Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The real banking woes

Letter from a customer to the bank!
======================

Dear Sir,

In view of the current developments in the banking industry, if one of my cheques is returned marked 'insufficient funds', does that refer to me or to you?

Yours faithfully,

Customer

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Overheard...

I was out with a friend on day when he got a call. The call lasted just a few seconds but as it progressed he sounded more and more alarmed at something. 

It went like this...

Frnd: "Helloo"
.....

Frnd: "This is he. May I know who is calling?"
.....

Frnd: "Oh! You don't say!"
.....

Frnd: "You don't say!!"
.....

Frnd: "You don't say!!!"
.....

I was getting worried just looking and listening to him talk on the phone. What could be the matter? What is it that the other person is saying that is getting my friend all worked up? So many questions...

After he cut the call I asked him with all the sincerity and empathy that I could muster...

Me: "I hope every thing is OK. Who was it?"

Frnd: "Oh! He didn't say!"

!!!!!!

:-S

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Dwarfed amongst Giants!

In the village there is an ominous whisper to be heard.. among the trees, among the gathered folk. “They” have landed…

Everything is still for a moment… then screams, confusion and mayhem rule the roost. The fort is sealed and doubled up with sentries. Every able bodied soldier is bought out into the fray to fight. The children are sent to the safe confines of the dungeons. If you listen carefully you can hear their muffled cries. And the frightened fort awaits… their DOOM…

Every ear is tuned to the familiar clickety-click of hoofs. Once they hear that, they know their end is but hours away… Eventually the worst is confirmed… “They” have reached the gates.

The fight ensues… The fort puts up a brave fight. Slowly but surely the defences fail, one after another. Then in one final blow the fort falls… The prince is bought to his knees. But “They” are merciful… ruthless, but merciful… “They” grant the prince his freedom in exchange for treasures and submission. Having ensured victory and collected their trophies, “They” ride out into the sunset… In their Black Stallions, their mind set on their next target… But none know who or where.. And this keeps the princes in the neighbouring counties guessing and confused… Awaiting their turn, unable to defend, unable to win…

Who are “They” you ask? Well, not the Norman conquerers. But close… “They” are conquerors alright! And “They” have been relentlessly at their task for some time now… Leaving behind death and destruction wherever “They” set foot.

“They” arrive in small groups… To fight for glory and fame. “They” are trained to feel no pain, to fight till their last drop of blood, to their last breath. To do or die… The strength that makes them such a formidable foe, a force to be reckoned with.

“They” bulldoze enemy lines, leave behind carnage. “They” Bring back gold, glory and trophies, encrusted in gold, silver and precious gems to their Alma Mater.

So, what does it feel to have the best of the breed in your midst? What does it feel to look up and see glory? What does it feel to stand along side Giants?

Ask me, and I shall tell you!  Ask me, and I shall tell you stories of their victories! Ask me, and I shall deliver the victory song, with the war cry and the dances.

Ask me, and I shall tell you what it feels to be DWARFED among GIANTS.

And I’m proud of being part of the clan…

To see full (and growing) list of their conquests click –>http://greatlakes.edu.in/studentAchievements.php 

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Venucians!

Women have always had a special effect on me, generally good... and I in turn have had a special effect on them too and I can vouch that atleast sometimes its good... 

Such a special effect happened today evening right after I met up with Miss D.I and Mr H while on my quest for that elusive electrical shop.

I had parked my bike opposite Adayar Odyssey before i went to Spencers. After my shopping binge, I walked across to my bike. Just as I reached it, She came in her pink Scooty and parked in right next to mine. She had had her helmet on and had a shawl cover most of her face so as to protect it from the dust i reckon... 

I stood there next to my bike, fiddling with my set of keys... just waiting for her to take off her helmet... 

She took it off, and remover the shawl from her face... Her hair previously tied in a bun unravelled... It was like a beautiful cascading waterfall... and I stood there watching her... my mouth open... The most beautiful thing on planet earth had just descended from the heavens

Guys in the audience will agree with me when I say that you will have been away from your girl a bit too long when you find that ever other girl you meet is goddess Venus... and I guess I have been away a bit too too long.. so much so that I find that some of the girls in my class are remotely Venuses! Eyww!

Anyway, getting back to my Venus... I mean story... She had parked her bike a bit too close and when she saw my admiring her beauty (read staring at her) she mistook it (luckily for me) that I was waiting for her to move... 

The lady that she was, she immediately moved her Scooty a bit for me to go... I guess she dint find me as attractive... I took the hint and backed out my bike but not before thanking her for her kind gesture...

I was just about to leave, dejected, broken hearted, when it happened... My world shook... and it wasn't such a great thing either... I felt a hot burning pain shoot up my leg... I turned around and found my Lady in the pink Scooty fallen at my feet... literally... 

My first instinct was to pick her up and tell her she dosen't have to beg me to be her boyfriend (I was more than willing ;) ) but then I got back from cloud 9 to planet earth to realise that she had just fallen over... 

I showed true chivalry... even though I was about to fall over, I took it on myself to pick her up and her scooter all the while doing a balancing act lest I should fall over and meet my death at the oncoming traffic... but such mundane things dint matter... I was after-all helping a goddess... what more can a guy ask for... 

She got up, brushed herself and said sorry a thousand times... "I forgot that I din't put the side stand, I'm so sorry"

Being the gentleman that I am, I on my part brush away all that and said its fine and all that... after-all, I reasoned, it was my charm that had made her forget to put the stand... I am to be blamed I told myself... I half hoped she would tend to me as caringly as I had done with her... 

Well, that was not to be... all she did was pick up her stuff and walk across the road to the guy waiting for her (who I might add was laughing seeing all this, while it was I who helped her al all)... Women dont know whats good for them even if it hits them in the face!

Now, as I write this, Im nursing the wounds that I sustained in this entire debacle... I literally lost a hand and foot to that lady... 

:-S

Eyww...

