I have but one appeal to my friends – HELP

PFA my resume' for your reference (and also for your forwarding). Do send them to your companies and also to friends who might be able to help me out with my search to satisfy my hunger pangs. 

I'm looking for Project management, business analyst, business development, product management, delivery manager kind of roles... In short, I'm just short of hanging a board around my neck which proclaims "Will Work For Food" 

If any of my  readers take me seriously, id like to meet you. 

After this mail was sent out, I begged, pestered and provoked Jamshed V Rajan (Jammy) of OuchMyToe to take an interview of mine for Ibibo.com. After the 45 min interview, they have put me on hold. So if any of my readers try to call me, thats why my phone says its busy (not coz i dint pay my bill like some of you think)

BTW, did you know that my gtalk status says "You cant fool all the people all the time, but try me :)"?

:D

15 Myths about Open Source Software

I had compiled this 15 myths about Open Source Software for my reserch paper - OSS in India, A SWOT analysis. But my coz bro told me to remove it as it did not give an independent objective view. So here it is, I dint want all that writing to go waste!! :)

15 Myths of Open Sourcing Software

Due mostly to its differentiated style of development, Open Source lends itself to a lot of doubts, queries and myths on the minds of people introduced to the concept. Most often than not, these myths tend to be the reason why Open Source is not understood well. Of course, the myths remain myths for those Open Source projects that strictly and religiously follow the tenets and principles of Open Source Software development. In those cases where these are not followed, many of the myths sadly turn into reality. Listed below are 15 myths that we came across while doing the study and clarifications for the same. 

    1)    Community consists of all developers – People generally tend to associate Open Source communities to a group of hardcore developers working on the next big thing. While this is a perception that has undergone a sea of change, it has not been addressed fully. Open source communities are not exclusively developers. There are a many communities where the contributors are general users of the software and many of them have nothing to do with writing code. But these contributors are extremely useful all the same. They help in identifying, reviewing and clarifying requirements. Some of them offer to be alpha or beta testers of the product. In many cases they help in driving the community to develop better and more versatile applications. They represent the face of the customer and are instrumental in lending a direction to the development of software. In reality, it's generally very, very difficult to fix real bugs in anything but the most trivial Open Source software. Most of the time, what really happens is that you tell the actual programmer about the problem and wait and see if he/she fixes it. Most people do not participate in the development - even for Linux itself, most of the development is done by a very small number of people

     2)    Open Source development gives complete access to code – One of the bones of contention for many companies and developers is that Open Source Software is basically what it says it is – Open Source. Companies and individuals fear that if the code is open, then they are vulnerable to all sorts of threats like security, theft etc. But what they don’t realize is that not all Open Source companies have a complete set of open files. There are business models that allow companies to open some of the code for peer review and development and at the same time have other enterprise versions to be closed and restricted. While the free version of the software can be open source and subject to change and development by the community members, the company that develop the enterprise version can keep the code closed and away from scrutiny. While this might be a bit away from the central idea of Open Source, it is just another way of monetizing software development.

     3)    Data and source security is compromised – Open Source Software certainly does have the potential to be more secure than its closed source counterpart. But simply being open source is no guarantee of security. For those new to security, the idea that the best way to keep something safe is to hide it. This idea is known by experts as security through obscurity, and is generally discredited. Probably the greatest reason that security through obscurity doesn’t work when it comes to code is that, if security is breached, you have no way of knowing what has happened. By contrast, if the code is open to anyone to read, then the odds are that the insecure elements will be detected and corrected. Since what you want to protect is the information, not the technique used to protect it, according to most security experts, OSS tends to be more secure than proprietary software. Two main claims made by proprietary vendors: (1) that release of code benefits attackers more than anyone else because a lot of hostile eyes can also look at open-source code, and that (2) a few expert eyes are better than several random ones. Of course, because bug detection is public, detractors can say that OSS is buggier than proprietary software. However, because we have no way of knowing how many bugs in proprietary software go unfixed or unnoticed, the number of reported bugs is not a reliable measure of security. Whitfield Diffie, the co-inventor of public-key cryptography and chief security officer and senior staff engineer at Sun Microsystems, notes “It's simply unrealistic to depend on secrecy for security in computer software. You may be able to keep the exact workings of the program out of general circulation, but can you prevent the code from being reverse-engineered by serious opponents? Probably not.” Open source software projects can be more secure than closed source projects. However, the very things that can make open source programs secure -- the availability of the source code, and the fact that large numbers of users are available to look for and fix security holes can also lull people into a false sense of security

    4)    Open Source Software development exploits people – The Open Source development community consists of a group of people who come together to develop better quality software. This community could consist of developers, testers and end users of the software. Most often than not there is no monetary compensation to the work done and people volunteer to work for free. This leads to a lot of proprietary companies and competitors of the Open Source Company to level charges of exploitation of the volunteers to produce software for the company to profit on. But the very fact that community members volunteer to be part of the process negates this argument. Though there might not be a direct monetary compensation to the contributors, there are other benefits that keep the community together. Many times the developers will find other ways to monetize the work they do. They could take the code they worked on and use it in other areas that provide them with monetary benefits. Many of the communities work by motivating and encouraging its contributors by sending them gifts and freebees like memberships and free access to road shows, conferences etc. Apart from this, they are also compensated in terms of the recognition they get among their peer group for the work that they do. The basic law that says that nothing in this world comes for free is true in the case of Open Source Software development too. The key contributors to most open source projects today are a mix of university researchers, developers internal to companies who use that particular open source package in their work, independent consultants who profit from the increased visibility their participation brings them, and developers sponsored by companies who have identified a clear revenue stream associated with that project.

     5)    Open Source Software is better than proprietary closed software – There is a growing feeling that tinkering with Open Source Software code by community members leads to better software. This is not necessarily true. If the project that the team is working on is not controlled and managed properly, then the software that is developed need not be better than a proprietary product that has been executed properly. There have been many instances where mission of the community, documentation on project, code collaboration etc is not communicated properly to the members and this leads to the project getting executed in an inferior way. This also leads to a lot of dissonance among the community members and ultimately the demise of the community. This leads to the fact that Open Source Software projects are not always a success. Software experts and researchers who are not convinced by open source’s ability to produce quality systems identify the unclear process, the late defect discovery and the lack of any empirical evidence as the most important problems. While many Open Source projects are superior to their close-source counterparts, it's also true to say that a closed-source approach to a problem can have some benefits. Some of these benefits include having a more focused direction for the team, given the fact that there is just one manager and team leader, firmer schedules and deadlines, tighter management, profit incentives, salaries and bonus motivations. While this can also be true for open source projects, the "design by committee" that goes on with community projects often results in a more bloated and less focused product that tries to be all things to all people. Sometimes a simple lack of funds on the part of the developer can hamper the development.

     6)    More is better – Open Source Software development opens up the opportunity for contributors to incubate and develop a plethora of applications and features that can be add-ons to the original software. This is something that Open Source Software development does very well. Most of the time these features tend ot be personal pain points of the developer and might not really be of use to many others. The 80/20 rule becomes very relevant here, that only 20% of features are used by 80% of the users. While this might seem like a good thing at first, it could also be argued that eventually trying to reduce the choice somewhat for the end-user would also be beneficial. Reducing the choices would reduce the bloat and clutter that tends to overtake the project. Choice is good, but a reasonable pre-selection of options is better for the end user. Most users want their applications to be simple, straightforward and light.

     7)    Open Source Software development leads to interoperability issues – The Open Solutions Alliance (OSA), a nonprofit, vendor-neutral consortium dedicated to driving interoperability and adoption of comprehensive open solutions, after meeting with more than 100 customers in five cities throughout the United States and Europe, found that interoperability between open solutions tops the list of requirements among customers and channel partners who are deploying these solutions. Interoperability is a challenge among both large and small organizations. Key issues with small organizations include single sign-on and authorization, data integration and synchronization, UI and portal integration, and content management integration. In addition to these, larger enterprises also had 
business process integration, production management, and legacy/proprietary integration as key issues. Across the board, non-technical interoperability issues, such as how to support and manage integrated solutions being sourced from multiple vendors are seen as pain points. Interoperability between Open Source and proprietary software is often a catch22 situation. It is simply not possible to isolate both. There is not software that is 100% free of either Open Source or Closed Source. A 2006 Forrester study showed 75% of large businesses surveyed were either using or planning to use open source software up from 60% the year before. There’s also Gartner’s prediction of 90% open source adoption in enterprise software development businesses by 2012. Interoperability used to be a major problem during the early days of Open Source Software development. But the Internet has provided a forum for thriving virtual software development community and they have been working diligently to solve interoperability issues through the consensus specification of open interfaces and encoding. Since these specifications are new to the industry, open source products are in a position to compete on an even playing field with commercial alternatives.

     8)    Open Source Software throws Intellectual Property out of the window – A license defines the rights and obligations that a licensor grants to a licensee. Open Source licenses grant licensees the right to copy, modify and redistribute source code (or content). These licenses may also impose obligations. What the author/licensor is granting when they grant a license to copy, modify and redistribute their work is the right to use the author’s copyrights. The author still retains ownership of those copyrights; the licensee simply is allowed to use those rights, as granted in the license, so long as they maintain the obligations of the license. The proliferation of open source licenses is one of the few negative aspects of the open source movement because it is often difficult to understand the legal implications of the differences between licenses. An important legal milestone for the open source was passed in 2008, when the US federal appeals court ruled that Open Source licenses definitely do set legally binding conditions on the use of copyrighted work, and they are therefore enforceable under existing copyright law. As a result, if end-users do violate the licensing conditions, their license disappears, meaning they are infringing copyright. The typical open source project is a grass-roots effort that contains contributions from many people. This method of development can be worrisome from an intellectual property standpoint because it creates multiple opportunities for contributors to introduce infringing code and makes it almost impossible to audit the entire code base. The risks of this development process are largely borne by the licensees. It’s a legal minefield. But many companies do clean implementations for their enterprise editions and make sure that none of the IPs is violated. As for the Open Source versions, they make sure that the contributor is duly referenced so that the violations does not reflect on the parent company. In many cases the violations are not serious enough to warrant a legal penalty, but in case it is, the licensing model of Open Source is such that the contributor is protected to a certain extent. Also, the community generally comes together to help out any such violations. It's true that software that incorporates other GPL-based software must be provided under the same terms--this is its so-called "viral" characteristic. However, even GPL'd software can be used freely. Open Source is about internet-enabled collaboration. Licenses play a role only to the extent that they set out rules designed to make sure that companies don't undermine the playing field.

    9)    Creating and maintaining a community is easy – Contrary to popular belief, creating and maintaining a community is not an easy task. Communities are created when a group of likeminded individuals get together to achieve a common goal such as commonly contributing to a project, improving the code base or develop faster and better code. What community members look for is recognition for the work they do and a sense of belonging to a group that is making a difference. Thus, maintaining the motivation levels of the community while pleasing the individual members are an art in itself that community managers have to perfect. Most of the time community managers spend close to 75% of their time on resolving issues and clarifying questions. Community managers have to make sure that they preserve the culture of the community as it grows. They also need to make sure that they weed out elements that are not contributing to the growth of the community. Communication is the key among other things.

     10) Cannot profit from open source – The underlying argument here is that Open Source Software is not all free. It is true that open source software will reduce the amount of money that is spent on existing commercial software. The Internet, a disruptive technology based on open standards and open source software, has created huge new markets away from the software. And there are many different ways to profit from Open Source Software development. As explained earlier, there are many different ways to monetize the efforts put into Open Source development some of which are Services, Loss-Leader markets creation, Dual licensing, proprietary up selling etc. And there are many companies who are thriving on a variety of these models while remaining Open Source companies. The benefits of open source are exactly the same as the benefits of any other free market: competition between multiple suppliers results in lower prices, more innovation, and specialization to meet the needs of new niches. Open source isn't just something that matters to computer software vendors. It's a way to provide better services to your internal users and to your customers, by applying techniques of networked collaboration.

     11) It is easy to setup communities anywhere in the world – It is expected that human beings being social by nature would be able to work together if goals are set properly. But it is found that this is seldom true. In the case of Open Source Software, there is a definite difficulty that s faced when trying to setup communities. In most cases the issue is more to do with culture and maturity than anything else. For instance in Asian countries where the culture of freely giving to society is lacking communitite do not seem to be able to progress beyond a few dedicated members. In these countries, the idea of a company gaining freely from their hard work is something that cannot be accepted. Likewise many of these countries do not have a robust higher education system that fosters Open Source development. This leads to a lot of engineers who are not corporate ready. A lot of post college training needs to be imparted to these students to come up to speed in doing work.

    12) Open source software is cheaper than closed proprietary software – The often-repeated line is that companies that cant afford commercial software buy Open Source Software. But studies have shown that this is seldom the case. Many a times Open Source Software costs just as much to buy as do commercial closed source software. This is because most of the time the enterprise version of the Open Source Software would be developed in-house and thus would be expensive to produce even though the development is overseen using the Open Source development methodology. If this is the case, then why are businesses buying Open Source Software? There are multiple reasons: 1) Open Source Software development model is such that bugs in the system are few in number. This is precisely the reason why over a period of time the cost of maintaining Open Source Software is low. 2) Due to the collaborative mode of software development, the number of critical flaws in the software is few, which adds to further savings to the customer in terms of security and downtime. 3) Also since the Open Source engagements start from design phase itself, the cost of up gradation and adding features would be low since this would have been factored in during design stage itself if a good Open Source vendor is doing the development.

     13) Open Source Software companies do not support software once sold – There are many companies proving products and services in the Open Source space and virtually all of them provide after sales service to their clients. The difference is between the free versions available and the enterprise solutions. Most often than not, service for the free trial versions are limited and where available will be restricted to communities fixing the bugs, email support or on a do-it-yourself mode. But there are the standard and non-standard ways of service level agreements for enterprise solutions and paid solutions. These are not very different from proprietary closed source SLAs. For instance, all the standard SLAs like 24X7 support, 12X5 support, patch releases, severity level support, maintenance, backups, upgrades, performance improvements etc are provided. Apart from this there are 3rd party companies supporting Open Source Software which happens to be the non-standard method of supporting the code base.

     14) Open Source = Open Standards – Open Source is not synonymous to Open Standards, though many times they are confused for each other. Open Source is merely a development model. It does not mean it incorporates the best practices like Open Standards. While open source development encourages the use of open standards and protocols for interoperability, it does not guarantee software development best practices. It doesn't guarantee interoperability or security, although it sure makes them easier to implement.

     15) Open source carries a greater risk of abandonment/obsolescence – Open Source Software is developed by a group of passionate individuals who volunteer to work on the project because it is important to them in some way or the other. This leads us to believe that if the interest cannot be maintained, then the project risks loosing steam and might be abandoned. In reality, maintenance/evolution of the software is distributed rather than centralized, engaging the diverse skills and talents of many contributors. Peer review reinforces the need to follow accepted standards and practices. This means that even if some people or even the founder leaves the community, there will be a stream of interested people who might feel the importance and need to be associated with the project. Of course, this also means that the documentation in the project needs to be done diligently so that others can carry on with the work that has been put in by previous contributors. Obsolesce is rarely and issue since Open Source development takes place on a continual and ongoing basis with contributors involving in the project to make a difference and develop something latest and useful.

The Spirit of Great Lakes!

Are heroes born? Or do they take form when they are most needed? History seems to prove its the latter. There are times when adversities bring out the best in people, times when personal priorities take a back seat and people come together for a cause they feel is important to them. 13th February was one such life changing day for the 162 students and the 20 odd staff at Great Lakes.

The present campus of Great lakes is located at the upmarket Saidapet Colony in Chennai. Serving the needs of the colony are a group of 10 families living in 1 roomed thatched shacks adjacent to the main colony. The men folk of the slum either work in construction sites or are auto drivers and the women folk work as housemaids in the upscale houses of the colony. These are people who live from one day to the next with little or no savings except their personal belongings and the support of their families. Some of these women also worked as maids in some of our houses.

