Mark Anthony - A contemporary speech

I've always wondered... What would it be like if Shakespeare were born to this age and time... Of course, it would mean that mankind would never have got a chance to experience his plays (since he would be busy writing blogs to give a damn...), but it does make you think dosen't it... Well, I've taken the liberty of translating a famous piece from Julius Caesar. 

First, the original...

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:..."

Now, the modern...

"Dudes, Dudettes, and Y'all, Jst chill awrite;

Caeser dude's goin 6 feet under, but I'm not here to give him the Props.

The dude was kinda wicked n we'll all remember that;

Righteous! is kinda lame n so we forget;

Ditto with Caesar. The Puffed-up dude Brutus 

told you Caesar was like ambitious or whatever:..."

On hindsight, I think its best to leave it Shakespeare where he belongs... back in those times when english made sense (!!??)

:-S