So I had been out searching for an electrical shop today and ended up buying some unrelated stuff from Spencers. Just as I was entering Spencers I chanced to see Mr H and Miss D.I having a cake and eating it too... 

I walked up to them in the hope that I might be offered a piece of it but soon realised from Miss D.I how quickly someone could gobble up food when faced with and adversary such as myself...

Anyway, as soon as she was able to speak (for her mouth was full of the snack that she dint want to share with me, which gave her the look of a puffed up stuffed toy) she said:

D.I: "Hi Georgei.. "
Me: "Hi D.I, Hi H"

D.I: "So what are you doin here?" 

She had a sly smile on her face, which made me wonder if it was due to something she wanted to tell me or if it was something to do with the fact that she had just gobbled up some snack (without sharing with me BTW) that was caught in her throat!

Me: "Oh just like that... had a bit of shopping to do..." I replied innocently and honestly (2 qualities that abound in me as can be seen from this very admission...)

D.I: "Who are you with?" She said pointing at a couple of, well, not so impressive girls behind me

Me: "What?! Them? Eyww... No way! I'm here alone!"

D.I: "Really? Eyww? That too from you?" she replied again with that sly smile...

Me: "Dude... I might not be all that good looking but I do have my standards, y'know... I'll settle for lower... but should be atleast your level"

;)

The book (or post) of revelation...

This is one of three posts that I plan to put up today. (Note the italicised plan) You can find the other 2 here (blog 2) and here (blog 3)

This first one is kind of a revelation... like the one Jesus had when he entered the holy waters of the Jordan River for his baptism... (not that i had to wade thru any of the holy murky waters still logged in some areas of chennai after the rains last week)

But readers please don't misunderstand me when I say this... this is not some post that is any different from my others... meaning it does not deviate from my usual nonsensical self and say anything particularly pathbreaking... 

For the past few days I've been running from pillar to post (or more correctly junction to junction) in this great city of Chennai trying to locate a teeny weeny electrical shop! And I have given up... 

I declare - There are NO electrical shops in Chennai! Serious!

All you wanna be entrepreneurs - this is your chance... just share a bit of that profit you make with this poor blogger who is jobless and ends up writing these useless posts!!!

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

DDOB

Let me warn you readers in advance.. This is a time pass blog... I realised that I hadnt written anyhing in so many days that I thought ill write a time pass blog just for he heck of it. 

BTW, DDOB stands for Daily Dose of Bakhwas! and BTW stands for By The Way (just in case u dint know)

Anyway i write just for the heck of it, so y should this be any different? right? Infact im not even going to bother to correct the spelling erros during my typing.

Well, comming to te poit, the reason i havnt written any thing is 

1) ive been in the middle of exams
2) all the ppl arond seems to have caught on to the idea that if they say or do anything in front of me, ill put it in a blog. So nowadays the moment I go into a room, all of them take cover of scurry away from the place. 

Anyways, im finished with my bakhwas for the day.

Signing off

ME!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Rain Rain go away...

There are rains... and then there are RAINS!!!

RAINS is what we witness at channai for almost a week due to a cycloning depression in the Bay of Bengal. And to say that we were all in a state of great depression by the end of this ordeal will be putting it a bit too lightly!

Chennai had been inundated by incessant rains. By friday all the surrounding dams were so full of water that the govt. had no option but to open them and let the water out which meant that almost all the roads in chennai and especially the low lying areas witnessed floods. Infact the floods were so severe that the road ways were turned into waterways and the govt pressed inflatable motor boats in service along on the roads... Yes! thats right on the roads... to ferry stranded people to drier ground!

The scene in front of our college was so spectacular that it gave a different meaning to the name "Great Lakes"!

A few Pics...













 :-!



Friday, November 28, 2008

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Frugality...

Woke up at 6 AM
Class at 7:30 AM
Too sleepy to get out of bed

Slept for another 15 mins
Have to get my ass out of bed
Can't miss class

Got up and brushed
That really din't help wake me up
Decided a bath could do the trick

Dragged myself to the bathroom
Switched on the heater
In the mean time, took a quick 5 Mins standing snooze

Boiling hot water burnt thru my feet
Danced around a bit
Something out of a tribal ritual

Poured the warm water on me
Ohh! That felt good
Felt even more sleepy!

Reached out for my soap
A sever pain shot up my arms
My fingers were bleeding

What the @#$%&&*@& 
Who keeps a razor blade in the soap box??
But it woke me up all the same

I peered in to the soap box for the weapon
but dint find any there
All I saw was Mr V's Cintol soap

Then I realised
The weapon in question was indeed Mr V's soap
It had worn down so thin that it had the thickness and sharpness of a razor blade

Is this what happens to one when you give up our job to come and do an MBA???
Frugality, thy name is Mr V!

The Weapon in Question!


Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Saving Grace!

I was fast running out of ideas. Frantically, I flipped thru the innumerous pages that I hoped held the key to salvation from my woes. Though the air-conditioning was at full blast, I could feel the sweat trickle down my brows. In the 10 minutes I sat there stumped, I let out so much water that it would have looked as if it rained inside the hall... and to think, it wasn't all sweat!!

I had, but 15 minutes to complete the one problem I felt would decide my fate for the Optimisation Techniques examination I was sitting thru. If i din't have the answer to this, I risked failing for the exam...

I search high and dry all over the book... and by the end of the search, I was even more low and wet...

I rackled my brains for something I might have missed... and realised I had very little brains to rackle in the first place...

I concentrated hard in trying to remember something that the Prof might have said... but i had never paid attention in his class to begin with...

I even prayed... 

And yet I could think of nothing... I was as blank as a frog staring at a flash light... and on top of it, I was starting to croak from dehydration from all the sweating and wetting I was doing...

I started getting fidgety... and the Dementors sensed it too... all three of them swooped down on me... the bunch of them... to suck out the last bit of life I had in me. I could barely breathe... not with all three of them breathing down my neck... everything started going black... I could feel the happiness go out of my life...