On the night of 12th February, 2009 tragedy struck in the form of an inferno which engulfed these fragile lives. What started the fire is still being speculated. Some say it was a cigarette butt. Some say it was an electric spark. Some say it was a politically motivated arson move them out of the area. Whatever be the reason, by the end of it 6 houses were razed to the ground and 6 whole families (about 30 people) were left homeless…

I woke up to the news of the fire, but didn’t think the extent of the damage would be much. What I witnessed on my way to college at 7:30 AM for the first of my classes, sent a chill down my spine. Until then, I had never seen the look of total loss in anyone’s eyes. But the vacant look and flowing tear in the eyes of the women there gave me a glimpse of their horror. The fact that one of them was my maid, somehow gave it a feeling of personal loss.

By the time I reached college a task force had already been put in place to try and help the affected. People were abandoning classes to try and do their part. Here was no dearth of volunteers who wanted to pitch in to do their part. In half hour a committee was formed to oversee the donation drive that was put into force. We asked people to contribute whatever they could – money, clothing, food. Anything. And donations came pouring in. We needed 3 people fulltime to just keep track of the money and to keep accounts. We setup a collection box for people to drop all other things. By the end of the day we reached about 40% of the class and stall and managed to collect close to Rs. 19,000/- We contacted the alumni, who also assured assistance. The college, thanks to Prof. Sriram, also pledged to equalise the contribution that we were putting together.

Among the victims was a small time trader who used to trade in scrap paper, metals and glass. This person had close to Rs. 80,000/- in inventory in his shop and lost it all. The remains of the bundles of newspaper were still smouldering till late in the evening. Allen and Vidya took over the task of going from house to house of all Great Lakers living in the area and collected old newspapers, plastic and glass bottles etc that we will be handing over to the person so that his loss may be minimised. The humour in this was that they went about with the collection in a Toyota Corolla!!

The college staff helped out too. Ms Uma, Deputy manager, pulled all the strings that she could and got the ladies of the colony to donate old saris towards the cause. Mr. Balasubhramaniam, Placement Cordinator, literally emptied his pockets when we went to him for donations. All the other staff helped out to the best of their ability.

Parallel to this, we also went over to the affected and asked them what they wanted (In management parlance – Requirements Gathering). Once we had a broad idea of their requirements, we discussed on it and filled the gaps of the bare basic that the families would want (Requirements Analysis phase). Our final list consisted of Cooking vessels and utensils, straw mats and sheets, rice and dal, basic clothes for children and towels. By about 2 PM, 4 of us rushed to Saravana Stores and procured the list of items that we had finalised, taking care to pick up 6 numbers of each item (Operations). By 5:30 PM we were back at college with the items. By that time the others had collected clothes, food items, mattresses etc.

Without further delay, we called the womenfolk of the families and distributed all the items in equal measure and also handed over Rs 500 per house for the other needs that they might have (Delivery). The rest of the money will be used judiciously to by way of helping the children in the families further studies or will be put to such progressive work (Maintenance).

What stood out during this entire exercise was the solidarity and compassion shown by Great Lakers on the whole. There were many people who were out of town, but many of them contacted us and assured help as soon as they were back in town. The way a few of the Great Lakers unselfishly, at the cost of their classes, ran around the entire day, tirelessly working towards a solution was highly commendable. Of special note was Kavitha, Sijo, Rahul Prakash, Sheeba, Vidya, Allen and a few others. The passion shown by each of the Great Lakers was unparalleled.

What is more heart warming is the fact that it will be this set of 162 individuals who will be holding aloft the beacons of the Indian Industry in a few year’s time. And from what was witnessed, it can be safely said that the beacon will shine high and bright for years to come.

Celebrating the spirit of Great Lakes – Global Mindset Indian Roots. 

The LIP video...

This is a compilation I created from some of the pics I took during the Leadership, Influence and Power outbound we had recently :)

P.S: If you are not able to see this, please double click on the video to be taken to my Picassa site.

The Placement song...

Adapted from Jim Reeves Merry Christmas Polka

This is Placement season 

So there isn't any reason 

We can't prance the Placement polka...
Hear phone-bells ringing

Everybody's shouting, 

doing the GD polka...

Placement freeze and chaos 

Makes everyone so potty 

And gloom just fills the air...
It's a bloody screwed up time 

For a boy and a girl to get placed

While crying the Placement holler...

The scary Placement polka

Let's howl, let's scream, let's shriek...
Everyone's so snappy

The air is filled with dread...

Watch the sweet friends bluffing 

As they pace beneath the company logo
It's a sight to behold 

For the placed and the not-so-placed 

The meeeerrrrrry Placeeeement pooooolkaaaaaa...

:D

With age comes wisdom...

New year resolutions are a dime a dozen, I know. But not mine. Seriously. For one I don't make a dozen resolutions... not even thru the entire year. And secondly I'm very sincere about the resolutions I make. I make only those resolutions I can keep! 

You see, the problem with resolutions is that that they are generally something to do with making life better. And as we all know anything thats good for you turns out to be bad, which essentially means that they will be difficult to keep up. So the key is to make resolutions that do not fall under the categoy of goodness, life changing, health, etc.

Case in point. Last year I resolved to eat KFC every week of the year and let me tell you I've managed to not only keep up the resolution but have surpassed it by eating KFC atleast 2 times a week! Talk about determination and grit! See, anything is possible, IF you put your mind to it... trust me!

This new year I played a game on Facebook  - Know your Actual age. It had about 30 questions. So I bought out my stock of KFC and started filling the questionnaire. 

It had questions like:

"Do you take regular exercise?" Of course I do! I walk 200 meters to the college everyday... and back!!

"Do you eat out often?" Well, not really. I buy KFC stock for 2-3 days, which means I eat out only 2 times a week... when i go to buy KFC

"Do you have a healthy relation with your partner?" Damn right! She is rather healthy! And I take great pains to be away from her when she blows her steam.

"Do you believe in GOD?" Yes I do. But I dont know if the feelings are mutual.

At the end of 10 minutes I hit the submit button and prepared myself to be pleased to see some figure between 23-25 years. And after a short wait of 10-15 seconds when it did its jantar-mantar, it returned the magic number - 35 years!!

WHAT!!?? thats a good 6 years more than my real age! There must have been some mistake. And to be honest, I was not entirely honest. I did fudge some data when I came to "How often do you eat pre-cooked food?" I had said 7-8 times. But Maggie noodles is not really pre-cooked food is it?

I ran the test again, corrected some of these anomalies and again hit the submit button. It returned the question "Do you really want to go thru this torture again?" Ofcourse! It wont be torture this time! This time the real results would come. All data I entered was true to the best of my knowledge and all that. 

After the customary wait of 10-15 secs the results came. Where I expected a conservative number of 27-29, it returned 43 years!!

Dumb application! It was obviously flawed! How can anyone eating burgers filled with lettuce and tomatoes be called unhealthy. Ofcourse the burger does contain a few other substances like cheese and precooked meat and cheese.. but it also contains 1 lettuce leaf and one slice of tomato too!! Not to mention the bread... fried in oil. Doesn't that count for anything?? Isn't McDonalds a world famous food chain known for its highly efficient supply chain and processing capabilities?

But I'm not a guy who takes these things lightly you know. If there was a problem with my lifestyle that needed correction, thats what I'll do. I resolved then and there - "I shall visit the Gym everyday from today onwards"

True to my word I set out for the college gym later that evening. There was not a soul there. Sheesh... what is this world coming to? Here is a perfectly good gym funded by the college and no one seems to want to even make use of it to improve their health! People should learn from me! I entered the gym and looked around to familiarise myself of the surroundings. Pretty Impressive. They had many dumb bells of different sizes and some mats to lie on and an automatic treadmill etc. 

After 8 months of spending time here at Great Lakes, I had embarked on a new mission - understand how to use a treadmill! I gingerly got on to it and hit the start button. I expected it to start and go all the way upto my maximum speed which I calculated would be around 60 Km/hr. It dint move. I hit the start button again. Still nothing. The power switch was ON and so was the power itself, and yet the treadmill refused to budge. I reasoned it was an intelligent system which sensed a newbie. 

I got off the treadmill and moved on to conquer other bodybuilding tools. I started with one of them big dumbbells. The face of it was bigger than my the outstretched palm! Must have been some 10 Kg each! I picked it up and man it was heavy. I gave it a couple pumps and was exhasted. Man! What's the weight of these things? I searched and saw 1/2 Kg written on it. Must have been a typo. 

Anyway I went on for sometime and finally stopped after what seemed to be hours. I had done a good job, considering it was my first time in a gym. My muscles were already flexing and I was sure in a couple of days I would look as good and be as fit as Aamir Khan in Gajini! I turned to the clock to check how many hours I had been working out. It showed 17 mins since I started. The clock obviously was broken!

As I was basking in self glory, one of my classmates trotted in. He was in full exercise kit - shorts, T-shirt and even an arm band! Poor guy, what does he know! Hey, maybe I can give him a few pointers... after all, dint someone say "You enrich your own life by helping others"? 

Me: "Hey Dude..."

Mr C: "Georgie boy"

Me: "Come for some exercise eh?"

Mr C: "Yeah.. but what happened to you?"

Me: "What? Nothing! What made you say that?"

Mr C: "Well, you look like a wreck!!"

Me: "I was exercising!"

Mr C: "Oh... I see.."

Maybe he was too embarrassed to be around a pro, for he turned and I distinctly heard him cry and sniff... only, the cry part sounded more like a laugh... Well, to each his own, I say!

Me: "Dude, dont worry about this exercise thing... ask me if you need pointers"

Mr C: "Oh.. really? You'll help me kya?"

Me: "Sure! Why Not!"

Mr C: "Ok.. So what do I do?"

Me: "Now you want to start with these dumbbells here... but mind you, there is some typo in them. The one that says 1/2 kg is actually about 10 kg I reckon... maybe they meant to write 12 Kg and had a typo or something!"

Mr C: "No, thats actually a 1/2 Kg"

Me: "Dude! who is the Pro here?? Listen to more experienced ppl ok?"

Mr C: "Sure sir! anything you say"

Me: "Good. It would have been good to go on the treadmill, but it seems broken. Stupid college ppl wont fix it even. Ive told them a million times you know!"

Mr C: "Where is the key?"

Me: "What key?"

Mr C: "For the treadmill"

Me: "Dude.. there is no ignition or anything! It runs on electricity... You know, current and all that... There is a motor under it"

Mr C: "Ok..." 

I dunno why, but he went thru the crying bit again! Poor chap! He must be really embarrassed! And he had every right to be, if you ask me! After all, one doesn't get to ask these questions to a Pro like me every day right?

Me: "Dude dont cry... its fine... Look, though i have a distinct advantage over you, Ill let you in on a secret. Even with my fantastic physic, a facebook application pegged my age at 43! Ofcourse, its wrong about the age, but the point is, its never too late to start..."

I had been discoursing to him and he had been behind me all the time. I turned to see a horrific sight. Mr C had picked up one of those weight lifts, one much bigger than that 12 Kg one with the typo and started pumping in earnest. I tried to stop him, for he was a good friend... and I dint want him to hurt himself just because he compared himself to me!

Me: "Dude... stop it! You'll only hurt yourself if you try to emulate me so soon into the fitness regime!!"

Mr C: "Its OK Uncle... I've assimilated all that you told me... after all, I do respect my elders!!"

And then he went on to pump iron for some 2-3 hours (that too according to that broken clock!) and also went on to run on the treadmill after inserting a metal key into one of the slots that activated the machine... Somehow I get this weird feeling that he had been to the gym before... but I cannot say for sure!

As for my New Year resolution, I still follow it to the alphabet. 

I visit the gym everyday without fail!!!

:)

Misguided anger management...

She had a fierce look in her eyes and seemed very agitated. There were a just couple of people around her and as I approached, I could see them take cover. Small as she was (well, tiny is more like it), it did look as if she had grown about 4 feet now that she was ranting and raving, which bought her height at par with the rest of humanity. And with ppl all around her cowering in fear, I knew something had snapped. 

I could hear her loud and clear a good 100 feet away and the more I approached the epicenter, the louder and shriller it became. I now understood why there was so much commotion in front of the tea-shop. Basically, no one there could bear to go thru the pain of listening to her. People were rushing for cover, dogs were running hither and thither and I swear I saw the tree in front of the tea-shop droop in a matter of 2 minutes!

Her ravings went thus - 

"... such a lazy bum he is you know. I mean just look at him... wont even move his ass out of peoples way... Whatever happens in the world, does not seem to affect him... "

Man! She was mad.. as mad as a bull in a china shop. I figured was talking about her boy friend or something. Infact, I had seen this coming when a few days back I enquired her new year plans and she sadly told me that she is spending it in Chennai as her someone special is not in town. She is one person normally seen rushing off to Bangalore at the drop of a hat.

And here she was having had to spend her new year with Miss R and Miss D not to mention Mr G and Mr S... Yes, I can understand... anyone would be mad. But I wanted to caution her... the pain of going thru a new year like this wasn't going to go away by going hypersonic... 

I decided it was time to put an end to all the sufferings... after all, the lives of people around her were important. I gathered all the courage I could summon and went over to hr to try and reason with her... 

Me: "Dude, calm down"

Miss N: "Calm down? what's there to calm do...screeeeech"... and my glasses cracked!

She had gone hyper again... I decided to use another tactic

Me: "Listen, Its OK that you are feeling like this. I can see that you have gone thru a lot in the last 24 hrs"

Miss N: "You bet I have!"

Me: "So don't let it bother you and increase you BP"

Miss N: "Oh I'm not bothered about that!"

Me: "Eh? No? I thought you were upset about not being able to spend New year at Bangalore!"

Miss N: "Hell No! Infact I had lotsa fun right here!"

Me: "Oh! Really? Then why on earth are you making such a scene about your boyfriend in front of the entire tea shop?"

Miss N: "My boy friend? What's he got to do with this?"

Me: "Oh! I thought you were discussing about him... lazy bum and all that jazz..."

Miss N: "How dare you talk about him like that!" And immediately I knew it was my turn to take cover...

Me: "OK OK, calm down... So what were you talking about then?"

Miss N: "You see that dog lying on the street? Such a lazy bum he is you know. I mean just look at him... wont even move his ass out of peoples way... Whatever happens in the world, does not seem to affect him..."

Dogs! The greatest wars have been fought over them!!!

:-S

The real banking woes

Letter from a customer to the bank!
======================

Dear Sir,

In view of the current developments in the banking industry, if one of my cheques is returned marked 'insufficient funds', does that refer to me or to you?

Yours faithfully,

Customer

Overheard...

I was out with a friend on day when he got a call. The call lasted just a few seconds but as it progressed he sounded more and more alarmed at something. 

It went like this...

Frnd: "Helloo"

.....

Frnd: "This is he. May I know who is calling?"

.....

Frnd: "Oh! You don't say!"

.....

Frnd: "You don't say!!"

.....

Frnd: "You don't say!!!"

.....

I was getting worried just looking and listening to him talk on the phone. What could be the matter? What is it that the other person is saying that is getting my friend all worked up? So many questions...

After he cut the call I asked him with all the sincerity and empathy that I could muster...

Me: "I hope every thing is OK. Who was it?"

Frnd: "Oh! He didn't say!"

!!!!!!

:-S

Dwarfed amongst Giants!

In the village there is an ominous whisper to be heard.. among the trees, among the gathered folk. “They” have landed…

Everything is still for a moment… then screams, confusion and mayhem rule the roost. The fort is sealed and doubled up with sentries. Every able bodied soldier is bought out into the fray to fight. The children are sent to the safe confines of the dungeons. If you listen carefully you can hear their muffled cries. And the frightened fort awaits… their DOOM…

Every ear is tuned to the familiar clickety-click of hoofs. Once they hear that, they know their end is but hours away… Eventually the worst is confirmed… “They” have reached the gates.