I knew I had to escape the grip of the Dementors. I looked around for some way of escape... something that would deliver me from the creatures... thru the corner of my eye I could see the rest of my classmates in a state of shock at my plight... but they seemed powerless to do anything at all... they knew that if they as much as moved an inch from their position, the creatures would be upon them in an instant...

It is in times like that this that I feel God does exist... just when I felt all hope was lost, I caught sight of her... her face gave me the small light of hope that I was looking for... I felt all my strength and happiness return in full vigour... and the sight of hope and happiness on my face had the strength of the Petronus Charm... In an instant, it drove all the Dementors away from me...

Her face... Miss S's face... that's what saved me... Her face showed me the path... It gave me the idea I was looking for... 

All I needed to do was put in a Dummy Supply variable!!!

:D

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Klarity is key

"Shoo Shoo"

We were in the middle of a class when she started this Shoo-ing business... 

I looked across to her, half expecting something out of loony tunes. I'd always thought of her as one of the characters of the show which came alive due to some hand of god - something like Daffy Duck. As usual she had her arms flying about as if swatting flies... but only this time the expected flies were not anywhere there...
The Prof went on "If you were given the choice of starting a business, what would it..."

"Shoo Shoo" 

Man.. She even cut the Prof short! I always knew she was a bit shushy in the head... but not to the extend of Shoo-ing when a Prof is speaking! And to top it off, she had both her arms waving about now... But where were the flies? What was she Shoo-ing at?

The Prof regained his composure after this moment's distraction and continued with the lecture. The class went on smoothy for some time after that (mainly due to the fact that Mr A and I had pinned her down) till just before the break the Prof again asked some question related to the subject.

I need to be blamed I guess, if you ask me... In a moment's weakness I let go of my iron grip on her and she shot up instantly 

"Sir Shoo"

There ought to be special institutions for such people is what I say. I mean, yes, we were due for a well deserved break, but that doesn't give you the right to go Shoo-ing every other person, let alone a Prof!

"Miss, is there something I can help you with?" I could see the restraint in his voice as our Prof tried to make sense of her behaviour. 

"Shoo Sir, Shoo"

Everyone in class, including the Prof, looked at her... scandalized... and I went down on my knees imploring "Why God? Why??"

At the rate at which she was Shoo-ing, she sure was on a sure shot way out of the college. 

"If you need a break, just tell me. Its not polite Shoo-ing people" and the Prof gave us a break.

I had a good mind to strangle her... what was her problem anyway! The way she was going about the whole thing was enough to make you think she was some wayside Jilebi seller in her pervious birth... or maybe that was what she was doing before joining our college and making like all Shooy for the rest of us!

"Dude! What's your damn problem? You cannot just go Shoo-ing Profs u'know??!!" 

"Oye! Get Lost! I'm not Shoo-ing him! Im telling him my business idea... I trying to tell him that I wanna start a Shoe Store!!"

That my friend, in a nut shell, is the ever effervescent Miss S! 

:-S

Monday, November 03, 2008

Power play...

Poor Mr B got this mail from our Honor Code Committee after today's class.

"Dear fellow Champ,

This mail is to inform you that you have committed the infelicitous sin of attending the elective class an entire hour after the lecture commenced. The disturbance caused by you behavior has cause much pain and anguish for the professor and the other students present. 

As such the students were in their most inner self during their afternoon siesta while the Prof was rambling on about god-knows-what when you unceremoniously barged in disturbing the peace and tranquility of the highly valued Gurukul system of education at our institute. 

Not only did you disturb one and all, you went ahead and ridiculed the prof by giving a lecture on something connected to the subject. Though we admit that your lecture was much better than that of the prof, we regret to inform you that your attempt at terrorising the 84 students present at the time in class by imparting knowledge will not be taken lightly.

An even bigger sin is that you had the audacity of walking out of class after the Prof asked you to stop your crap. It is one thing walking into class and getting us remotely interested in a subject but quite another leaving us in that state of awakening.

This kind of behavior is highly frowned upon and is deemed a punishable offense under section 157 of the Guest Lecture Penal Code (GLPC) of the G. L. I. M. Honor Code (GLHC) inviting a maximum punishment fine of Rs 10000/- (Rs Ten Thousand Only) or Permanent expulsion from the institute or most likely both. 

If you fail to adhere by the rules and regulations of this institute by not paying the fine and accepting expulsion, you shall be deemed a revolutionary and shall be dealt with accordingly. You shall be ordered to sit for 25 three hour sessions of L&SCM. 

If you are not dead by that time or have not committed suicide, we shall put you thru 35 back-to-back sessions of Personality Plus. That, we are sure, will straighten you out - literally!

Looking forward to all cooperation from your side.

Have a lovely day
Regards

HCC"

And to think, Mr B was never a part of this elective and just came due to special invitation from the Prof to take a lecture on that subject!

HCC kii Jai!
HCC kii Jai!
HCC kii Jai!

:)

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

She's got the look...

"Hey Georgie!" It was Miss Sw. 

Miss Ni and Miss Sw were standing at the juice point as I approached them.

Me: "Hi Sw, Ni... Whats up?"

Miss Sw: "Oh nothing much! Say, do you realise that you have become very thin recently?"
Miss Ni: "Yeah! How come?"

I could read it from her voice that she wanted the secret to my eternal youth!

Me: "Just thin?"

Miss Sw: "Then? What else?"

Me: "Well, dont you mean thin and handsome?

Miss Sw: "Why!? FAT people are not good looking or what?"

Me: "Well, I would never said that! Infact, I think you are extremely Beautiful! So are you Ni!"

Someone has said "Hell has no fury like a woman scorned". And considering the look she gives me nowadays when I see her and call out "Hi Beautiful!!", I think that is an understatement!

People around us on hearing me call her beautiful smirk thinking "Like he has a chance with her.. the married A******"... Well Well, if only they knew! 

Atleast now they will...
 
:)

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Headlines Today!

"WHAT!? WHY!? HOW!?"

"Eww... look at that!"