The fight ensues… The fort puts up a brave fight. Slowly but surely the defences fail, one after another. Then in one final blow the fort falls… The prince is bought to his knees. But “They” are merciful… ruthless, but merciful… “They” grant the prince his freedom in exchange for treasures and submission. Having ensured victory and collected their trophies, “They” ride out into the sunset… In their Black Stallions, their mind set on their next target… But none know who or where.. And this keeps the princes in the neighbouring counties guessing and confused… Awaiting their turn, unable to defend, unable to win…

Who are “They” you ask? Well, not the Norman conquerers. But close… “They” are conquerors alright! And “They” have been relentlessly at their task for some time now… Leaving behind death and destruction wherever “They” set foot.

“They” arrive in small groups… To fight for glory and fame. “They” are trained to feel no pain, to fight till their last drop of blood, to their last breath. To do or die… The strength that makes them such a formidable foe, a force to be reckoned with.

“They” bulldoze enemy lines, leave behind carnage. “They” Bring back gold, glory and trophies, encrusted in gold, silver and precious gems to their Alma Mater.

So, what does it feel to have the best of the breed in your midst? What does it feel to look up and see glory? What does it feel to stand along side Giants?

Ask me, and I shall tell you!  Ask me, and I shall tell you stories of their victories! Ask me, and I shall deliver the victory song, with the war cry and the dances.

Ask me, and I shall tell you what it feels to be DWARFED among GIANTS.

And I’m proud of being part of the clan…

To see full (and growing) list of their conquests click –>http://greatlakes.edu.in/studentAchievements.php 

Venucians!

Women have always had a special effect on me, generally good... and I in turn have had a special effect on them too and I can vouch that atleast sometimes its good... 

Such a special effect happened today evening right after I met up with Miss D.I and Mr H while on my quest for that elusive electrical shop.

I had parked my bike opposite Adayar Odyssey before i went to Spencers. After my shopping binge, I walked across to my bike. Just as I reached it, She came in her pink Scooty and parked in right next to mine. She had had her helmet on and had a shawl cover most of her face so as to protect it from the dust i reckon... 

I stood there next to my bike, fiddling with my set of keys... just waiting for her to take off her helmet... 

She took it off, and remover the shawl from her face... Her hair previously tied in a bun unravelled... It was like a beautiful cascading waterfall... and I stood there watching her... my mouth open... The most beautiful thing on planet earth had just descended from the heavens

Guys in the audience will agree with me when I say that you will have been away from your girl a bit too long when you find that ever other girl you meet is goddess Venus... and I guess I have been away a bit too too long.. so much so that I find that some of the girls in my class are remotely Venuses! Eyww!

Anyway, getting back to my Venus... I mean story... She had parked her bike a bit too close and when she saw my admiring her beauty (read staring at her) she mistook it (luckily for me) that I was waiting for her to move... 

The lady that she was, she immediately moved her Scooty a bit for me to go... I guess she dint find me as attractive... I took the hint and backed out my bike but not before thanking her for her kind gesture...

I was just about to leave, dejected, broken hearted, when it happened... My world shook... and it wasn't such a great thing either... I felt a hot burning pain shoot up my leg... I turned around and found my Lady in the pink Scooty fallen at my feet... literally... 

My first instinct was to pick her up and tell her she dosen't have to beg me to be her boyfriend (I was more than willing ;) ) but then I got back from cloud 9 to planet earth to realise that she had just fallen over... 

I showed true chivalry... even though I was about to fall over, I took it on myself to pick her up and her scooter all the while doing a balancing act lest I should fall over and meet my death at the oncoming traffic... but such mundane things dint matter... I was after-all helping a goddess... what more can a guy ask for... 

She got up, brushed herself and said sorry a thousand times... "I forgot that I din't put the side stand, I'm so sorry"

Being the gentleman that I am, I on my part brush away all that and said its fine and all that... after-all, I reasoned, it was my charm that had made her forget to put the stand... I am to be blamed I told myself... I half hoped she would tend to me as caringly as I had done with her... 

Well, that was not to be... all she did was pick up her stuff and walk across the road to the guy waiting for her (who I might add was laughing seeing all this, while it was I who helped her al all)... Women dont know whats good for them even if it hits them in the face!

Now, as I write this, Im nursing the wounds that I sustained in this entire debacle... I literally lost a hand and foot to that lady... 

:-S

Eyww...

So I had been out searching for an electrical shop today and ended up buying some unrelated stuff from Spencers. Just as I was entering Spencers I chanced to see Mr H and Miss D.I having a cake and eating it too... 

I walked up to them in the hope that I might be offered a piece of it but soon realised from Miss D.I how quickly someone could gobble up food when faced with and adversary such as myself...

Anyway, as soon as she was able to speak (for her mouth was full of the snack that she dint want to share with me, which gave her the look of a puffed up stuffed toy) she said:

D.I: "Hi Georgei.. "

Me: "Hi D.I, Hi H"

D.I: "So what are you doin here?" 

She had a sly smile on her face, which made me wonder if it was due to something she wanted to tell me or if it was something to do with the fact that she had just gobbled up some snack (without sharing with me BTW) that was caught in her throat!

Me: "Oh just like that... had a bit of shopping to do..." I replied innocently and honestly (2 qualities that abound in me as can be seen from this very admission...)

D.I: "Who are you with?" She said pointing at a couple of, well, not so impressive girls behind me

Me: "What?! Them? Eyww... No way! I'm here alone!"

D.I: "Really? Eyww? That too from you?" she replied again with that sly smile...

Me: "Dude... I might not be all that good looking but I do have my standards, y'know... I'll settle for lower... but should be atleast your level"

;)

The book (or post) of revelation...

This is one of three posts that I plan to put up today. (Note the italicised plan) You can find the other 2 here (blog 2) and here (blog 3)

This first one is kind of a revelation... like the one Jesus had when he entered the holy waters of the Jordan River for his baptism... (not that i had to wade thru any of the holy murky waters still logged in some areas of chennai after the rains last week)

But readers please don't misunderstand me when I say this... this is not some post that is any different from my others... meaning it does not deviate from my usual nonsensical self and say anything particularly pathbreaking... 

For the past few days I've been running from pillar to post (or more correctly junction to junction) in this great city of Chennai trying to locate a teeny weeny electrical shop! And I have given up... 

I declare - There are NO electrical shops in Chennai! Serious!

All you wanna be entrepreneurs - this is your chance... just share a bit of that profit you make with this poor blogger who is jobless and ends up writing these useless posts!!!

DDOB

Let me warn you readers in advance.. This is a time pass blog... I realised that I hadnt written anyhing in so many days that I thought ill write a time pass blog just for he heck of it. 

BTW, DDOB stands for Daily Dose of Bakhwas! and BTW stands for By The Way (just in case u dint know)

Anyway i write just for the heck of it, so y should this be any different? right? Infact im not even going to bother to correct the spelling erros during my typing.

Well, comming to te poit, the reason i havnt written any thing is 

1) ive been in the middle of exams

2) all the ppl arond seems to have caught on to the idea that if they say or do anything in front of me, ill put it in a blog. So nowadays the moment I go into a room, all of them take cover of scurry away from the place. 

Anyways, im finished with my bakhwas for the day.

Signing off

ME!

Rain Rain go away...

There are rains... and then there are RAINS!!!

RAINS is what we witness at channai for almost a week due to a cycloning depression in the Bay of Bengal. And to say that we were all in a state of great depression by the end of this ordeal will be putting it a bit too lightly!

Chennai had been inundated by incessant rains. By friday all the surrounding dams were so full of water that the govt. had no option but to open them and let the water out which meant that almost all the roads in chennai and especially the low lying areas witnessed floods. Infact the floods were so severe that the road ways were turned into waterways and the govt pressed inflatable motor boats in service along on the roads... Yes! thats right on the roads... to ferry stranded people to drier ground!

The scene in front of our college was so spectacular that it gave a different meaning to the name "Great Lakes"!

A few Pics...













 :-!

Hell is where the DEVIL is!!

Frugality...

Woke up at 6 AM
Class at 7:30 AM
Too sleepy to get out of bed

Slept for another 15 mins

Have to get my ass out of bed

Can't miss class

Got up and brushed

That really din't help wake me up

Decided a bath could do the trick

Dragged myself to the bathroom

Switched on the heater

In the mean time, took a quick 5 Mins standing snooze

Boiling hot water burnt thru my feet

Danced around a bit

Something out of a tribal ritual

Poured the warm water on me

Ohh! That felt good

Felt even more sleepy!

Reached out for my soap

A sever pain shot up my arms

My fingers were bleeding

What the @#$%&&*@& 

Who keeps a razor blade in the soap box??

But it woke me up all the same

I peered in to the soap box for the weapon

but dint find any there

All I saw was Mr V's Cintol soap

Then I realised

The weapon in question was indeed Mr V's soap

It had worn down so thin that it had the thickness and sharpness of a razor blade

Is this what happens to one when you give up our job to come and do an MBA???

Frugality, thy name is Mr V!

The Weapon in Question!

Saving Grace!

I was fast running out of ideas. Frantically, I flipped thru the innumerous pages that I hoped held the key to salvation from my woes. Though the air-conditioning was at full blast, I could feel the sweat trickle down my brows. In the 10 minutes I sat there stumped, I let out so much water that it would have looked as if it rained inside the hall... and to think, it wasn't all sweat!!

I had, but 15 minutes to complete the one problem I felt would decide my fate for the Optimisation Techniques examination I was sitting thru. If i din't have the answer to this, I risked failing for the exam...

I search high and dry all over the book... and by the end of the search, I was even more low and wet...

I rackled my brains for something I might have missed... and realised I had very little brains to rackle in the first place...

I concentrated hard in trying to remember something that the Prof might have said... but i had never paid attention in his class to begin with...

I even prayed... 

And yet I could think of nothing... I was as blank as a frog staring at a flash light... and on top of it, I was starting to croak from dehydration from all the sweating and wetting I was doing...

I started getting fidgety... and the Dementors sensed it too... all three of them swooped down on me... the bunch of them... to suck out the last bit of life I had in me. I could barely breathe... not with all three of them breathing down my neck... everything started going black... I could feel the happiness go out of my life...

I knew I had to escape the grip of the Dementors. I looked around for some way of escape... something that would deliver me from the creatures... thru the corner of my eye I could see the rest of my classmates in a state of shock at my plight... but they seemed powerless to do anything at all... they knew that if they as much as moved an inch from their position, the creatures would be upon them in an instant...

It is in times like that this that I feel God does exist... just when I felt all hope was lost, I caught sight of her... her face gave me the small light of hope that I was looking for... I felt all my strength and happiness return in full vigour... and the sight of hope and happiness on my face had the strength of the Petronus Charm... In an instant, it drove all the Dementors away from me...

Her face... Miss S's face... that's what saved me... Her face showed me the path... It gave me the idea I was looking for... 

All I needed to do was put in a Dummy Supply variable!!!

:D

Klarity is key

"Shoo Shoo"

We were in the middle of a class when she started this Shoo-ing business... 

I looked across to her, half expecting something out of loony tunes. I'd always thought of her as one of the characters of the show which came alive due to some hand of god - something like Daffy Duck. As usual she had her arms flying about as if swatting flies... but only this time the expected flies were not anywhere there...

The Prof went on "If you were given the choice of starting a business, what would it..."

"Shoo Shoo" 

Man.. She even cut the Prof short! I always knew she was a bit shushy in the head... but not to the extend of Shoo-ing when a Prof is speaking! And to top it off, she had both her arms waving about now... But where were the flies? What was she Shoo-ing at?

The Prof regained his composure after this moment's distraction and continued with the lecture. The class went on smoothy for some time after that (mainly due to the fact that Mr A and I had pinned her down) till just before the break the Prof again asked some question related to the subject.

I need to be blamed I guess, if you ask me... In a moment's weakness I let go of my iron grip on her and she shot up instantly 

"Sir Shoo"

There ought to be special institutions for such people is what I say. I mean, yes, we were due for a well deserved break, but that doesn't give you the right to go Shoo-ing every other person, let alone a Prof!

"Miss, is there something I can help you with?" I could see the restraint in his voice as our Prof tried to make sense of her behaviour. 

"Shoo Sir, Shoo"

Everyone in class, including the Prof, looked at her... scandalized... and I went down on my knees imploring "Why God? Why??"

At the rate at which she was Shoo-ing, she sure was on a sure shot way out of the college. 

"If you need a break, just tell me. Its not polite Shoo-ing people" and the Prof gave us a break.

I had a good mind to strangle her... what was her problem anyway! The way she was going about the whole thing was enough to make you think she was some wayside Jilebi seller in her pervious birth... or maybe that was what she was doing before joining our college and making like all Shooy for the rest of us!

"Dude! What's your damn problem? You cannot just go Shoo-ing Profs u'know??!!" 

"Oye! Get Lost! I'm not Shoo-ing him! Im telling him my business idea... I trying to tell him that I wanna start a Shoe Store!!"

That my friend, in a nut shell, is the ever effervescent Miss S! 

:-S

Power play...

Poor Mr B got this mail from our Honor Code Committee after today's class.

"Dear fellow Champ,

This mail is to inform you that you have committed the infelicitous sin of attending the elective class an entire hour after the lecture commenced. The disturbance caused by you behavior has cause much pain and anguish for the professor and the other students present. 

As such the students were in their most inner self during their afternoon siesta while the Prof was rambling on about god-knows-what when you unceremoniously barged in disturbing the peace and tranquility of the highly valued Gurukul system of education at our institute. 

Not only did you disturb one and all, you went ahead and ridiculed the prof by giving a lecture on something connected to the subject. Though we admit that your lecture was much better than that of the prof, we regret to inform you that your attempt at terrorising the 84 students present at the time in class by imparting knowledge will not be taken lightly.

An even bigger sin is that you had the audacity of walking out of class after the Prof asked you to stop your crap. It is one thing walking into class and getting us remotely interested in a subject but quite another leaving us in that state of awakening.

This kind of behavior is highly frowned upon and is deemed a punishable offense under section 157 of the Guest Lecture Penal Code (GLPC) of the G. L. I. M. Honor Code (GLHC) inviting a maximum punishment fine of Rs 10000/- (Rs Ten Thousand Only) or Permanent expulsion from the institute or most likely both. 

If you fail to adhere by the rules and regulations of this institute by not paying the fine and accepting expulsion, you shall be deemed a revolutionary and shall be dealt with accordingly. You shall be ordered to sit for 25 three hour sessions of L&SCM. 

If you are not dead by that time or have not committed suicide, we shall put you thru 35 back-to-back sessions of Personality Plus. That, we are sure, will straighten you out - literally!

Looking forward to all cooperation from your side.

Have a lovely day

Regards

HCC"

And to think, Mr B was never a part of this elective and just came due to special invitation from the Prof to take a lecture on that subject!

HCC kii Jai!

HCC kii Jai!

HCC kii Jai!

:)

A confession...

How many times do we fall in love during our lives? I dont mean puppy love... I mean real, meaningful, undying love... Once? Twice? Thrice? For most people it might just be their better halfs, for some it might also be a previous girl friend or boy friend... whatever be the case, all of us should necessarily fall in love, atleast once in our lives. Like someone said "It better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all..."

I've been lucky I guess for I've had the opportunity to fall in love... twice... One of them is obviously my wife... but I also have another love... along side my marriage... Yes... There! I've said it! I love someone else other than my wife... now hang me if you please! I dont care!

It all started a long time ago, much much before my marriage... In fact, if I remember correctly, I was in school back then... (like I said, it was quite a long time ago) I was happy, carefree, not a worry in the world...

And then one day, I met her... at first I dint know what to expect, but soon I realised that I just could not keep away from her... Every moment of my life I yearned, pained for her... The more I tried to block my thoughts, the more she came gnawing in... Yes, she had me in her grasp... And just when I think I could resist the temptation, I would see her and let go of my defenses... the pleasure and happiness she gave me was unmatched... back then meeting her was a rare occurrence for she was not in Cochin (my home town)... But whenever, wherever I met her, I used to indulge in all those guilty pleasures... like I never wanted it to end...