"Yuck! What a sight!"

"What's that sticking out of that thing!?"

"How can something so big and round be so sickening!?"

"Ohh... I think I'm gonna be sick!"

"Arrhh!... I think I'm having a heart attack..."

These were but some of the reactions I got when I went to class on the morning of 4th october, 2008... Now before you crazy heads out there think that I had something sticking out from somewhere let me tell me confirm I dint! (have it sticking out I mean!!)

Ahh! 3rd October, 2008! A day to remember! 2 Exams back-to-back, 3 case studies, 3 assignment submissions, 2 classes, 1 presentation preparation... all in the span of a mere 8 hours of college time... ofcourse for us students, it was a matter of days and days of preparation... not to mention sleepless nights... groups of 5-6 working together towards the common goal - Come out alive by the end of the day! 

Some one told me that day "George, 3rd October is one day we will never forget in our lives" True! We will never ever forget that day. Especially me... since 3rd October, THE most fantastic day yet in our MBA studies, also happened to be my Birthday!!! And what a way to celebrate the day!

The reason for the comments in the beginning were due to a fit of insanity I had after this day... What did I do? I went tonsured my head! I guess I was half expecting the barber fellow to slip and cut off my head in the process... but unluckily for me, he was a through professional... 

Now I've gone from Brahman to Bhrandan! (mad man) See pic below...

And my roommate Mr. Vivek also calls me "Shrek" now... and he also took a pic of mine to prove the point! Please see below!

:-S
Brahman to Bhrandan!

The Shrek Avatar

MBA... taking its toll on me!

Man Oh Man Oh Man... MBA is TUFF! and that is stating it a bit lightly...

Its been days since i got a decent amount of sleep in one continuous stretch... its been 3AM to 12PM days for so many days that i cant remember... I dont even know what day of the week or what date it is anymore... Ive lost track of the concept of time... its like im in some hyper space continuum where time and space has lost relevance... even material things like food have become a myth where living life on the edge literally translates to living life on coffee!

I only know what all classes and assignments and submissions and case studies and presentations and exams are there for the next day! And all of these things are there every day now... either in Marketing Management or Strategic Management or Optimisation Techniques or Entrepreneurship or Human Resource Management or Government, Business and Society or or or or ... and so the grind continues...

MBA is certainly taking its toll on me... on all fronts... personal, professional and student life...

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Mysteries of life...

I generally don't eat in the mornings and afternoons. Yes, I only have dinner. Its part of my brilliant strategy to reduce my baby flab and get my weight to a more manageable enough number so that I may haul myself up to the 3rd floor of my college. 

But for the last 2 days I've been having certain pangs... cravings... for food. Infact I find that I'm not able to resist food, especially piping hot and spicy food. For example, today morning I was walking to college and the mesmerising smell of masala dosa from the nearby tea stall forced me to turn around and order a dosa. Even today and yesterday during lunch, I could not but resist the food that is served at the canteen here (even though the food is nothing to write home about!). At night I'm not able to keep myself from preparing those delicious Maggie Noodles.

I was discussing this with a friend and she suggested the most obvious answer... maybe I'm Pregnant! 

I looked down at my stomach.. and there it was, my round little belly... maybe she was right... sometimes I do hear the growls of some kind of being emanating from it... maybe thats my kid saying "Hi mom.. or dad... or whatever!" 

The funny thing is... I don't remember getting laid anytime in the near past either... 

Hmmm... mysteries of life I guess!!

:-S

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

My Psychic powers...

Way back in 1998 when I joined engineering everything was wonderful in the world. It was the internet boom era... Multi-Billion dollar companies were getting created left, right and center. The entire world seemed to have taken a leap, way into the future... Traditional business models were getting re-written and the world seemed to be at peace... 

All of us were happy to be at the right place at the right time. Fresh engineers from reputed institutions were being fought over by companies... Infy, TCS, Wipro... even the likes of Microsoft, IBM, HP etc... 

Then Y2K happened. Everyone predicted the end of the world... But Indian engineers were getting recuited to solve the Y2K bug... The world's problem had become a massive opportunity for us... Good news. What was predicted to be a Big Bang came and went with a whimper! 

Then in 2001, two independent events rocked the very core of this existence... The World Trade Center was bought down by terrorists and the Internet bust happened... there was mayham everywhere... jobs were lost in the tens of thousands... multi-billion dollar businesses became worthless overnight... 

All this happened during my 3rd year at college resulting in just a handful of companies coming for recruitment and taking just a few of us. The problems in the markets lasted till early 2003. Luckily for me I had to wait only a few months before I got my first job.

I know, you are wondering... what this got to do with my psychic powers... 

Well, I predicted at the beginning of the year that since I'm going for studies this year, something major will happen to the world and that by the end of the year the world would be in a straight mess!

Well, looks like my prediction has come true... Sub-Prime crisis, US banks tanking all around, world financial markets all gone for a toss, US trying to salvage it by offering 1 Trillion dollar bail out (and congress rejecting it), terrorists attacking locations around the world, India seeing atleast one terrorist attack on a daily basis, Wars all around the world, world food crisis at an all time high... 

Looks like its gonna be job hunting on the streets for me again...

:(

Friday, September 26, 2008

Singapore Incidents 3 - wet-wipes

She was visibly shaking... I knew it would be bad for her... I had told her so... and yet i guess she went ahead and did it anyway! Girls! They just don't listen to wisdom!

I took her aside and sat her down on a ledge... I could see her shiver... took off my jacket and offered it and she gladly accepted... 

Me: "I told you not to do it, dint I?"
Her: "But they forced me to.."

Me: "I'm sure you could have stood you ground... even though you are as light as a feather!"
Her: "But they dared me to..."

She was imploring for understanding... I could hear it in her voice... and as a friend, I had to deliver... but why did she have to get on that damned thing!

The reverse bungee thing was scary! More so because of the price (40 Sing $)! That apart, the thing shot you up in the air at 200 Kms/Hr, keep bouncing for God knows how long, twist and turns you 4-5 times... Your entire life flashes in front of our eyes...