Then I got married... things have been going smooth till now... my wife knows about my "other" love... Its no secret... but she understands... though she tells me to try and control the feelings, the emotions... I'm lucky I guess to get such an understanding wife... I even get to meet her once in a while... with my wife's knowledge ofcourse! Infact my wife has come along with me many times I met her... ofcourse, with my wife along, I show decorum, I show restraint... but whenever I meet her alone, I forget everything and indulge...

Even today... I met her at Chennai City Center... I had just gone to browse thru some books at Landmark... I dint think I would meet her... though to be honest, I knew she would be there and that I would not be able to resist the temptation... she is in one of the shops there... After I had done my small shopping, I went over to her and had the most wonderful half hour with her... by then people started eyeing us... so I had to leave her and come off... I swear I cried at the door... I saw her thru the glass, just sitting there, waiting for me...

With a very heavy heart, I walked down the stairs and reached the parking area only to find that it had started raining cats and dogs... My heart skipped a beat... this was the excuse I was looking for... I could run back to her with open arms... and spend more time with her... But I dint want to look too eager, especially to the other people in her shop... so I spent some more time at Landmark, pouring thru more books... while I was there, my roomie showed up out of the blue... I had to fend him off also... finally I got my chance and I ran over to her and spend another glorious half hour with her... Ahhh... what a wonderful feeling it is... to meet your love 2 times in a matter of few hours... Amazing!!!

Oh! I forgot! I dint introduce her to you did I? Well, she has the most beautiful name really... Please meet Miss Kentucky Fried Chicken... my "other" love... I lovingly call her KFC!

Finger Lickin' Good!!!

:)

She's got the look...

"Hey Georgie!" It was Miss Sw. 

Miss Ni and Miss Sw were standing at the juice point as I approached them.

Me: "Hi Sw, Ni... Whats up?"

Miss Sw: "Oh nothing much! Say, do you realise that you have become very thin recently?"

Miss Ni: "Yeah! How come?"

I could read it from her voice that she wanted the secret to my eternal youth!

Me: "Just thin?"

Miss Sw: "Then? What else?"

Me: "Well, dont you mean thin and handsome?

Miss Sw: "Why!? FAT people are not good looking or what?"

Me: "Well, I would never said that! Infact, I think you are extremely Beautiful! So are you Ni!"

Someone has said "Hell has no fury like a woman scorned". And considering the look she gives me nowadays when I see her and call out "Hi Beautiful!!", I think that is an understatement!

People around us on hearing me call her beautiful smirk thinking "Like he has a chance with her.. the married A******"... Well Well, if only they knew! 

Atleast now they will...

 

:)

Headlines Today!

"WHAT!? WHY!? HOW!?"

"Eww... look at that!"

"Yuck! What a sight!"

"What's that sticking out of that thing!?"

"How can something so big and round be so sickening!?"

"Ohh... I think I'm gonna be sick!"

"Arrhh!... I think I'm having a heart attack..."

These were but some of the reactions I got when I went to class on the morning of 4th october, 2008... Now before you crazy heads out there think that I had something sticking out from somewhere let me tell me confirm I dint! (have it sticking out I mean!!)

Ahh! 3rd October, 2008! A day to remember! 2 Exams back-to-back, 3 case studies, 3 assignment submissions, 2 classes, 1 presentation preparation... all in the span of a mere 8 hours of college time... ofcourse for us students, it was a matter of days and days of preparation... not to mention sleepless nights... groups of 5-6 working together towards the common goal - Come out alive by the end of the day! 

Some one told me that day "George, 3rd October is one day we will never forget in our lives" True! We will never ever forget that day. Especially me... since 3rd October, THE most fantastic day yet in our MBA studies, also happened to be my Birthday!!! And what a way to celebrate the day!

The reason for the comments in the beginning were due to a fit of insanity I had after this day... What did I do? I went tonsured my head! I guess I was half expecting the barber fellow to slip and cut off my head in the process... but unluckily for me, he was a through professional... 

Now I've gone from Brahman to Bhrandan! (mad man) See pic below...

And my roommate Mr. Vivek also calls me "Shrek" now... and he also took a pic of mine to prove the point! Please see below!

:-S

Brahman to Bhrandan!

The Shrek Avatar

MBA... taking its toll on me!

Man Oh Man Oh Man... MBA is TUFF! and that is stating it a bit lightly...

Its been days since i got a decent amount of sleep in one continuous stretch... its been 3AM to 12PM days for so many days that i cant remember... I dont even know what day of the week or what date it is anymore... Ive lost track of the concept of time... its like im in some hyper space continuum where time and space has lost relevance... even material things like food have become a myth where living life on the edge literally translates to living life on coffee!

I only know what all classes and assignments and submissions and case studies and presentations and exams are there for the next day! And all of these things are there every day now... either in Marketing Management or Strategic Management or Optimisation Techniques or Entrepreneurship or Human Resource Management or Government, Business and Society or or or or ... and so the grind continues...

MBA is certainly taking its toll on me... on all fronts... personal, professional and student life...

Mysteries of life...

I generally don't eat in the mornings and afternoons. Yes, I only have dinner. Its part of my brilliant strategy to reduce my baby flab and get my weight to a more manageable enough number so that I may haul myself up to the 3rd floor of my college. 

But for the last 2 days I've been having certain pangs... cravings... for food. Infact I find that I'm not able to resist food, especially piping hot and spicy food. For example, today morning I was walking to college and the mesmerising smell of masala dosa from the nearby tea stall forced me to turn around and order a dosa. Even today and yesterday during lunch, I could not but resist the food that is served at the canteen here (even though the food is nothing to write home about!). At night I'm not able to keep myself from preparing those delicious Maggie Noodles.

I was discussing this with a friend and she suggested the most obvious answer... maybe I'm Pregnant! 

I looked down at my stomach.. and there it was, my round little belly... maybe she was right... sometimes I do hear the growls of some kind of being emanating from it... maybe thats my kid saying "Hi mom.. or dad... or whatever!" 

The funny thing is... I don't remember getting laid anytime in the near past either... 

Hmmm... mysteries of life I guess!!

:-S

My Psychic powers...

Way back in 1998 when I joined engineering everything was wonderful in the world. It was the internet boom era... Multi-Billion dollar companies were getting created left, right and center. The entire world seemed to have taken a leap, way into the future... Traditional business models were getting re-written and the world seemed to be at peace... 

All of us were happy to be at the right place at the right time. Fresh engineers from reputed institutions were being fought over by companies... Infy, TCS, Wipro... even the likes of Microsoft, IBM, HP etc... 

Then Y2K happened. Everyone predicted the end of the world... But Indian engineers were getting recuited to solve the Y2K bug... The world's problem had become a massive opportunity for us... Good news. What was predicted to be a Big Bang came and went with a whimper! 

Then in 2001, two independent events rocked the very core of this existence... The World Trade Center was bought down by terrorists and the Internet bust happened... there was mayham everywhere... jobs were lost in the tens of thousands... multi-billion dollar businesses became worthless overnight... 

All this happened during my 3rd year at college resulting in just a handful of companies coming for recruitment and taking just a few of us. The problems in the markets lasted till early 2003. Luckily for me I had to wait only a few months before I got my first job.

I know, you are wondering... what this got to do with my psychic powers... 

Well, I predicted at the beginning of the year that since I'm going for studies this year, something major will happen to the world and that by the end of the year the world would be in a straight mess!

Well, looks like my prediction has come true... Sub-Prime crisis, US banks tanking all around, world financial markets all gone for a toss, US trying to salvage it by offering 1 Trillion dollar bail out (and congress rejecting it), terrorists attacking locations around the world, India seeing atleast one terrorist attack on a daily basis, Wars all around the world, world food crisis at an all time high... 

Looks like its gonna be job hunting on the streets for me again...

:(

Singapore Incidents 3 - wet-wipes

She was visibly shaking... I knew it would be bad for her... I had told her so... and yet i guess she went ahead and did it anyway! Girls! They just don't listen to wisdom!

I took her aside and sat her down on a ledge... I could see her shiver... took off my jacket and offered it and she gladly accepted... 

Me: "I told you not to do it, dint I?"

Her: "But they forced me to.."

Me: "I'm sure you could have stood you ground... even though you are as light as a feather!"

Her: "But they dared me to..."

She was imploring for understanding... I could hear it in her voice... and as a friend, I had to deliver... but why did she have to get on that damned thing!

The reverse bungee thing was scary! More so because of the price (40 Sing $)! That apart, the thing shot you up in the air at 200 Kms/Hr, keep bouncing for God knows how long, twist and turns you 4-5 times... Your entire life flashes in front of our eyes...

Me: "Ok, calm down... its over now..."

Her: "Ya... thank god!"

Me: "But I'm really proud of you... you went thru all that ordeal and came out in one piece!" :)

Her: "Yeah Right! I wet my pants!"

Eewwww! Gross! And to think I was sitting near her, had my arms around her shoulder and even gave her my jacket! 

My first instinct was to withdraw my hand... But then I remembered Joey in F.R.I.E.N.D.S (Episode 4.01) when he said "That's right, I stepped up! She's my friend and she needed help! If I had too, I'd pee on any one of you!"

Likewise, She needed my help and support... even if she wet herself... 

Me: "Hmm... So do you wanna go back to the hotel and freshen up?"

Her: "No, its fine... it'll dry up soon enough!"

What! Sheesh... and I thought girls were a bit more concerned about their appearance etc etc... evidently not this girl... its almost like she is a guy... I always had my doubts... Hmmm...

Me: "Dude! thats really gross alright! I mean its understandable that you wet yourself cos you had to get on that bungee thingy, but not cleaning up after that is just BAD!"

Her: "WHAT! YUCK! what do you mean I wet myself??"

Me: "Well, you said it yourself! That you wet yourself!"

Her: "I did not! you are just making it up!"

Readers please Note: I have proof of that statement at the beginning of this blog... So im covered!

Me: "You did too! And come to think of it, I can now see that your pants are really wet! Chee..."

Her: "Dumbo! Mr A and the gang were playing near the open fountain and they pushed me into it and thats how my pants became wet! Sheesh... you are sick! And FYI I dint get on that bungee thing! Humph!!"

Me: "Oh! I thought... I mean... Dude... I'm Sorry... My mistake... I was only looking out for you..."

Her: "Hmmm... Its Ok..."

Me: "So, why dint you go on that bungee thingy?"

Her: "Oh! Thats not for me! Id be so scared that I would probably wet my pants!!"

P.S: FYI readers... I call her Miss Wetty Pants now... 

:D

The Buddha was right!

All of us reach a certain point in our lives where we feel that life has taken a very wrong turn on us. Try as we might, we don't seem to be able to solve the problems or be able to come out of the suffering. 

In our desperation, we turn to family... all of us do... and yet even they seem to be not able o do anything. We turn to God... all of us do... and yet mostly we find that God still continues testing us. And we ask him "Why me?". 

But what we don't realise is that the most of the time the solutions will be right in front of our eyes. God would have already shown it to us. Only, we choose NOT TO SEE! 

Here is where I bring in The Buddha. Almost 3000 years ago the Buddha taught us:

The Cause of suffering: People live in a sea of suffering because of ignorance and greed. They are ignorant of the Law of Karma and are greedy for the wrong kind of pleasures. They do things that are harmful to their bodies and peace of mind, so they can not be satisfied or enjoy life. 

For example, once children have had a taste of candy, they want more. When they can't have it, they get upset. Even if children get all the candy they want, they soon get tired of it and want something else. Although, they get a stomach-ache from eating too much candy, they still want more. The things people want most cause them the most suffering. 

Of course, there are basic things that all people should have, like adequate food, shelter, and clothing. Everyone deserve a good home, loving parents, and good friends. They should enjoy life and cherish their possessions without becoming greedy.

The End of suffering: To end suffering, one must cut off greed and ignorance. This means changing one's views and living in a more natural and peaceful way. Achieve Nirvana. The Buddha said, "The extinction of desire is Nirvana." It can be experienced in this very life.

Reference:

http://online.sfsu.edu/~rone/Buddhism/footsteps.htm

So what does this teaching mean to us? 

Simple. Most of our sufferings and sadness emanates from craving for and wanting something that will not do us any good except give short term happiness or pleasure. If only we could just let go of our unwanted desires and cravings, we will be much better off and happy. How do we know if the desire is unwanted? I believe deep inside we (I mean people with a certain level of mental maturity, mostly adults) all know that the desire is unwanted, we simply choose not to accept it and keep clinging on to it because the child in us wants his/her candy.

Believe me... It works! Im now experiencing the Power of Letting Go... And I'm Happy

:)

Singapore incidents 2 - What a night!

2 weeks back 43 energetic Great Lakers risked it all and travelled to Singapore and Malaysia for a week of "Study Tour". Why risked? Well, if you are a Great Laker, you will instinctively know. If not, join Great Lakes to know! :)

We were put up at a beach resort at Singapore and were allocated individual condos on a twin sharing basis. I shared mine with Ranjith. The one next to ours was occupied by Miss R and Miss Po (To differentiate from my usual scapegoat, Miss P). 

As was expected, we worked hard in the mornings visiting companies and universities and partied harder in the evenings, freaking out in the singapore night life. My typical day was from 6 Am to 2 Am (the next day obviously)

On our second day there, most of us split up into smaller groups and headed for different parts of the city. My groups went to Clark Quay, Little India etc. (there was a little incident at Little India, but thats for a later time). 

I was dead tired by the time I came back. I got into bed by around 12:30 Am only to be woken up by Ranjith who returned by 1:30 Am. Soon after I fell into deep sleep. 

But somehow, at the back of my head I could hear some excited shouts and screams from the vicinity of my condo, but I was too tired to bother. 

At around 5 in the morning I woke up to the following conversation (shouts rather)

"R! That was wonderful! Ive never had such a night! Thanks so much for the wonderful night..." 

The sleep that I was in, all this did not really register into my head and I didn't think of it. I got up and opened my door to find Mr P standing at the door of the Condo next door, (in quite an intoxicated state I must say!) hugging it and serenading almost down on his knees. I dint find Miss R anywhere though!

"Dude! Shut up! Others are sleeping... and this is no way to say somethng personal to a girl!"

"Oh! I'm sorry George..." and he strutted away, Mr BigFoot that he is. 

Later at the breakfast hall I happened to run into into Miss R. We both said the morning pleasantries and smiled at each other. Perhaps I had more than a smile on my face for she kinda gave me a look as if I was some kinda weirdo.

"I heard it all..." {Wink, Wink} I said in reply to her searching look.

"Heard what? And whats with the winking?" she asked.

Man, she knows how to act!! Well, Im not gonna leave it at that!

"Babe, you live next door... and the condos are barely sound proof y'know!" said I.

"Ya, so?" 

"Well, when I heard the noise and all yesterday, I really did not think anything... But when I heard Mr P today morning, I kinda got the idea..." {Wink, Wink}

"What idea? What are you talking about? And quit winking!!"

Ya! Right! Like you don't know! Ill get the truth outta you somehow, just you wait!

"But where was Miss Po yesterday night then?" I wondered out loud

"Po was with me!" 

"Po was also there with you!!?? Man, you people are really progressive aren't you!?" 

"What the hell are you talking about man?" She was almost on a boil...

"I heard Mr P shouting out about the 'wonderful night' and stuff! hee hee" {Wink}

"Dumbo, Its my B'Day today and all those guys came to our condo at 2 Am and took me off to an early morning B'Day party by the beach... and they got drunk but we had a real fun time! Thats what he was talking about!!!"

"Oh is that all?? Oooppsie..." 

And for the rest of the day I walked around with a permanent wink on my face!

:-D

Singapore Incidents 1 - Photo sessions

Anyone who has been to an arcade game centre (or a circus) will definitely have played the game "Popping Dolls". Basically, these stupid dolls keep popping up thru holes at random and you've got to hit them on the head to gain points. 

All thru my recent Singapore-Malaysia International study tour trip I was practically playing the game, albeit in a different way. I was playing it while trying to take pictures. 

Didn't quite get it eh? Well, picture this. Its quite the challenge getting pictures right when you are taking them on a DSLR on full Manual control (My friend Ganesh will agree, I tried teaching him the nuances of taking pictures using a DSLR during the trip). 

Finally, you manage to set up your camera to capture some good, picturesque shots. You click and look at the preview only to find a doll-like figure just popped into your frame! I swear you feel like playing the "Popping Doll" game on them!! Lucky for them, I only had my camera in my hand and not a hammer (or better a hatchet!)

So who were these doll-like figures? I call them the "Dumb Duo" - Miss Soumya B and Mr Aanand 

Some Pictures Below :) 

Who's Who!!??

Mr Peeker at Work!

The "Dumb Duo"

Miss Paris!

Head Shot

Peeka Booo.. Aint I a model?

Another one of them peekers - Abhishek

Ok! Once i got them covered!

There she goes again!

Long time, No see...

Hi all,

I kow i havnt blogged in a while. Reason? I was touring Singapore and Malaysia as part of an International Study Tour that we have here at Great Lakes. 

It was a fantastic trip. I shall be writing about it soon... but now, i have an exam to write tomorrow and havnt started prep for it. 

Ill take my leave now. and be back with a bang (or whimper) however it is you see it...

:)

Embarrassing Truths!

College was one time when we did a lot of crazy things. At first they seem to impact the very essence of your survival and life, but once the time is past and you look back at it, many things kinda look funny. 

Ive written about my friend Anoob who has a knack of saying just the wrong things at the right time (or vice-versa)... The following incident happened when he was doing his engineering.

Ok, so there is a history to this story. Apparently when they were in their 1st year of engineering, a guy in their class got kicked out of college for playing peeping tom while a girl (lets call her Miss W) was taking bath in her apartment. This guy went around announcing this to the entire college and promptly got the boot.

Now, years later, when the rest of the class was in the 4th year, they were sitting around pulling each others legs and basically having fun. Anoob, as usual, was siting in a corner as if minding his own business. 

Mr X1: "Guys lets go for a movie"

Mr X2: "Yeah, thats a great idea!"

Miss X1: "Then we need to go home and get ready ASAP"

Miss W: "Yeah! and we need to be all fresh and beautiful for the date"

Mr X1: "Fresh and beautiful?? Hows that?"

Miss W: "Well, go get ready, take a bath, put on make up etc"

Mr X2: "Yeah right! You ppl? Fresh and beautiful? Like, do you even know what a bath is?? :-P"

At this point, Anoob, who like I mentioned, was apparently minding his own business,  got into the conversation and vehemently opposed Mr X2

Anoob: "HEY! Don't you dare say that she doesn't take a bath! We have proof! There are people who have seen her take a bath!!!"

:-S

shocking PPT on world hunger...

I got this PPT from a classmate and was so disturbed by what i saw that i felt it is my duty to spread the word. What you are about to see will rock your very core, but hopefully it will also jolt you into action. 

Take a look  at it below...

My first payment...

Today was an important day in my photography "career" :) I got my first ever "payment" for a picture that i took of my classmate - Abhishek. What did he give me? A big pack of Cadburys Dairymilk :) (Ofcourse, i dint ask for it)

Actually, the pic in Qn is not one that im particularly proud of due to several reasons like its out of focus, the exposure was way too high, the ISO is at 1600, there is visible shake etc etc etc. 

But hey! My client is happy... Not only happy, he is positively ecstatic! And that's what matters... the happiness of your clients. Apparently, he got a LOT of positive comments and admirations from friends and others...

Thanks Abhishek!

:)

Ideas Galore!

Now that we were on a lean period here at Great Lakes, everyone has found something or the other to keep themselves engaged. The latest craze doing the rounds is entering b-plan contests. (Its got an even bigger boost since two teams from from Great Lakes made it to the final round of IIM-B b-plan contest and one of them won first place!!) It has reached such feverish levels that if you find 3 people standing together talking, you can be rest assured that they are discussing a b-plan!

Not to be left behind, and with starry eyes and dreams of prizes, my friends and I too decided "Chalo guys, lets do a b-plan"

"Yeah! great idea. Ill do the operations" said one

"And Ill do the Marketing bit" said the next

"Me, the Financials" said the last

"Cummon guys, give me something to do too!" said I

"You come up with the idea!" All of them chorused...

Great! I get the best part! No use protesting... I wasn't quick at picking topics... and since we are a democratic race, I have to accept what's given to me.

OK! let me think! ______________________________________

Ok, I've hit a blank in under a minute! Could be a world record of sorts, I'm sure! "Guys! you need to help me out here... What kind of business are we looking at?"

"The money making kind!" they said... Trust my friends to give out readymade answers for these very critical and important questions in unison...

"I know it needs to be money making and all. But are we looking at products or services?" I prod

"Products!"

"Services!"

"Either!"

Great! For this they don't have a common answer!

"Ok lets go over it, what kind of product?"

"Oh! Oh! I've got it!" said Mr V. He was so excited that he was going round an round on all fours all over his bed as if chasing his own tail!

"Dude! What's with the doggy style?! Calm down and spit out the bone!"

He gave me a frown that I swear only a doggy could have given. I decided not to press the issue, lest I end up barking up the wrong tree...

"How about making an oil cube?" he said

A what?? Is it some kind of industrial stuff?

"Err... what?" we ask

"An oil cube! Y'know instead of buying an entire 1 liter pack of cooking oil, buy just a cube of it" he said

I guess we stared at him way too long. He continued "Ok, Ok how about a Chai Cube? Y'know like sugar cubes?"

"Guys, cummon! Thats a good idea no?... No?? Ok, Ok, how about cigarette cubes?"

And I'm wondering why he is so fixated on cubes! I guess he realised it too, and he changed his underlying ideas... on life itself!

"How about an automatic shaver?" he asked

"How would that work?" we asked

"Well it will have a mechanism like a rubber band that you put across your ears in front of your face and then the blade will move automatically over it and clean those stubs!"

Yeah! Right! and by the end of it all we will look like the Terminator without its living covering tissue!

"Or how about a chair that you will never fall down from?"

Why? Are you stuck to it, I felt like retorting.

"How it will work is that it will have high pressure air blowers from below that will keep the chair from falling down! Fantastic, right?!"

By the end of these barrage of ideas we decided that 'product' was not the way to go about with our b-plan. 

Finally, we did hit upon a services idea that we discussed and implemented a b-plan on. 

But Mr V still has not given upon his futuristic product ideas. We find him lost in thought and every once in a while he jumps up and goes "Eureka! Eureka!". Luckily for us, he sops with the exclamations and does not do what Archimedes did - run across the street streaking!

:)

The Grisly Beast

It lunges itself across the pathway, sweating and heaving at the effort. It carries on its shoulder something akin to roadkill. The 'stuff' just sways in rhythm to the it pace... 

Every morning it descends from the jungles on its way to the 'factory'. The factory where it gets its feed. They feed it with scraps, tiny tit-bits that are not enough to satisfy its palatable hunger...

The children of the village run for cover when they see the ghastly sight. Even grown ups move away, but thats more in disgust rather than in fear. They know its harmless. Never-the-less, they keep their young away for they don't want it scaring the little ones...

Once a while it stretches its big fat arms and tries to fan away the flies above its head. It growls at being disturbed thus. It salivates as it grunts and heaves. But the flies just don't give a damn...

It reaches the corner tea stall where it stands, anticipating a morsel. It lets out a growl which the bystanders don't quiet fathom. But the tea shop owner understands the tone. He takes out a snack from his old stock and tosses it across. He knows there is no payment, but it does not really worry him. It was old stale stock anyway and moreover this gets the beast away from his shop. It catches the food and in one bite finishes it off. It moves on again, licking its paws to savour every bit of the taste...

It moves decisively towards the factory. There is no one to even look half interested in it there. It sits at the corner waiting for its food to come. People come, people go. All the while and thru out the day it waits. Nothing much happens there at the factory...

In the evening it gets up and walks back to its lonely den, all the while keeping a tight look out for potential trouble. There is always someone to throw a rock at it. It sleeps all alone in a corner, keeping warm under a coat of fur...

As usual, today morning it did its daily walk. But to its amazement no one ran away, no one screamed. The children continued to play on the streets as it passed. There were no files to torment it and the tea shop guy gave it good food too. Even at the factory people came up and patted it! 

What was different was that I got myself a shave after almost 3 weeks! 

:)

LOVE is all around us...

At Great lakes we are privileged to have considerable time kept aside for LOVE. Oh Yeah! You heard that right… We have designated time set aside, that too with the permission of the management, for LOVE. It happens almost every Sunday (and sometimes on other days in the evenings) when a few of us get together for these amazing sessions. And frankly, its one of the most exciting times we have here. Yes it is!

But before your kinky dirty mind starts imagining all sorts of things let me tell you what LOVE means to us. Our Uncle Bala defines LOVE as Leveraging Our Varied Experience. In essence, it is about sharing information or knowledge that has been gained from all the years that we had been working, whether in IT or manufacturing or Banking or Shipping or Logistics or wherever. The sessions are run entirely by the current students for the students. It is a medium for spreading knowledge (to those who seek it). It is a medium for expanding horizons. It is a medium for incubating and sustaining interest in fields otherwise alien to us.

A few examples:

Abhimanyu Shandilya, a Lawyer and classmate, takes a course called “Law for Managers” on free Sundays. He basically introduces us to many of the intricacies that we as managers need to be aware of. Of course, we cannot obviously expect him to teach a 5 year course in a few hours. But he does lend us enough information on contracts and Indian law to help us be on our toes. It is one of the best LOVE sessions currently running on House-Full status at Great Lakes. Infact, Abhimanyu does such a good job that he can probably give our real professors a run for their money. I personally think he will be very successful if he ever thinks of getting into the education field.

The other LOVE session of interest is the one conduced by the Punter’s club where experienced investors like Umesh gives us novice investors gyan on how to beat the market using his Technical Analysis, Elliot Wave patters, Candle Sticks and Fibonacci series methods. Most of the analysis he did made a lot of sense and the proof was right there in front of us to see. He has managed a whopping 54% returns on the current bear market in under one month!! Now that’s true Experience!!

The Great Lakes management is really forward looking in this way. They believe that the students need to be part of the institution building and is willing to help us in any way possible in our endeavours.

We the students also take the opportunity extended to us and make use of it theLOVE way!!

A different kind of blast!

25th July, 2008 – Friday Evening.

7 BOMBS GO OFF IN BANGALORE
2 PEOPLE KILLER, 7 INJURED
THE IT CAPITAL TARGETED BY TERROR

These were the headlines that were flashing on the TV screens. I sat there biting my nails. Bangalore was a relatively safe city compared to other cities in India and with the best brains in the country making a beeline for the pink city, it was assumed that such incidents would not happen there.

My wife was at Bangalore and was to leave for our home town. After a million tries I got thru to her and to my relief she was fine.

The next day matters got worse...

AHMADABAD HIT BY SERIAL BLASTS
17 BOMBS GO OFF AT AHMADABAD
60 KILLED, 100s INJURED

Man, what's happening to this country? Bombs everywhere.

Another news the next day...

OVER 15 UNEXPLODED BOMBS LOCATED AT SURAT
NO CASUALITIES
POLICE DIFFUSE BOMBS

Oh good! Atleast they were diffused before they caused havoc.

Soon Monday rolled in and we were all in class. I saw a classmate, Miss N, who was in Bangalore over the weekend. I went upto her and enquired about the incident

Miss N: “Ohh Yeah! It happened quite far away from my place”
I sensed a tone of regret in her voice. Some ppl are just plain weird I guess... I mean who would want a bomb to go off next to your house?!

She continued “Anyway, nothing much happened because it was low intensity”

Me: “Thank goodness for that!”
“So, how was your weekend away?” I ask

Miss N: “Ohh! It was too good. I was at Bangalore and I had a BLAST!”

Well, Duuh!!

:-!

The pause...

I've exhausted my share of stories,

I've said what I had to say,

I've looked back at my life and think,

Boy, what a crappy life I've had!

Im seriously thinking of retiring this blog,

Maybe I ought to do it before I die,

Coz I have very many promises to keep,

And miles and miles to go before the deep sleep... (adapted from Robert Frost)

I know, crappy poem,

But what the hey,

This is my blog,

So its all my way!

What did I do??

Me: "Hey, i need to tell you something..."

She came near... 

Me: "Its kinda embarrassing..."

Her eyes went wide...

I was certain she became apprehensive, thinking "What is it he wants to tell me?"

I guess its curiosity.. or inquisitiveness if you wanna call it that... She was all ears

Miss X: "Ya, tell me..."

Me: "Are you sure?"

Miss X: "Ummm... ya..."

I could feel the tension in her voice...

Me: "Ok... but dont hate me for this, alright?"

Miss X: "Okie..."

Ok, here goes nothing... "Your zip is open!" I announce into her ears...

Miss X: {SCREEEECH!!!} 

Woah! I dint expect that reaction... Before I could calm her down she was jumping up and down! But instead of trying to zip up, she instantly headed for behind a car...

Me: "Hey, Dude... cool down its ok... its ok..."

Miss X: "WHAT?! HOW CAN YOU SAY ITS OK?"

I was so taken aback that I just looked at her...

Miss X: "AND STOP STARING AT ME, YOU FREAK!"

I woke up from my trance... I had to calm her down before her screams bought the entire school down...

Me: "Listen, calm down... I fix it for ya, come here" and I extended my hand to help...

Wrong thing to say to a girl I guess... now she was running away from me as if paranoid... the last I saw of her, she was running into the girls restroom, arms swinging over her head... Girls are difficult to figure out... 

I don't know what the fuss was all about... all I wanted to tell her was that the zip of her laptop bag was open...

:-S

What's in a name...

I did my schooling at Bhavan's Adarsha Vidyalaya (BAV), part of the Bharathiya Vidya Bhavan (BVB) group of institutions. BVB has 6 schools in Cochin and BAV is one of the best. During my time, it was a totally new school and we were the 2nd batch to pass out. Which means it was not known to the world as much. 

After school, all of us disbursed to go for higher studies, some engineering, some doctors, some B. Comm etc. Only one person, Ashwin, went on to do his Law from Ernakulam Law College. 

Now, Law College is very well known in Cochin for its enviable track record of utter Lawlessness... things are so bad that even the private bus mafia (which is very strong in cochin) would not dare to take them on... for if they were to do so, 2 things (Cardinal Rules) will automatically happen and either way, the bus owner is screwed!

1) The buses of the bus owner who dared to challenge would be completely destroyed.

2) A case will be filed against the bus owner alleging some crime against the students in the college. 

Imagine this, if a student of Law College wants to cross the road, all he does is step on to the road and raise his hands to show a Stop sign... and all vehicles are, by default, required to stop. Even if it is the Chief Minister of the state! If he doesn't, refer to Cardinal Rules above... 

Ok, let me get on with my story now that you have an idea of how Law college functions. When Aswin and a couple of frinds walked into Law College the very first time in his life, there he saw a group of vultures (read seniors) waiting to pounce on them. It was just a matter of time before the 3 of them were squatting in front of the seniors in positions that they dint know they could humanly achieve.

The first guy was asked "Which School, you low life?"

"Toc-H!" He answered proudly... and a split second later he was eating mud from the nearby puddle onto which he was graciously pushed into. 

Same question to the second guy...

"Choice!" and he too received the same treatment... boy! They sure hated guys from famous schools!

Ashwin's turn, same question..

In the worst accent possible he replied "Aaadarshaaa..." 

And the seniors let him off thinking he already had had his share of humiliation in life by going to some obscure "local" school...

:)

Until Now, The Ugly Duckling!

This is an article i wrote for the SWIM (Successful Women In management) Magazine launched by Great lakes.
===============================

Ok Ok! Let me explain the concept of the title before you, the readers, tear me apart.