Me: "Ok, calm down... its over now..."
Her: "Ya... thank god!"

Me: "But I'm really proud of you... you went thru all that ordeal and came out in one piece!" :)
Her: "Yeah Right! I wet my pants!"

Eewwww! Gross! And to think I was sitting near her, had my arms around her shoulder and even gave her my jacket! 

My first instinct was to withdraw my hand... But then I remembered Joey in F.R.I.E.N.D.S (Episode 4.01) when he said "That's right, I stepped up! She's my friend and she needed help! If I had too, I'd pee on any one of you!"

Likewise, She needed my help and support... even if she wet herself... 

Me: "Hmm... So do you wanna go back to the hotel and freshen up?"
Her: "No, its fine... it'll dry up soon enough!"

What! Sheesh... and I thought girls were a bit more concerned about their appearance etc etc... evidently not this girl... its almost like she is a guy... I always had my doubts... Hmmm...

Me: "Dude! thats really gross alright! I mean its understandable that you wet yourself cos you had to get on that bungee thingy, but not cleaning up after that is just BAD!"
Her: "WHAT! YUCK! what do you mean I wet myself??"

Me: "Well, you said it yourself! That you wet yourself!"
Her: "I did not! you are just making it up!"

Readers please Note: I have proof of that statement at the beginning of this blog... So im covered!

Me: "You did too! And come to think of it, I can now see that your pants are really wet! Chee..."
Her: "Dumbo! Mr A and the gang were playing near the open fountain and they pushed me into it and thats how my pants became wet! Sheesh... you are sick! And FYI I dint get on that bungee thing! Humph!!"

Me: "Oh! I thought... I mean... Dude... I'm Sorry... My mistake... I was only looking out for you..."
Her: "Hmmm... Its Ok..."

Me: "So, why dint you go on that bungee thingy?"
Her: "Oh! Thats not for me! Id be so scared that I would probably wet my pants!!"

P.S: FYI readers... I call her Miss Wetty Pants now... 

:D

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Buddha was right!

All of us reach a certain point in our lives where we feel that life has taken a very wrong turn on us. Try as we might, we don't seem to be able to solve the problems or be able to come out of the suffering. 

In our desperation, we turn to family... all of us do... and yet even they seem to be not able o do anything. We turn to God... all of us do... and yet mostly we find that God still continues testing us. And we ask him "Why me?". 

But what we don't realise is that the most of the time the solutions will be right in front of our eyes. God would have already shown it to us. Only, we choose NOT TO SEE! 

Here is where I bring in The Buddha. Almost 3000 years ago the Buddha taught us:

The Cause of suffering: People live in a sea of suffering because of ignorance and greed. They are ignorant of the Law of Karma and are greedy for the wrong kind of pleasures. They do things that are harmful to their bodies and peace of mind, so they can not be satisfied or enjoy life. 

For example, once children have had a taste of candy, they want more. When they can't have it, they get upset. Even if children get all the candy they want, they soon get tired of it and want something else. Although, they get a stomach-ache from eating too much candy, they still want more. The things people want most cause them the most suffering. 

Of course, there are basic things that all people should have, like adequate food, shelter, and clothing. Everyone deserve a good home, loving parents, and good friends. They should enjoy life and cherish their possessions without becoming greedy.

The End of sufferingTo end suffering, one must cut off greed and ignorance. This means changing one's views and living in a more natural and peaceful way. Achieve Nirvana. The Buddha said, "The extinction of desire is Nirvana." It can be experienced in this very life.

Reference:
http://online.sfsu.edu/~rone/Buddhism/footsteps.htm

So what does this teaching mean to us? 

Simple. Most of our sufferings and sadness emanates from craving for and wanting something that will not do us any good except give short term happiness or pleasure. If only we could just let go of our unwanted desires and cravings, we will be much better off and happy. How do we know if the desire is unwanted? I believe deep inside we (I mean people with a certain level of mental maturity, mostly adults) all know that the desire is unwanted, we simply choose not to accept it and keep clinging on to it because the child in us wants his/her candy.

Believe me... It works! Im now experiencing the Power of Letting Go... And I'm Happy
:)

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Singapore incidents 2 - What a night!

2 weeks back 43 energetic Great Lakers risked it all and travelled to Singapore and Malaysia for a week of "Study Tour". Why risked? Well, if you are a Great Laker, you will instinctively know. If not, join Great Lakes to know! :)

We were put up at a beach resort at Singapore and were allocated individual condos on a twin sharing basis. I shared mine with Ranjith. The one next to ours was occupied by Miss R and Miss Po (To differentiate from my usual scapegoat, Miss P). 

As was expected, we worked hard in the mornings visiting companies and universities and partied harder in the evenings, freaking out in the singapore night life. My typical day was from 6 Am to 2 Am (the next day obviously)

On our second day there, most of us split up into smaller groups and headed for different parts of the city. My groups went to Clark Quay, Little India etc. (there was a little incident at Little India, but thats for a later time). 

I was dead tired by the time I came back. I got into bed by around 12:30 Am only to be woken up by Ranjith who returned by 1:30 Am. Soon after I fell into deep sleep. 

But somehow, at the back of my head I could hear some excited shouts and screams from the vicinity of my condo, but I was too tired to bother. 

At around 5 in the morning I woke up to the following conversation (shouts rather)

"R! That was wonderful! Ive never had such a night! Thanks so much for the wonderful night..." 

The sleep that I was in, all this did not really register into my head and I didn't think of it. I got up and opened my door to find Mr P standing at the door of the Condo next door, (in quite an intoxicated state I must say!) hugging it and serenading almost down on his knees. I dint find Miss R anywhere though!

"Dude! Shut up! Others are sleeping... and this is no way to say somethng personal to a girl!"

"Oh! I'm sorry George..." and he strutted away, Mr BigFoot that he is. 