The story goes that a duckling is born to a mother duck in a swamp. But since it is very different from the other duckling, it is not treated as part of the flock. It goes thru a lot of hardships but by the end of the following winter, it transforms into the most beautiful and majestic white swan at the swamp. Thus the duckling which was shunned by society at large grows up to be the leader showing others the way. But even with all the recognition it does not become conceited since it knows only too well of what it had to go thru to achieve what it has and remains as humble as ever, the mark of a true leader.

To me, this story sums up what women in India has been going thru and how things are fast changing, for the better. Indian culture has had a long tradition of respecting our women for her contributions in the family setting. We talk of women being the pillar of any family. We talk of educating the women of the family and the rest will follow suit. But we have not been very forthright in accepting and acknowledging her talents as a successful business woman. We have thus far shunned women in the business sphere just as was done to the duckling.

But all this is changing. Of late we have been witness to quite a few women breaking the traditional bondages and taking flight, soaring their way to success. The glass ceiling has developed huge cracks. And this is true not only for familiar and famous business women like Indira Nooyi (PepsiCo) or Indra Subramanyam (Ehlrich Labs) or Kiran Mazumdhar Shaw (BioCon) but also likes of Barkha Dutt (Journalist) or Kiran Bedi (IPS) or Bachendri Pal (Adventurer).

This begs the question: Why are we seeing this paradigm shift? Why is there this sudden realisation of the business capabilities of women? Some of it has to do with women being more independent in the new liberalised India. Some has to do with the enhanced educational opportunities available to them. And some can be attributed to freedom and space that the new women have managed to garner. But I believe most of it has to do with the change in general attitude of society towards them. We live in an age where there is a much more liberal outlook towards business women. It is no longer a taboo to be talking about a girl in the family who has made an impact in business unlike the days of yore when they were expected to perform only at home. Infact its quite the opposite. Parents, husbands and children are all equally proud of the daughter, wife and mother who has reached the pinnacle and fulfilled her career aspirations.

There is yet another reason why we have started to acknowledge these courageous women – their ability to withstand burnout. You see, most of them have family commitments but they manage to juggle between family, relations and work seamlessly. It truly is a monumental task and they seem to be thriving in the challenge. This is precisely why we are awed by their very presence. And its not like they have to put in extra effort to do all this juggling. It just comes naturally to them, like they are created to have to do all this at the same time. Men, I believe, for the world cannot do more than a couple of things at a time.

Which brings me to the point of humility. Even with all this going on for them, I do not see women being obnoxious about themselves on television or in any other media. We Indians tend to attribute this to our culture and prejudices – that women are meant to be docile beings fit to be a housewife only. But we have evidence of this mindset changing too, of seeing the woman as more than just secretaries and typists. Women now control the boardroom in certain companies. They conceive and execute groundbreaking ideas. And true to their never-say-die spirit, they move on to do much more and better things. Yet, they remain most Indian at heart. Take Indra Nooyi for example. I have not seen her address a gathering in anything other than a sari. That’s when she can be wearing anything formal. Yet she chooses to wear saris in the talks she are in. Global Mindset Indian Roots at its very best!

So as a male in the male dominated business scene am I unduly worried about this unprecedented influx? No not really. Honest! The way I see it, they will only increase the diversity that we see around us, they will only make it all the more challenging to do business and they will only enhance the value of human life just by doing what they are created to do.

Looks like the swans are indeed taking over the world, and in the process making it a more beautiful place to be in. Women... They truly deserve a standing ovation!

Whirrrr....

I know of these chinese stress buster toys that you throw on the wall and it starts howling in pain and vibrates. Its pretty funny and a true stress buster...

I have this friend at Great Lakes who is like that. No, she is not Chinese (though she is definitely the size of the toy!) but she does behave just like the toy...

All you need to do is to get Miss N going by saying something remotely funny, and for a good half hour she will be rolling in laughter, vibrating all the way... 

The good thing is you get a good massage just sitting next to her on a bench!

:)

Fast & Furious...

Me: “Hey P, have a biscuit”
Miss P: “Biscuit?! What do I look like?”

Me: “Well, kinda like them effigies; All white, twisted and ready to go on fire! Why do you ask?”
Miss P: “Haa Haa. Very funny! I meant, dint you listen to our Business Communications Maam’? Biscuit means Dog Biscuit!”

Me: “That’s in the Americas dude! Not in good old India”
Miss P: “All the same... Anyway, I cant eat... I’m on a Fast”

Me: “Oh! How come?”
Miss P: “Its a long story... But to cut it short, when I was in Std 2 I prayed to god to let me pass in one of the exams. And since then I’ve been fasting every Monday of this month”

Me: “I see... And to think... I thought it was because you were slow! :D”
{KAPOWW!!! and I felt a few of my teeth become misaligned!}
Miss P: “I’m not that slow!”

Me: “Hee Hee... But tell me frankly, aren’t you doing this Monday Fasting to get a good husband or something?”
Miss P: “I don’t have to! Ill get the best husband ever. Infact, it will be he who has to do the fasting to get me as a wife!” {Humph!!!}

Me: “Ya Right! It might just be the opposite!”
Miss P: {:-P} “Even if that dosen’t happen, my parents will find a good husband for me. That’s what I call CONFIDENCE!!”

Me: “And that’s what I call WISHFUL THINKING!!”

:)

About America...

The land of the free...

The land where you are free to buy...

anything as long as you tell the IRS about it

The land where you are free to grow any plant in your garden...

as long as the grass is 1 inch high and trees are pruned to perfection

The land of the free...

Lateral thinking...

At Great Lakes we come across (thru Profs or thru cases) many innovative ways of doing business. We also come across many even more innovative answers... Miss 1984 gave such an innovative answer to a question today (albeit, only to me) that it left me laughing so much that I finally got stomach cramps!

Our IT for Managers Prof. Dr Sunil Rai told us of a real life sales situation today. The case goes like, a major retail chain in the US experimented by placing Beer bottle packs right next to baby diapers. To their surprise they found that the sales of the beer soared! Why? 

Many answers were shot out, most pretty standard... someone said it was because it was placed close to the exit... someone said it was because it was priced low... (incidentally, nothing like low price or proximity to exit was mentioned by Prof. Rai)

Well, the real answer, Prof Rai told us, was that when these guys come to pick up diapers for their babies, they invariably pickup a pack of beer (maybe to drown their sorrows in)...

Hearing the answer Miss 1984 quickly turned to me and said in a hushed voice "That is why, eh?? I thought the diaper was because they would wanna go pee pee after drinking the beer YA!!"

Now, THAT'S lateral thinking!!!

:)

Confusing choices...

Her: “So, which of the two would you like to have?”
Me: “Hmmm, tuff question. I think Ill go for the pineapple tart”

Her: “Pineapple tart? What pineapple tart?”
Me: “You were talking about dessert right?”

Her: “Ooff... You men! Were you even listening to what I was saying?”
Me: “Sure I was! Was just playing with ya. :-D”

Her: “So, then TELL ME!”
Man, she was not going to let go of this. We were at the restaurant, and it always meant a bad thing when she started getting upset and excited like this. Frankly, I had no clue as to what she was talking about. I was busy checking out the curves on a Bloody Mary...
Me: “Err... Well, the SX4 is nice!”

Her: “I’m not talking of some stupid dumb car of yours X-(“
Me: “Oh! Can you repeat the question please?” I replied, meekly. Readers please note, I have high BP...

Her: “I was talking about babies”
Me: “What baby? Where? HOW??”

Her: “Our baby! But by the looks of it, you really dint listen to that sex education class we had in school!!”
Me: “Eh?”

Her: “Listen, if we get pregnant, would you want a girl or a boy?”
Me: “What are you pregnant!!?? How could that happen? I declare, I don’t have any hand in this paap!”

Her: “No! I’m not pregnant! And with the vast knowledge you have, I don’t think I ever will be!”
Me: “Whew! That’s a relief!”

Her: “What!?”
Me: “I mean the pregnant thing...”

Her: “Hmmm... That’s better! So, girl or boy?”
Me: “A human kid!”

Her: “I doubt it! It will be yours!”
Me: “Haa Haa very funny... And hey! What did you mean by saying ‘I don’t think ill ever be pregnant’?”

Her: “Coz you are the worst golf player ever!!”
Me: “Eh?”

Her: “Forget it!  Of all the guys, I get stuck with you!”
Me: “Ain’t you the lucky one!”

Her: “Yeah! As lucky as the Dodo to get stuck with one!!”
Me: “Duuugghhh....”

:-D

The failed survey...

Im sure youv'e read this before, but im posting this anyway since its is so funny yet true!!

================================================

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:

'Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?'

The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant, In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant, 

In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant, In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant,

In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant, In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant, 

And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant!

A dreaded thought...

Many of my girl-friends from school started getting married once they finished their studies. and after the average of 2 years of waiting period before deciding on settling down to family life. 

Initially things were quite fine... things were, well, normal... Maria gave birth to a healthy baby boy, so did San... All of us friends were obviously happy for them... there were parties to celebrate the babies' birthdays year after year... 

Then out of the blue things started changing... Not that the babies were unhealthy... they were fine... in fact, each of them were cuter than the previous ones... what was different was the explosion in numbers! 

It all started with Smrithi... One fine morning she calls us up and announces... "Guys! I gave birth! and guess what! Twins!! :)) " 

We were all ecstatic... after all twins are not what you see every other day right... Almost 2 years have passed and Smrithi has her hands full with her two wonderful boys and her MDS studies...

Last week we got a call from another of our friends, Roshni... "Guys! I gave birth! and guess what! Triplets!!! :))" 

Woah! Put the brakes on please!! What's happenin?? Last i heard, Roshni has 3 babies to feed and only 2 bottles! In short, she has more than her hands full!!

I now dread the day my girl comes to me and tells me, softly in my ear, "George, I'm pregnant! Get ready for Quads!!" I've already invested in a 4 bedroom villa and keep a stack of emergency heart attack pills ready at hand in my pocket!

:D

Practice make perfect... well almost!

I practiced and practiced... I HAD to get it right... it was our anniversary and I dint want to screw it up (yet again!)... 

I selected a wonderful old Hindi song sung by the legendary Mukesh. It starts with...

"Hum ne apnaa sab kuchh khoyaa,

Pyaar theraa paane ko..."

It had been years since I sang to her... I knew that she too was yearning for a song from me... especially since she keeps asking me for one and I keep shying away... 

The reason for it is that of late my voice seemed to have gone from that of a melodious Nightingale's to that of a Duck in considerable pain...

I practiced and practiced... I HAD to do a good job... the rest of the day (and probably the year) depended on this day... 

I selected the Hindi song knowing very well that I din't know Hindi at all... I even took the help of a friend to figure out the meaning of the words... 

We went out for a candle light dinner... the drinks and meals were ordered... I had to make my move now... I got nervous and so excused myself to visit the rest room...

I practiced and practiced... I HAD to make an impact... I sang away to glory looking at the mirror... even with people staring at me when they were moving in and out of the rest room...

I made up my mind and headed back to my seat... I could see that she had had enuf waiting for me at the table... But I was confident that she would be bowled over once I started my rendition... 

I looked into her lovely eyes... I saw anticipation. I took a sip of water and told her to come nearer... I dint want this special song to be heard by anyone other than her... 

she came nearer to me... I could smell her mint fresh breath. She blinked, like 20 times in a minute. Tension and anticipation was ripe in the air...

Then I sang... from the bottom of my heart... 

"Hum ne apnaa sab kuchh paayaa,

Pyaar theraa khonee ko..."

:-S

Inflation... how will we survive??

Inflation is the buzz word of the day. For the past few months all of India has been gripping in unprecedented rise in inflation culmination at close to 12% last week and there seems to be no sign of it going down any time The trouble is when it affects the very basic of food items that we consume on a day to day basis.

Even at the Great Lakes Simla Canteen inflation has raised its ugly head. We don’t get the sweet dessert for lunch now and a cake of Maggie noodles costs Rs 15. As a matter of fact, in one case we have been hit by much much more than the standard 12% inflation! 

And that too for a food item that most of us survive on... An item that give us the strength to carry thru the entire night... that VITAL FORCE!

Don’t believe me? Calculate then! The price of Sunfeast milk biscuit has gone up by Re 1 from Rs 3 to Rs 4!!

Thats 33.33% inflation!!! 

How will I survive now??? Boo Hoo Hoo...

:((

A very right thing to say...

My good friend Anoob (another article about him Here) has a peculiar way of either saying the very right things or the very wrong things ALL the time. For him there is no middle path. Its not that he thinks about the answers before saying it. It just comes to him spontaneously. He is too innocent at that.

Anoob did his engineering from a college in Bangalore along with my other friends Vinod and Shyam. As is usual for all engineering students across the country, they too would start studying for the term exams only a few days before it. So, in accordance to tradition, the three of them were busy studying with full concentration the day before a particularly difficult subject.

After while of futile efforts at understanding the subject, Shyam, who was sitting in the front room, out of shear frustration began to sing “Ennu theerum ente dukham innimannile...”. This is a Malayalam song that is usually sung in churches during funerals and it means “When will my troubles in this world be over...”.

The beauty of Anoobs innocence and spontaneity was revealed in full when within a fraction of a second he sang back to Shyam “Annu theerum ENTHE dukham innimannile...” meaning “Then MY troubles in this world will be over...”

:)

10 things to do before i die...

Like most people, I too have dreams of some things that I want to do before I die. As a matter of fact, my real list is really really long and might infact stretch around the world. To make things a bit easier for the reader, ill publish just 10 things from that list. 

1) Start my business - cud be an internet company or even a spice extraction unit. But only when  have done it and succeeded in it would i call my self a success in life.

2) Visit Egypt and Machu Pichu with Liya

3) Adopt a child with Liya

4) Buy my dream Willys Jeep and RE bike and go to the Himalayas in it!

5) Get a Golden Retriever for a pet.

6) Learn to be the best darn photographer i can be.

7) Get Lenses in the range of 10mm to 800mm

8) Buy the top end Bose LifeStyle music system

9) Build a palatial but traditional Kerala illam overlooking green fields

10) And finally, Write a book.

Wonder how many of them will be possible. I would think 2, 4 and 5 are the easy ones. The rest are big challenges. Hope i will achieve them...

Introspection...

Writing is tuff work... trying to write humour is tuffer... and actually being funny is tuffest! 

As i have already said in a couple of posts, my aim for the month is to write at least one article a day. And i have said this whenever i had a missing day. As in, when nothing came to my head (as is usual) I wrote im supposed to be writing and just for the heck of it, i posted such articles with 2 sentences. 

I think i should have made my goal a bit more concrete and said ill post one funny article a day. Again its easy to cheat the system. All i need to do is post funny videos from youtube. But it again beats the purpose as im supposed to be writing funny articles myself.

So what have i learned over the last 20-odd days? That i have run out of funny incidents to write about, that i have had a life that can be summed up in less than 20 days, that i shall never ever take up such a challenge again. 

:-S

An international plot!

I wrote this piece a few months back but did not publish it following a request from my sister to wait for 3 months. Now that the 3 months are up, here goes...

=======================================

Woah!... Stop the Presses... The news of the century has just come out... Im gonna be an uncle for the third time... My Sapna Chechi told me this exciting news just a few minutes back... and i cant wait to put this down in writing...

The funny thing is, I do not wish to have kid of my own, but when it comes to seeing my nephews and playing with them, i kinda get excited for real... Well, its a different matter that I've got to see my first nephew, Noel, just 2 times in his 5 years and have never seen my second nephew, Joshua, except thru a webcam. But thats not the point... the fact remains that Im really excited about this... even though the 5 Golden Laws prevail.

But you know what, the cynic in me is raising its head and asking... Isn't this all a BIG BAD PLOY against me? Ahh... Y, u ask?  You see, for my sisters who are settled in the US, to see Appa and Amma the choice is between traveling to India every other year OR... if one gets pregnant after the other... you see the plan?? My parents will have no choice but to take up permanent residence in the US right??

Hmmm... As the saying goes, if u cant beat 'em, well, join 'em...

Liya, better get down to Chennai next weekend!!!

;-)

The new RE Thunderbird Twin Spark

I am a BIG (literally and figuratively) fan of Royal Enfield (RE) bike. It has been a long held dream of mine to own an Electra 5S. But the initial cost has been holding me back. But looks like my wait is getting rewarded...

RE has been comming out with  lot of technological break thrus of late the latest one being the twin-spark engine Thunderbird. The thunderbird is the ONLY TRUE cruiser bike in India. Other wannabes like Yamaha Enticer and Bajaj Eliminator are a joke. Infact the only thing about those bikes are their looks, which again is not too enticing! 

The RE Thunderbird is different. Its a mean machine and handles the highways like a song. I once had the opportunity of riding it for around 1000 Kms and it felt.. Great! Liberating! Truly a marvel of engineering...

Check out the new RE twin spark here --> http://www.royalenfield.com/ThunderbirdTwinspark/home.html

Livin' La Vida Salsa...

The last 4 days have been lots of fun. We had Salsa and Jive week at Great lakes taught by Mr Unni.

26 (13 enthusiastic guys and 13 nervous girls - they were nervous seeing the guys' extreme enthusiasm) of us signed up for the first session which lasted 4 days, 2 hours a day. As was expected, most of the girls took to dancing as ducks take to water... they could atleast float if not swim! We guys on the other hand were like those bomber ships during the 2nd world war - Huge, bulky, lightning fast, full of fire in the belly, ready to shoot - and yet sank right down into the sea :-S

Salsa, even though conceived as a form of street dance, is a sophisticated art form requiring talent and grace. A lot of the fun depends on your partner. If the partner has talent, you can hide behind that glory. Being devoid of any talent, grace was the only thing I could rely upon to salvage my pride. But from what I hear from others who watched me and some other unfortunate souls who danced with me, I scored very high on the ‘Losers Hall-of-Fame' in both characteristics. I guess the problem is that I tend to kinda become all charged up when I hear lively music which makes me go into the realm of "Dappankooth" (a south Indian style of street dancing). Hey! In my defense, its atleast street dancing!!! At the end of it all we broke major myths - that we guys were good at dancing! Nothing could have been farther from the truth.

As for my partner, it was poor Miss Namratha. She is one of the smallest girls in our class (but very bubbly) and I'm no Tiny Tim myself. I think she got stuck with me coz while all the others were searching for partners, they probably dint see her. It was almost like David and Goliath dancing, except here David was a girl... And Goliath, as in the Bible, was me, the dumb Ogre... There was one more difference. In the legend David wins, but here neither of us won even though there was considerable violence and bloodshed... (punches on the face, arms twisting, backs cracking, toes bleeding... all the works!)

You don't believe me? Well on day One, we were taught the basics of Salsa and Jive. So, it was pretty fine except for the bleeding toes and twisting arms. But on the second day, the variations (some, pretty complicated) started. Yet, we danced away for the full 2 hours. Many a time I caught Namratha trying to sneak out of the back door, but me being the charged up guy that I was, I always managed to pull her back in. At one point, we were to do a sequence in Jive where the guy is supposed to balance the girl by the hips and swing her down - The Back Flip (please see pics). Namratha refused to do this step with me. She was scared that if I were to lose my balance and fall on her, she would be stuck to the floor, as flat as a pancake!

On the third day, my partner came to the dance floor and took a Bharatha Naatyam stance, Y'know with hands clasping the hips...

"Dude, we are not here to do Bharatha Naatam!", I told her sarcastically
"I'm not trying to do Bharatha Naatyam dumbo.. You broke my hip yesterday!!", she replied with fire raging in her eyes

Eeeps... I had done it again! Anyway we took it easy that day. Thursday was the grand finale'. The guys were to come dressed in semi formals and the gals in formal party dress.

I took Namratha aside and told her with an air of confidence "Get ready to be transported to a different place!" {Wink! Wink!}
"Where? You mean the hospital??? :-P", came her quick retort

:-D

Some Pics

The Dancers

The Ladies

The Gents

The Back Flip

Free Fall

Round and Round...

Havin' Fun

Behind but not out...

Oh.. Oh.. Oh... im 2 days behind schedule... And still no posts... Not to worry ill be putting up one soon on the Salsa thing soon. With pics too!! 

:)

Will i be able to do it?

My target for this month is to write one article a day... i.e. 31 articles in 31 days. Its 18th today and im fast running out of ideas. Ther is one thing that is pending from my side - the salsa blog. But im still int the process of writing it. 

Im not getting too much time nowadays with all the college work piling up. Looks like ill have to resort to writing serious stuff like this article... {bleach...}

The first Glick Newletter is out :)

 My good friend Vivek and I formed a Photography club at Great Lakes and it has been a good journey so far. One of the ideas we had was for a fortnightly news letter. Im proud to say that the fist one is out. Yes, it might not be perfect, but its a start. Do give us feedback with all your comments... (of course the rendering is not perfect here...)

:)

Copy pasting below the entire NL...

Welcome to Glick Monthly News Letter - July Edition
Foto of the Fortnight Glow Of Nature by Suvadip Das
And some that almost made it ...
Topic for next FOF : " Beach Photography "
SOME RULES AND REGULATIONS GOVERNING THE FOF CHALLENGE ONLY images taken between July 18th, 2008, 00:00 hrs and July 31st, 2008 23.59.59 pm are eligible for this competition. Please DO NOT post any images taken prior to July 18th, 2008. The competition will close midnight of July 31st, 2008. This is so that members do not keep sending in old pictures from their collections. We have incorporated 2 weekends into it. So guys, you have plenty of time :) Be as creative as possible. Please see the Tips & Tricks section for some help on this specific challenge. For some sample beach pics, please visit the Glick Flickr Page Any picture with Date and Time marker in it will be DELETED. There are no limits on image post-processing. Edit to your tastes and the voters will decide if it's too much. To preserve the EXIF-information, it is recommended to use the "Save As"-command instead of "Save for Web". You are allowed to upload a MAXIMUM of THREE shots per competition so please DO NOT send in more than three shots. Please give a title to each image of yours and EXIF details if possible including shutter speed and aperture settings. Also the camera with which you shot it and of course the date. This is most important. Any photograph with out a shot date in the EXIF data will be removed. Those looking for critiques on their pictures may say so in the entry post. Please select one picture among the three that you will be submitting for the critique. Please mention if you would like it as part of the next Newsletter or if you would like individual mail on it. We would recommend that you opt for the Newsletter as any critique on your picture will help others too in the process. If you opt for Newsletter critique but we are unable to comply, we will send you personal critique.
TIPS 'N' TRICKS FOR THE NEXT FOF Remove the Date and Time marker from your pictures. You can do this by changing the setting for this in your camera settings. All details like date and time are already embedded on to the pictures in digital cameras as EXIF data. So you will not loose information on when the picture was taken. Date and Time markers destroy the feel of the picture. For instance, take a look at this picture: (Click to view) An otherwise perfect picture, has been ruined just because of the date and time marker! You can have a watermark with your name with copyright symbol. But be sure to place it at the left or right corner so as not to divert the viewers attention from the main subject. Preferably, put a border around your picture and have the watermark there. Look for focal points: Instead of taking mundane and repetitive shots of the sea try to turn your camera to the life that is in the beach. If possible mix the life with the waters. Try long exposure shots to bring out the mood of the beach at night. Timing is important: The start and end of days can present the best opportunities for shooting at the beach. There will be less people during the mornings but also you'll find that with the sun shining on an angle that you often get more interesting effects of shadows and colors - particularly in the evening when the light becomes quite warm and golden. Watch the Horizon: Employ Rule-Of-Thirds to keep your photos off center for better effect. Take care to get the horizon to be parallel to one of the sides of the frame. Fill Flash: If you're photographing people at the beach as a portrait and it's bright you'll find that they will almost always have shadows on their face (often cast by hats, glasses, noses etc). Switch on your flash and force it to fire when shooting in these situations and you'll find the shadows eliminated and your actual subject is well exposed. But take care not to over expose. If your subjects do look overexposed and you cant decrease the flash strength try moving back a little from your subject and using your zoom to get a tighter framing as this will decrease the impact of the flash. Black and White: Do a little post photo production and see what impact stripping a photo of color has upon it. There's something about a black and white shot at the beach that completely changes the mood and feel of a shot. Beach Photography Tips - Source: http://digital-photography-school.com/blog/10-beach-photography-tips/
============================================================================================================
Graduating from just a click to The Click... Is it just clicking whatever comes your way? For most of us who loves to use the camera, this is the way how it works. We generally click to record, copy pasting the present to be reviewed later. But for some of us it is a passion, more than the picture it is the technicalities that they bother about (of course after the beauty of the snap), a more technically sound picture is a better picture. For most it is just fitting in all the twenty odd people into the frame, but for some it's all about capturing the features of one single face and nothing more. Most of the times we end up asking the question, "why is the picture that I take always looks bad, and the same when taken by others become a master piece". We tend to attribute the causes to the instruments. Is the cost of the camera directly related to the quality of your picture? It depends. Try taking a picture with a costlier camera and see the difference. There is a difference for sure, but for the picture to reach its zenith, there are a lot more things to be taken care. It's all about how you see the subject, or how good you see through the view finder. Is it enough if you start seeing things differently? You can certainly improve if you understand how your camera works and what does each of those buttons and jargons stand for. Let us start with the basics: Exposure: The more the exposure the whiter the picture, the lesser the exposure the darker it is. You might have come across pictures where the face of your subject is simply burned off!! For example a picture that was clicked with your flash on at a close range. Photograph the sun and what you see just a white area with no specific boundaries, we may not find any objects or details of any objects there. This is what we call Overexposure, meaning you simply exposed the photo sensor of you camera for more time than what was required. The other category is where we have the picture having a transparent dark curtain all over, covering the entire picture. E.g.: A photo taken in a room with less light without the flash. This is what under exposure is, meaning "I can't see anything properly, it's all dark!!!" What is the exposure then? Any body would say that it is how long you expose the film. The correct exposure results when optimum amount of light falls on the camera sensor (CCD). And this happens when your aperture and the shutter speed are set at the right values.
Over Exposure	Correct Exposure	Under Exposure
============================================================================================================
A few more helpful Links... http://www.geofflawrence.com/photography_tutorial_exposure.php http://kalyanvarma.net/

Salsa week at Great Lakes...

We have been having 2 hours of salsa and Jive classes all week from monday. After shaking my booty for the 2 hours, im pretty much tired and un able to think. And hence, not able to write too many article.

But rest assured, ill come out with an article on Salsa... for sure...

Some ppl just don't get the hint...

There are many kinds of girls. Some are born beautiful. Some acquire it thru makeup and things. Some have no other option but to do reconstructive surgery! 

In any case, girls just love it when we give them a compliment. They light up... they flash a lovely smile... And if we comment on their lovely smile in the first place, they will smile even more and make you want to change your opinion. 

Like the talk I had with a girl recently. She is all smiles all the time...

Me: "Its good that you can smile at most things

Miss So&So: "Oh! thank You!"

Me: "No! I mean it"

Miss So&So: "Okies..."

Me "Of course it helps that you have a lovely smile" But I just couldn't resist the urge to say.. "In fact its Out of this World!!"

Miss So&So: "Oh! Thanks George!" and she smiled even more...

Ackmed The Dead Terrorist...

One of the funniest videos I've ever seen in my life... And I've become a fan of Jeff Dunham... He is a comedian ventriloquist... And if anyone were to say anything against him... "I kill U!"




:)

Thalathil Dineeshan n Me - Family Photo...

Its the dream of any couple to have a family photo adorn the home. So it was with us. We were so passionate about the idea that we decided to take the photo very early into our marriage - 3 years after we tied the knot! 

Actually Liya's been asking me to do this for a long long time but I've always given some excuse or the other. But it came to a point that I couldn't escape any more. She threatened me with dire consequences if I i din't comply with her request any further (I shall let the reader's imagination run wild on this one)

And thus, I was cornered into taking a family picture with Liya. It was really difficult. Most of all, I had to dress up for the occasion! Shave and stuff y'know! And comb my hair. I broke 3 combs in the process. (Click here to know why!). Then I put on some formal clothes. All-in-all I looked like Humpty Dumpty in pain! 

Then we had to go to a studio and ask the guy to take a pic of us. He immediately asked if I needed to be in the pic too. On hearing a "Yes", he excused himself and went into his dark room. I could hear something that sounded like muffled laughs... But I cannot be sure on that. He came back a few minutes later and I realised I was wrong. Looked like the poor guy might not have been laughing after all... for his eyes were all misty and moist... like he was crying or something...

Anyway... the photographer tried a lot of experiments on me. He tried to make me smile, he tried to get me to show off my dashing good looks... In short, everything that Thalathil Dineshan was asked to do...

So what was the outcome finally? Did we get a good pic done? You bet! Though my face dint come out proper at all... but again, cant really blame the photo for that... 

Like what Innocent said in the clip - "Nilavilakkin Aduthu... Karivilakku vechathu pole"

Or like he said "Photo malsarathinu aayikkan kollam... with adikkuruppu... Velukkan theechathu paandaayi"

:-S 

Wasted...

Oh Man!!! what a day it was... 

I went to meet up with a few friends in the morning and got a blooming headache by afternoon. Slept thru the entire afternoon and evening... and now I'm up sitting here at 11:30PM not feeling the least sleepy... 

but still have a bit of that headache going though...

:|

Swept away...

The cute little thing walked determinantly towards me. My heart skipped a beat. Girls have that effect on me... Especially if they are this cute. I smiled at her... And she smiled back... My heart skipped another beat...

Was she really coming towards me? I looked around. It was just me there. OMG!!! She WAS coming to me. Wooow...

She came and stood by me... I looked up at her glowing face. She was still smiling. I lost all pretences. I believe I even leaked from my mouth... Aaahhh... {Drip Drip Drip}

To top it all off, anything she did, any action, I saw in slow-motion. Like when she shook her head... and her little bun of hair came cascading down. Or like when she blinked... her long eyelashes swished in the air. Or like when she bent down... And said softly to me, in her sweet nightingale voice,
“George, I want to update my T-Shirt size...”

My jaws dropped... Did she just...? But, why...? Didn’t she know I’m married? Oh God!! Give me strength...
“Errr...”

“Can I? Pleeeease?” she cooed

“Are you sure? Why me?” I asked confused

“Well, you are the only one around!”

“Eh?”

“Cummon George... Help me out here please...”

“Ummm... What is it exactly that you require me to do?” I started sweating profusely...

“Well, just open it!”

“What!? No Way! Leave me alone please!” I implored...

“Dude... What are you getting all worked up for? I just wanted to update my T-Shirt size on the server for the college T-Shirts!! Can you open that excel sheet??”

“Oh! Is that all you wanted? Hee... :-D Sure! Ill help you with that!”

Proves it, doesn't it? We men seldom think beyond a certain critical point...

:-D

The modern day bullies...

Child: "WWaaaaaahhhhh.... WWaaaaaahhhhh....."

Mom: "What is it Beta?"

Child: "I want my lolly..."

Mom: "Beta, you are not old enough to have a lolly..."

Child: "WWaaaaaahhhhh.... want my lolly..."

Mom: "Beta, look around... even your elder brother has not got a lolly..."

Child: "But... but..."

Mom: "Now, stop sounding like a moped and calm down..."

Child: "Mama.. when will i get a lolly?

Mom: "It will be atleast 2 years from now... when you have grown enough teeth bite the lolly"

2 years later...

Child: "Mom... are you getting me my lolly?"

Mom: "You are still not ready for a lolly..."

Child: "I am too... and don't think i dint know about you giving lolly to big bro after just 1 year!"

Mom: "Now, that was different... he deserved it. Dint you see the menacing teeth he had? You also got bitten once right?"

Child: "Yea, but now i have such teeth. See? {EEeeee}"

Mom: "Hmm so i see..."