Later at the breakfast hall I happened to run into into Miss R. We both said the morning pleasantries and smiled at each other. Perhaps I had more than a smile on my face for she kinda gave me a look as if I was some kinda weirdo.

"I heard it all..." {Wink, Wink} I said in reply to her searching look.

"Heard what? And whats with the winking?" she asked.

Man, she knows how to act!! Well, Im not gonna leave it at that!

"Babe, you live next door... and the condos are barely sound proof y'know!" said I.

"Ya, so?" 

"Well, when I heard the noise and all yesterday, I really did not think anything... But when I heard Mr P today morning, I kinda got the idea..." {Wink, Wink}

"What idea? What are you talking about? And quit winking!!"

Ya! Right! Like you don't know! Ill get the truth outta you somehow, just you wait!

"But where was Miss Po yesterday night then?" I wondered out loud

"Po was with me!" 

"Po was also there with you!!?? Man, you people are really progressive aren't you!?" 

"What the hell are you talking about man?" She was almost on a boil...

"I heard Mr P shouting out about the 'wonderful night' and stuff! hee hee" {Wink}

"Dumbo, Its my B'Day today and all those guys came to our condo at 2 Am and took me off to an early morning B'Day party by the beach... and they got drunk but we had a real fun time! Thats what he was talking about!!!"

"Oh is that all?? Oooppsie..." 

And for the rest of the day I walked around with a permanent wink on my face!

:-D

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Singapore Incidents 1 - Photo sessions

Anyone who has been to an arcade game centre (or a circus) will definitely have played the game "Popping Dolls". Basically, these stupid dolls keep popping up thru holes at random and you've got to hit them on the head to gain points. 

All thru my recent Singapore-Malaysia International study tour trip I was practically playing the game, albeit in a different way. I was playing it while trying to take pictures. 

Didn't quite get it eh? Well, picture this. Its quite the challenge getting pictures right when you are taking them on a DSLR on full Manual control (My friend Ganesh will agree, I tried teaching him the nuances of taking pictures using a DSLR during the trip). 

Finally, you manage to set up your camera to capture some good, picturesque shots. You click and look at the preview only to find a doll-like figure just popped into your frame! I swear you feel like playing the "Popping Doll" game on them!! Lucky for them, I only had my camera in my hand and not a hammer (or better a hatchet!)

So who were these doll-like figures? I call them the "Dumb Duo" - Miss Soumya B and Mr Aanand 

Some Pictures Below :) 

Who's Who!!??

Mr Peeker at Work!
The "Dumb Duo"
Miss Paris!

Head Shot
Peeka Booo.. Aint I a model?
Another one of them peekers - Abhishek
Ok! Once i got them covered!
There she goes again!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Long time, No see...

Hi all,

I kow i havnt blogged in a while. Reason? I was touring Singapore and Malaysia as part of an International Study Tour that we have here at Great Lakes. 

It was a fantastic trip. I shall be writing about it soon... but now, i have an exam to write tomorrow and havnt started prep for it. 

Ill take my leave now. and be back with a bang (or whimper) however it is you see it...

:)

Friday, September 05, 2008

Embarrassing Truths!

College was one time when we did a lot of crazy things. At first they seem to impact the very essence of your survival and life, but once the time is past and you look back at it, many things kinda look funny. 

Ive written about my friend Anoob who has a knack of saying just the wrong things at the right time (or vice-versa)... The following incident happened when he was doing his engineering.

Ok, so there is a history to this story. Apparently when they were in their 1st year of engineering, a guy in their class got kicked out of college for playing peeping tom while a girl (lets call her Miss W) was taking bath in her apartment. This guy went around announcing this to the entire college and promptly got the boot.

Now, years later, when the rest of the class was in the 4th year, they were sitting around pulling each others legs and basically having fun. Anoob, as usual, was siting in a corner as if minding his own business. 

Mr X1: "Guys lets go for a movie"
Mr X2: "Yeah, thats a great idea!"

Miss X1: "Then we need to go home and get ready ASAP"
Miss W: "Yeah! and we need to be all fresh and beautiful for the date"

Mr X1: "Fresh and beautiful?? Hows that?"
Miss W: "Well, go get ready, take a bath, put on make up etc"

Mr X2: "Yeah right! You ppl? Fresh and beautiful? Like, do you even know what a bath is?? :-P"

At this point, Anoob, who like I mentioned, was apparently minding his own business,  got into the conversation and vehemently opposed Mr X2

Anoob: "HEY! Don't you dare say that she doesn't take a bath! We have proof! There are people who have seen her take a bath!!!"

:-S

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

shocking PPT on world hunger...

I got this PPT from a classmate and was so disturbed by what i saw that i felt it is my duty to spread the word. What you are about to see will rock your very core, but hopefully it will also jolt you into action. 

Take a look  at it below...



Thursday, August 28, 2008

My first payment...

Today was an important day in my photography "career" :) I got my first ever "payment" for a picture that i took of my classmate - Abhishek. What did he give me? A big pack of Cadburys Dairymilk :) (Ofcourse, i dint ask for it)

Actually, the pic in Qn is not one that im particularly proud of due to several reasons like its out of focus, the exposure was way too high, the ISO is at 1600, there is visible shake etc etc etc. 

But hey! My client is happy... Not only happy, he is positively ecstatic! And that's what matters... the happiness of your clients. Apparently, he got a LOT of positive comments and admirations from friends and others...



Thanks Abhishek!

:)

Monday, August 25, 2008

Ideas Galore!

Now that we were on a lean period here at Great Lakes, everyone has found something or the other to keep themselves engaged. The latest craze doing the rounds is entering b-plan contests. (Its got an even bigger boost since two teams from from Great Lakes made it to the final round of IIM-B b-plan contest and one of them won first place!!) It has reached such feverish levels that if you find 3 people standing together talking, you can be rest assured that they are discussing a b-plan!

Not to be left behind, and with starry eyes and dreams of prizes, my friends and I too decided "Chalo guys, lets do a b-plan"

"Yeah! great idea. Ill do the operations" said one

"And Ill do the Marketing bit" said the next

"Me, the Financials" said the last

"Cummon guys, give me something to do too!" said I

"You come up with the idea!" All of them chorused...

Great! I get the best part! No use protesting... I wasn't quick at picking topics... and since we are a democratic race, I have to accept what's given to me.

OK! let me think! ______________________________________

Ok, I've hit a blank in under a minute! Could be a world record of sorts, I'm sure! "Guys! you need to help me out here... What kind of business are we looking at?"

"The money making kind!" they said... Trust my friends to give out readymade answers for these very critical and important questions in unison...

"I know it needs to be money making and all. But are we looking at products or services?" I prod

"Products!"
"Services!"
"Either!"

Great! For this they don't have a common answer!

"Ok lets go over it, what kind of product?"

"Oh! Oh! I've got it!" said Mr V. He was so excited that he was going round an round on all fours all over his bed as if chasing his own tail!

"Dude! What's with the doggy style?! Calm down and spit out the bone!"

He gave me a frown that I swear only a doggy could have given. I decided not to press the issue, lest I end up barking up the wrong tree...

"How about making an oil cube?" he said

A what?? Is it some kind of industrial stuff?

"Err... what?" we ask

"An oil cube! Y'know instead of buying an entire 1 liter pack of cooking oil, buy just a cube of it" he said

I guess we stared at him way too long. He continued "Ok, Ok how about a Chai Cube? Y'know like sugar cubes?"

"Guys, cummon! Thats a good idea no?... No?? Ok, Ok, how about cigarette cubes?"

And I'm wondering why he is so fixated on cubes! I guess he realised it too, and he changed his underlying ideas... on life itself!

"How about an automatic shaver?" he asked

"How would that work?" we asked

"Well it will have a mechanism like a rubber band that you put across your ears in front of your face and then the blade will move automatically over it and clean those stubs!"

Yeah! Right! and by the end of it all we will look like the Terminator without its living covering tissue!

"Or how about a chair that you will never fall down from?"

Why? Are you stuck to it, I felt like retorting.

"How it will work is that it will have high pressure air blowers from below that will keep the chair from falling down! Fantastic, right?!"

By the end of these barrage of ideas we decided that 'product' was not the way to go about with our b-plan. 

Finally, we did hit upon a services idea that we discussed and implemented a b-plan on. 

But Mr V still has not given upon his futuristic product ideas. We find him lost in thought and every once in a while he jumps up and goes "Eureka! Eureka!". Luckily for us, he sops with the exclamations and does not do what Archimedes did - run across the street streaking!

:)

Friday, August 22, 2008

The Grisly Beast


It lunges itself across the pathway, sweating and heaving at the effort. It carries on its shoulder something akin to roadkill. The 'stuff' just sways in rhythm to the it pace... 

Every morning it descends from the jungles on its way to the 'factory'. The factory where it gets its feed. They feed it with scraps, tiny tit-bits that are not enough to satisfy its palatable hunger...

The children of the village run for cover when they see the ghastly sight. Even grown ups move away, but thats more in disgust rather than in fear. They know its harmless. Never-the-less, they keep their young away for they don't want it scaring the little ones...

Once a while it stretches its big fat arms and tries to fan away the flies above its head. It growls at being disturbed thus. It salivates as it grunts and heaves. But the flies just don't give a damn...

It reaches the corner tea stall where it stands, anticipating a morsel. It lets out a growl which the bystanders don't quiet fathom. But the tea shop owner understands the tone. He takes out a snack from his old stock and tosses it across. He knows there is no payment, but it does not really worry him. It was old stale stock anyway and moreover this gets the beast away from his shop. It catches the food and in one bite finishes it off. It moves on again, licking its paws to savour every bit of the taste...

It moves decisively towards the factory. There is no one to even look half interested in it there. It sits at the corner waiting for its food to come. People come, people go. All the while and thru out the day it waits. Nothing much happens there at the factory...

In the evening it gets up and walks back to its lonely den, all the while keeping a tight look out for potential trouble. There is always someone to throw a rock at it. It sleeps all alone in a corner, keeping warm under a coat of fur...

As usual, today morning it did its daily walk. But to its amazement no one ran away, no one screamed. The children continued to play on the streets as it passed. There were no files to torment it and the tea shop guy gave it good food too. Even at the factory people came up and patted it! 

What was different was that I got myself a shave after almost 3 weeks! 

:)

Thursday, August 21, 2008

LOVE is all around us...

At Great lakes we are privileged to have considerable time kept aside for LOVE. Oh Yeah! You heard that right… We have designated time set aside, that too with the permission of the management, for LOVE. It happens almost every Sunday (and sometimes on other days in the evenings) when a few of us get together for these amazing sessions. And frankly, its one of the most exciting times we have here. Yes it is!

But before your kinky dirty mind starts imagining all sorts of things let me tell you what LOVE means to us. Our Uncle Bala defines LOVE as Leveraging Our Varied Experience. In essence, it is about sharing information or knowledge that has been gained from all the years that we had been working, whether in IT or manufacturing or Banking or Shipping or Logistics or wherever. The sessions are run entirely by the current students for the students. It is a medium for spreading knowledge (to those who seek it). It is a medium for expanding horizons. It is a medium for incubating and sustaining interest in fields otherwise alien to us.

A few examples:

Abhimanyu Shandilya, a Lawyer and classmate, takes a course called “Law for Managers” on free Sundays. He basically introduces us to many of the intricacies that we as managers need to be aware of. Of course, we cannot obviously expect him to teach a 5 year course in a few hours. But he does lend us enough information on contracts and Indian law to help us be on our toes. It is one of the best LOVE sessions currently running on House-Full status at Great Lakes. Infact, Abhimanyu does such a good job that he can probably give our real professors a run for their money. I personally think he will be very successful if he ever thinks of getting into the education field.