Child: "So, are you giving me my lolly or what?"

Mom: "Well, what did Aunty Hira say?"

Child: "She told me that i should not be sad about not getting lolly this year!"

Mom: "Don't you think you should listen to Aunty Hira? Afterall she is a dentist. She might pluck out a few of your teeth if you don't"

Child: "Oh No you don't! Don't try that old trick on me... Im not falling for it!"

Mom: "I'm not pulling any trick Beta.. Honest!" {crossed fingers}

Child: "If you don't give me my lolly, I'm going to shift in with Kanom Aunty"

Mom: "Oh! I'm sure you won't!"

2 days later Mom got this note from the Child...

"I shall be shifting in with Kanom Aunty. She has promised me 2 lollies and also ginger sweet every other day! See you. I shall be clearing my stuff out this weekend"

Mom was in panic mode. The kids today have a very bad habit of doing wht they say... and she can't even do anything about it coz if she tried, the kid would call child support!

Mom: "Ok Beta. All the lollies are out of stock at the moment. So you will have to wait for a couple of days before i can get it for you ok?"

Child: "Well, you better! else im outta here..."

And so it is with kids (big and small) nowadays...

:-S

Hint: Look at label for clues.

The story of the ultimate creation...

In the beginning there was darkness, God and a whole lot of his gas...

Then God said “Let there be light” and a few clusters of his gas caught fire and its been burning ever since (makes you wonder doesn't it!?)

This made God say “Good Heavens!!” and thus the heavens were created, everything else became the earth.

He quickly made the plants and the animals and the days and the nights and the stars and the moon and everything.

Just when he should have stopped, he thought let me create this living wonder which walks on 2 legs.

And thus he created the Chicken and the rest they say... is KFC, the worlds tastiest corporation...

Ahhh... Finger Lickin' Good... 

Or in other words... Pure poetry...

:)

Birthday Blues...

I met Smrithi when we were studying in 9th std. Though she hated my guts in the first year of our acquaintance, we quickly went on to become best of friends. We became such thick friends that we would spent every free time we had at school chatting with each other and then come home and be on the phone for another 2 hours more. And this used to be a daily affair. Even though we went on to doing different things in life (she became a dentist while I am an engineer), our friendship has not wavered over the years.

Smrithi used to be called ‘Kandu’ short for ‘Kandamrugham’ (hippopotamus). I don’t know how the name originated, but I cud definitely relate to it. She used to stomp all over me. One small flick with her arms, and I would fly half way across the room and land in a heap I some obscure corner. The only time I got to kick her ass was during exam times when I used to teach her physics, chemistry and math. And boy did I make good the opportunity! But it never did her any damage, she being a Kandu and all.

I could probably fill an entire volume the size of the Mahabharatha writing about Smrithi, but for this piece ill stick to one major bone of contention between us – the issue of remembering birthdays.

We boys are mostly bad at remembering important dates and so for the last 12 years I’ve invariably got a call from her on 8th July without fail...

Smrithi: “Hii..”
Me: “Hey.. Wazzaup”

Smrithi: “Nothing much”
Me: “Alrite.. Cool”

Smrithi: “So, did you forget something?”
Me: “Errr....”

Smrithi: “Today is 8th of July”
Me: “Errr....”

Smrithi: “What’s special about today?”
Me: “Hmm... Its 4 days after 4th of July?”

Smrithi: “Grrr... No! Its my Brithday!!”
Me: “Oh! Ok!”

Smrithi: “Then say the magic words”
Me: “Umm.. ‘Give me a treat’?”

Smrithi: “Ooff... you are impossible!”
Me: “I know :-D”

This year I decided that past was past and that I would sprout a new leaf. On the 8th of July, as the clock struck 12AM, I sent her a warm SMS wishing her. I dint want to call her, not because I dint want to disturb her tranquil sleep, but cos I dint want to disturb and wake up her really cute twin 2 year old boys.

I dint get a reply until 7 Am. I expected an outflow of emotion (Yea.. She is very emotional). I expected her to cry her heart out. I expected a truck load of adoration. I expected sincere thanks. I expected to be called for a fabulous dinner as a token of appreciation. I expected all this, afterall I DID finally remember her birthday!! (For once!)

But when the reply SMS came, it simply said “Who’s this?”

:-S

P.S: Actually her husband bought her a new mob and when she transferred her contacts, my number was somehow missed out... Atleast that what she says... :-?

Cooking Class...

This is a story much much before my time... of when my Appa and Amma got married. Appa was doing his MD at Calicut Medical College when they got married and Amma was practicing. 

Since she had a bit of time off after her practice, Amma used rush home to experiment with new recipes that she came across in magazines and the likes. Infact, she still has a huge collection of recipes that she has tried and refined to perfection over the years. But in those early days her experiments were far from perfect and generally ended up burning a hole in the vessel used for the cooking. Her kitchen was akin to a high-school chemistry lab complete with everything from blasts to fumes to pungent smells to charcoaled faces!

The Guinea Pig for her cooking experiments was obviously my poor dad. But he generally put on a bold face and took all the torture in its stride. After all, he had to eat that or go to bed hungry. And there is a limit to how hungry you can stay! Besides, all the stray dogs in the area had already fled to nearby villages.

It was in this context that he was confronted one evening by one of Amma's latest experiments. It looked like some exotic soup, like some chinese preparation. It had chicken pieces and bean stalk and carrots and rice all mixed in a spicy gooey liquid. Though it dint look like much, Appa took a sip to taste it. And it tasted good. So he finished the entire soup and when Amma came back from the kitchen, he handed over the plate for a refill saying...

"Great Soup! What is it called?"

"Biriyani!!!" came Amma's irritated reply...

:-)

The final call

On a ring of fire

I wait, for it to burn thru

On the ring I sit

waiting for the final call...

There is no turning back

I know it to be impossible

To seek what cannot be gained 

is a folly we people oft make...

What for is this life

of utter useless waste

To be of someone great

is but something quite afar...

Why then must I live on

if not to be a burden on this beautiful earth

Hence I must travel

into the unknown world...

Into the world of eternal calm...

TOI teach

I got this mail from a friend of mine Aanand and felt it to be an important issue that i nee to pu out there. So if anyone feels they can help, Please do so.

Thanks

"

Times of India (TOI) had always been trying to do something positive and this time they have come up with an amazing initiative of Teach India. This initiative is aimed at helping the underprivileged children who cannot go to schools. While we boast of our technological progress and massive GDP growth, we must not forget that India still have a very sizeable population which is illiterate and Below Poverty Line (BPL) living under inhuman conditions. As people who had been benefited by the progress, I think it is time for us to give back to the society and i feel Teach India is the best way of doing that.
 
Many of us would have had the wish of helping out the poor and needy but would have not known the way of doing it. TOI has now come with the brilliant initiative of Teach India where you can help to teach the real underprivileged Indians. This initiative is being kick started in the traditional metropolitan cities of Chennai, Delhi, Mumbai and Kolkata which has a very high number of poor people. All you need to do is to spend some time of your weekend for this noble initiative. You need to first go to the website http://www.teach.timesofindia.com/index.aspx to register yourself as a volunteer to teach the kids. The necessary information regarding the Teach India initiative can be obtained here http://www.teach.timesofindia.com/about_teach_india.aspx. Alternatively you can also read through the free TOI electronic newspaper http://epaper.timesofindia.com/

I think we the younger generation of India are really eager to do something positive for the country's upliftment and Teach India is indeed a wonderful initiative which can be used to realize it. Do please join the initiative and try to do your small favor to the kids who would really like to come up in their life.

"

Mark Anthony - A contemporary speech

I've always wondered... What would it be like if Shakespeare were born to this age and time... Of course, it would mean that mankind would never have got a chance to experience his plays (since he would be busy writing blogs to give a damn...), but it does make you think dosen't it... Well, I've taken the liberty of translating a famous piece from Julius Caesar. 

First, the original...

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:..."

Now, the modern...

"Dudes, Dudettes, and Y'all, Jst chill awrite;

Caeser dude's goin 6 feet under, but I'm not here to give him the Props.

The dude was kinda wicked n we'll all remember that;

Righteous! is kinda lame n so we forget;

Ditto with Caesar. The Puffed-up dude Brutus 

told you Caesar was like ambitious or whatever:..."

On hindsight, I think its best to leave it Shakespeare where he belongs... back in those times when english made sense (!!??)

:-S

Thalathil Dineeshan n Me - First Night

Liya and I got married on April 3rd, 2005 after a long courtship and an almost disastrous engagement and the confusions that followed. After the wedding we made our way to my ancestral home located in a far off interior village in south India.

Since I’m the living, walking Thalathil Dineshan, I need not stress the fact that Murphy’s law (“Anything that has to go wrong, will go wrong”) applies to me at every turn. And so it was for our first night as well. For a change ill let you watch what happened to Thalathi Dineshan first before getting into details my own plight...

Likewise a series of incidents happened on that fateful night that has left a scar on our lives.

Liya came to the room with a glass of warm milk in her hands. The custom is for the husband to drink half of it and then give it to the wife to finish it symbolising mutual sharing. Me being a gentleman thru and thru, offered the glass of milk first to Liya. In one big gulp she downed the entire glass leaving me high and dry... And me licking my lips in an attempt at savouring the taste of atleast a bit of the milk!

No matter... What was done was done... No time to mull over it... After all it was time to get busy. No time for small talk. But Murphy’s law took over. There was a power outage. As I mentioned before the place was an interior village. I knew that the power would not be back until the next day. And being in the middle of a rubber estate makes the entire place pitch dark. So dark that I couldn’t even see the back of my palm... Ok, maybe that’s coz I’m dark. But I couldn’t see Liya either... And she is pretty fair!!

But no need to panic. We had a five pronged strategy at home for exactly such an eventuality, especially since its a common occurrence.

As the first line of defense we dipped into out stock of candles, and found to our great delight that... we were all out of candle sticks! Great!!
Ok, over to the next trick – A gas light! But wouldn’t you believe it... We were all out of LP Gas! (even though I never am!!). Is this a wedding house or what?
Third strategy – Electric Torches... But we knew that wouldn’t last long. Damn!
Fourth – our emergency lamp. But no one seemed to have charged it. In a last heave of sparkling that gave out. Jeeps!!
The last and final strategy was to switch on the generator. That had to be a breeze right? It was even a self start one. So no need of any heaving and puffing to get it started. Well, apparently it had other ideas of its own... on that night, try as we might, the damn thing just wouldn’t start at all!! @#$%&^*@$#%^&*

So after exhausting all five strategies and myself too in the process, I found my way back to my bedroom... to the loud snores emanating from Liya (Thinking back, was it a bit unnaturally loud? I wonder...). I was so tired, I just dropped into bed and the next thing I remember is waking up the next morning next to a sleeping, yet non-snoring Liya.

That’s the wonderful story of my exciting and adventurous first night. And to think... My bro-in-law was sad that he couldn’t “arrange” my room for me. He needn't have been... After all providence had played its biggest ever trick on me!!

P.S: If you are wondering, the generator started on the very first try the next morning!

:-S

Spa treatments - The Modern Way!

Ancient India was a prosperous land. Back then, queens (and sometimes even common man) used to bathe in pure skimmed milk mixed with sandalwood paste and food was prepared with the choicest ingredients from all over the world laced with pure gold foils! 

The age of such extravagance is all over. Nowadays people cannot afford to live in the lap of such luxury. There is a general shortage of most food items and a it would be a crime to mankind to waste food.

But we need to keep up with our traditions right? So in modern India, milk has been substituted with something else... a beverage that flows ever more than before, thanks to all the Kingfishers and McDowells... 

Yes! Alcohol. Now, if you ask people who drink, they will expound the virtues of the drink. They will call it Amruth. They will talk about its healing powers. Apparently it helps every organ in the body. (All this is hosh-posh and there have been many studies conducted to this prove the bad effect of alcohol in any quantity. Please click here for details.)

So you dont believe me when i say Alcohol is the modern substitute for Milk-Sandalwood combo? Then why else is there this sign posted at the Thripparappu Waterfalls, that too by Govt. officials?

Ofcourse, you need to be naked (Jetty is Prohibited) for the alcohol to really really take effect and give you that fresh glow...

P.S: If you are still wondering... LIQUR is obviously french! (The indian Govt is very pro-western in its approach)

:-S

History... to each his own..

I’ve noticed that teaching history to kids is quite an exercise. If you can introduce a little bit of humour, intrigue, spice and everything nice, they will lap it up. Ofcourse you need to be prepared for questions. Patience is a virtue. And you really don’t learn that until you have a kid. Ok, I don’t have one myself (Kid, I mean), but I’ve seen others who have. Its amazing to see how someone who is ready to blast off into space for the slightest mishap has an almost Gandhiji like patience when confronted by a child.

It is the same with Liya. Explaining history to her is a challenge as well. She needs three magic ingredients for any historical event - drama, sex and violence. In her world, unless all three elements are present, its not valid history. The narrator on the other hand needs a level head and a lot of patience... Both of which, sadly, I lack in!

A recent talk proceeded thus:

Liya: “There’s an American holiday this week”
Me: “Ya, 4th July, Independence day”

Liya: “Sheesh... stupid people... Don’t they know independence day is on August 15th!”
Me: “Liya, its American Independence day”

Liya: “Why do they need independence day? Weren’t they all born there?”
Me: “Ya, but they were colonists from England”

Liya: “So they just went to America and setup shop?”
Me: “Ya, but along the way they looted and plundered the natives there too” {Sex, violence implied}

Liya: “Oh Good! So that’s why they know English!”
Me: “Ya!”

Liya: “But who did they want independence from?”
Me: “The Crown”

Liya: “Eh?”
Me: “The English rulers!”

Liya: “Oh! Ok! So what did they do?”
Me: “Organised the Boston Tea Party”

Liya: “That’s all? One little tea party?”
Me: “That and a small revolution that followed”

Liya: “What a boring story!”
Me: “The real story goes like this - The Crown increased taxes on tea that was shipped to America. Bohut Nainsafi Thi. People dint have enough tea to drink. So they took to alcohol and had many more babies” {drama, sex impied}

Liya: “Woow... Exciting! Then what happened?”
Me: “When the ships carrying tea bricks arrived from England, they dumped it all in the sea and then all the colonists in Boston, including Men and Women, intoxicated by all the alcohol jumped in and had a big orgy!” {sex implied}

Liya: “Ahh! That’s more like it! I knew it wouldn’t have been as bland as a tea party! Was the King and Queen present too?”
Me: “Well, I believe they had a parallel party at the English side... But that involved beheading of a few East India Company officials!” {drama, violence implied} {Ill say anything to make my Liya's life interesting}

Liya: "So thats why we got independence too!"
Me: "Meaning?"

Liya: "Cos they beheaded al lthe East India men dumbo!"
Me: "Well, Im pretty sure they dint behead ALL the company officials and DEFINITELY not all the men from east India!"

Liya: “Fine! Then what happened?”
Me: “The American revolution followed, but that’s a different story. Will tell you later”

Liya: “Hmm.. Ok.. But don’t forget to tell me ok?”
Me: “Sure!”

Liya: “American history is so interesting!”
Me: “Yes.. Very! Especially from this angle!”

Liya: “Yeah... Now I cant wait to ask my client for insider info on all the tea party orgy!”
Me: {Oooopppsss!}

:-S

What a life!

For the last 2 days I’ve been having writers block. I don’t have anything to write or to report. Normally I write about day to day affairs or about my school days. Im blank now... And cant even seem to write straight.

This makes me wonder... Is this all that has happened to me all these 28 years? What a dismal life!

:-(

Teaching the intellectuals...

Intellectuals and researchers are so caught up in their work that it is often very difficult to communicate with them. Normal words and meanings dont apply in their sphere of thought. They have their own language... their own methods...

After searching far and wide for a way of getting to them, i found the answer inscribed on a friend's T-Shirt... A path to explain The Meaning of Life in a way that they can comprehend... using commas...

:-)