The other LOVE session of interest is the one conduced by the Punter’s club where experienced investors like Umesh gives us novice investors gyan on how to beat the market using his Technical Analysis, Elliot Wave patters, Candle Sticks and Fibonacci series methods. Most of the analysis he did made a lot of sense and the proof was right there in front of us to see. He has managed a whopping 54% returns on the current bear market in under one month!! Now that’s true Experience!!

The Great Lakes management is really forward looking in this way. They believe that the students need to be part of the institution building and is willing to help us in any way possible in our endeavours.

We the students also take the opportunity extended to us and make use of it theLOVE way!!

A different kind of blast!

25th July, 2008 – Friday Evening.

7 BOMBS GO OFF IN BANGALORE
2 PEOPLE KILLER, 7 INJURED
THE IT CAPITAL TARGETED BY TERROR

These were the headlines that were flashing on the TV screens. I sat there biting my nails. Bangalore was a relatively safe city compared to other cities in India and with the best brains in the country making a beeline for the pink city, it was assumed that such incidents would not happen there.

My wife was at Bangalore and was to leave for our home town. After a million tries I got thru to her and to my relief she was fine.

The next day matters got worse...

AHMADABAD HIT BY SERIAL BLASTS
17 BOMBS GO OFF AT AHMADABAD
60 KILLED, 100s INJURED

Man, what's happening to this country? Bombs everywhere.

Another news the next day...

OVER 15 UNEXPLODED BOMBS LOCATED AT SURAT
NO CASUALITIES
POLICE DIFFUSE BOMBS

Oh good! Atleast they were diffused before they caused havoc.

Soon Monday rolled in and we were all in class. I saw a classmate, Miss N, who was in Bangalore over the weekend. I went upto her and enquired about the incident

Miss N: “Ohh Yeah! It happened quite far away from my place”
I sensed a tone of regret in her voice. Some ppl are just plain weird I guess... I mean who would want a bomb to go off next to your house?!

She continued “Anyway, nothing much happened because it was low intensity”

Me: “Thank goodness for that!”
“So, how was your weekend away?” I ask

Miss N: “Ohh! It was too good. I was at Bangalore and I had a BLAST!”

Well, Duuh!!

:-!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The pause...

I've exhausted my share of stories,
I've said what I had to say,
I've looked back at my life and think,
Boy, what a crappy life I've had!

Im seriously thinking of retiring this blog,
Maybe I ought to do it before I die,
Coz I have very many promises to keep,
And miles and miles to go before the deep sleep... (adapted from Robert Frost)

I know, crappy poem,
But what the hey,
This is my blog,
So its all my way!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

What did I do??

Me: "Hey, i need to tell you something..."
She came near... 

Me: "Its kinda embarrassing..."
Her eyes went wide...

I was certain she became apprehensive, thinking "What is it he wants to tell me?"

I guess its curiosity.. or inquisitiveness if you wanna call it that... She was all ears

Miss X: "Ya, tell me..."
Me: "Are you sure?"

Miss X: "Ummm... ya..."
I could feel the tension in her voice...

Me: "Ok... but dont hate me for this, alright?"
Miss X: "Okie..."

Ok, here goes nothing... "Your zip is open!" I announce into her ears...

Miss X: {SCREEEECH!!!} 

Woah! I dint expect that reaction... Before I could calm her down she was jumping up and down! But instead of trying to zip up, she instantly headed for behind a car...

Me: "Hey, Dude... cool down its ok... its ok..."
Miss X: "WHAT?! HOW CAN YOU SAY ITS OK?"

I was so taken aback that I just looked at her...

Miss X: "AND STOP STARING AT ME, YOU FREAK!"

I woke up from my trance... I had to calm her down before her screams bought the entire school down...

Me: "Listen, calm down... I fix it for ya, come here" and I extended my hand to help...

Wrong thing to say to a girl I guess... now she was running away from me as if paranoid... the last I saw of her, she was running into the girls restroom, arms swinging over her head... Girls are difficult to figure out... 

I don't know what the fuss was all about... all I wanted to tell her was that the zip of her laptop bag was open...

:-S

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

What's in a name...

I did my schooling at Bhavan's Adarsha Vidyalaya (BAV), part of the Bharathiya Vidya Bhavan (BVB) group of institutions. BVB has 6 schools in Cochin and BAV is one of the best. During my time, it was a totally new school and we were the 2nd batch to pass out. Which means it was not known to the world as much. 

After school, all of us disbursed to go for higher studies, some engineering, some doctors, some B. Comm etc. Only one person, Ashwin, went on to do his Law from Ernakulam Law College. 

Now, Law College is very well known in Cochin for its enviable track record of utter Lawlessness... things are so bad that even the private bus mafia (which is very strong in cochin) would not dare to take them on... for if they were to do so, 2 things (Cardinal Rules) will automatically happen and either way, the bus owner is screwed!
1) The buses of the bus owner who dared to challenge would be completely destroyed.
2) A case will be filed against the bus owner alleging some crime against the students in the college. 

Imagine this, if a student of Law College wants to cross the road, all he does is step on to the road and raise his hands to show a Stop sign... and all vehicles are, by default, required to stop. Even if it is the Chief Minister of the state! If he doesn't, refer to Cardinal Rules above... 

Ok, let me get on with my story now that you have an idea of how Law college functions. When Aswin and a couple of frinds walked into Law College the very first time in his life, there he saw a group of vultures (read seniors) waiting to pounce on them. It was just a matter of time before the 3 of them were squatting in front of the seniors in positions that they dint know they could humanly achieve.

The first guy was asked "Which School, you low life?"
"Toc-H!" He answered proudly... and a split second later he was eating mud from the nearby puddle onto which he was graciously pushed into. 

Same question to the second guy...
"Choice!" and he too received the same treatment... boy! They sure hated guys from famous schools!

Ashwin's turn, same question..
In the worst accent possible he replied "Aaadarshaaa..." 

And the seniors let him off thinking he already had had his share of humiliation in life by going to some obscure "local" school...

:)